Ok So You’ve

[MP386]

liked a couple of posts, you start to get interested in the person behind the posts !
You click on the name and open the profile, perhaps wander around their media, what then stops you messaging the person ?

Is it age related
Too far away
Looks aren’t to your liking
Shyness
Or something else entirely

We are probably the best swinging community on the net and I may be wrong but there’s a hell of a lot of community stuff happening but not a large amount of swinging !!
By and large all of the people on this site are well known and trustworthy so what’s the blockers ?
As with all things you only get out what you put in xx

I have pretty much used the site now everyday for the last 3 1/2 years I will have been a member 4years in November I think it is so I think I put a reasonable amount of effort into this ..
yes I have met some fantastic people and have lots of memories I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t stumbled across SS ...
I used to like the emojis as a way of showing an interest in what’s going on , since they went I haven’t felt the need to like everything...
As for messaging people yes age is a consideration although I have followed one or two younger recently I do have the doubt is it wrong , I am actually old enough to be their.....
When I had issues with 4G connections with the site I thought in for a penny in for a pound I tried the opposition yes lots of members close BUT !!! ... complete waste of time just full of rude people up their own arses... needless to say I don’t frequent there often.... yes I heard the stories but until you try it yourself you don’t know ....
Now SS is much more social people do actually interact with me even if it’s no more than an online thing ..
is the site emphasis changing to being more about Socials than swinging?? Sometimes I think yes ... life at the moment for me is only about work , things have been slow so that has to take precedence over everything, not a lot of spare cash for swinging of any shape or form .. the year started off well I had 3 fantastic meets ... Xtasisa I won’t mention that wasn’t so good ...

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I have pretty much used the site now everyday for the last 3 1/2 years I will have been a member 4years in November I think it is so I think I put a reasonable amount of effort into this ..
yes I have met some fantastic people and have lots of memories I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t stumbled across SS ...
I used to like the emojis as a way of showing an interest in what’s going on , since they went I haven’t felt the need to like everything...
As for messaging people yes age is a consideration although I have followed one or two younger recently I do have the doubt is it wrong , I am actually old enough to be their.....
When I had issues with 4G connections with the site I thought in for a penny in for a pound I tried the opposition yes lots of members close BUT !!! ... complete waste of time just full of rude people up their own arses... needless to say I don’t frequent there often.... yes I heard the stories but until you try it yourself you don’t know ....
Now SS is much more social people do actually interact with me even if it’s no more than an online thing ..
is the site emphasis changing to being more about Socials than swinging?? Sometimes I think yes ... life at the moment for me is only about work , things have been slow so that has to take precedence over everything, not a lot of spare cash for swinging of any shape or form .. the year started off well I had 3 fantastic meets ... Xtasisa I won’t mention that wasn’t so good ...

9th of November 2015. One of our oldest existing members.
As for the ratings... well watch this space. They were removed for several reasons, SS V.2.0 being one of them.
The rest, I can't comment on but at least you now know the other side of the fence I guess.

 

[fincon]

Too many people get comfy sadly Stew and cliques form, people then forget why they are here but we are here for the same reasons as you and are meeting. Either we get a message or we message them and go from there. As stoke said, you only get out what you put in and it works. For us anyway.

Once again, I have to stress the usual caveats here…

...for the same reasons as you…

And that’s why I’ll rarely, very rarely, initiate private contact, via PM, say. Because I don’t want at any point to mislead, even by omission. I’m happy to receive messages and to chat to pretty much anyone, and I don’t think anyone’s ever dropped me a PM where they or I have regretted the chat…

But I figure that most people on here PM people if they want to chat with at least the hope that it’ll lean towards, that it’ll head towards, meeting.

And it’s unfair of me to pretend that’s likely to happen; there’s also me not wanting to waste people’s time with PMs when they already are getting PMs from - as you say - people looking for the same thing, ie meeting.

As some could confirm, I’d hope PMs with me aren’t an entire waste of time, but… this site has managed on the whole to avoid attracting time-wasters… I don’t want to unfortunately give the impression to any women that that no longer applies. x

[Long, but honest answer]

 

[MP386]

9th of November 2015. One of our oldest existing members.
As for the ratings... well watch this space. They were removed for several reasons, SS V.2.0 being one of them.
The rest, I can't comment on but at least you now know the other side of the fence I guess.

Oldest or just old

 

[Ahabs]

liked a couple of posts, you start to get interested in the person behind the posts !
You click on the name and open the profile, perhaps wander around their media, what then stops you messaging the person ?

Is it age related
Too far away
Looks aren’t to your liking
Shyness
Or something else entirely
...

Rarely age, if the connection is there.
Rarely distance, (been as far west as Amanford in Wales, north as Fort William in Scotland, east as Boston in Lincs): just needs planning.
Looks? To be honest I worry half the time I'm the ugly duckling: very few people would I be arrogant enough to say "not my liking".
I may be shy first couple of minute sin person, but not to send a "hello" message.

To be honest, the things that stop me:
1) No permission to view the profile
2) Can view, but no permission to message
3) Can message, but she/they aren't seeking single guys.
4) They're seeking single guys, but I've messaged once or twice and got no reply back.
5) I've got replies, but just a matter of logistics... doesn;t happen overnight and sometimes time passes.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Rarely age, if the connection is there.
Rarely distance, (been as far west as Amanford in Wales, north as Fort William in Scotland, east as Boston in Lincs): just needs planning.
Looks? To be honest I worry half the time I'm the ugly duckling: very few people would I be arrogant enough to say "not my liking".
I may be shy first couple of minute sin person, but not to send a "hello" message.

To be honest, the things that stop me:
1) No permission to view the profile
2) Can view, but no permission to message
3) Can message, but she/they aren't seeking single guys.
4) They're seeking single guys, but I've messaged once or twice and got no reply back.
5) I've got replies, but just a matter of logistics... doesn;t happen overnight and sometimes time passes.

Not on this site though is it. Please stop banging on about other sites yeah? It’s not doing us any favours and frankly I find it distasteful.

 

[Ahabs]

Not on this site though is it. Please stop banging on about other sites yeah? It’s not doing us any favours and frankly I find it distasteful.

Apologies for not clarifying: as I look at my experiences from all sources as a whole and not necessarily unique to one source I need to know if my success/failures are unique to that one source or just me as a person.

But, to clarify, yes, some (not all) of the above list are from this site. Not trying to highlight any negatives (I'm not into the blame game) but just saying it as it is.

If however you prefer my posts to ignore experiences outside this site for the sake of context, I'm happy to take that on board as constructive criticism.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Apologies for not clarifying: as I look at my experiences from all sources as a whole and not necessarily unique to one source I need to know if my success/failures are unique to that one source or just me as a person.

But, to clarify, yes, some (not all) of the above list are from this site. Not trying to highlight any negatives (I'm not into the blame game) but just saying it as it is.

If however you prefer my posts to ignore experiences outside this site for the sake of context, I'm happy to take that on board as constructive criticism.

It’s not that my friend, it’s not about external experiences but there’s obviously a lot of issues for you going on, over there. It’s not healthy for anyone. Fix it and vote with your feet. Simple.

 

[Ahabs]

It’s not that my friend, it’s not about external experiences but there’s obviously a lot of issues for you going on, over there. It’s not healthy for anyone. Fix it and vote with your feet. Simple.

Could you PM me please? I feel it would be better to discuss in private and not distract from the thread.

 

[Ahabs]

*** Reposted for site context ***

To be honest, the things that stop me:
1) No permission to view the profile
2) Can view, but no permission to message
3) Can message, but she/they aren't seeking single guys.
4) They're seeking single guys, but I've messaged once or twice and got no reply back.

Yes my time is limited as we all have real life adulting to deal with, then spare what time we have on here.
I make do as I can to engage the community when I can. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't ... but I'll keep ticking along.

 

[Deleted member 11094]

liked a couple of posts, you start to get interested in the person behind the posts !
You click on the name and open the profile, perhaps wander around their media, what then stops you messaging the person ?

Is it age related
Too far away
Looks aren’t to your liking
Shyness
Or something else entirely

We are probably the best swinging community on the net and I may be wrong but there’s a hell of a lot of community stuff happening but not a large amount of swinging !!
By and large all of the people on this site are well known and trustworthy so what’s the blockers ?
As with all things you only get out what you put in xx

I like to meet in person, think events and socials are good for that.
But online it took a few months to learn how to do things on here, and then to build confidence in messaging. Communicating in the forums and such, sharing pictures/gifs that interest you, and seeing pics and things that others share. All that can lead to further chats.

I tend to be open and friendly with most folks. When it comes to flirting it is more subtle, but something I much prefer in person, as for me it is the body language, expressions, and the connection. In messaging it can be a bit of fun but I don't tend to dive in the deep end , for example talking dirty, sharing pics, not my style.

Also have my own boundaries. So looking at 'blockers', sometimes when reading further into someone's profile, or talking to them, realise that there is a situation there that clashes with a certain boundary, and thus know it could not go any further. However, doesn't stop friendly chat and friendship
x

 

[Stew]

I like to meet in person, think events and socials are good for that.
But online it took a few months to learn how to do things on here, and then to build confidence in messaging. Communicating in the forums and such, sharing pictures/gifs that interest you, and seeing pics and things that others share. All that can lead to further chats.

I tend to be open and friendly with most folks. When it comes to flirting it is more subtle, but something I much prefer in person, as for me it is the body language, expressions, and the connection. In messaging it can be a bit of fun but I don't tend to dive in the deep end , for example talking dirty, sharing pics, not my style.

Also have my own boundaries. So looking at 'blockers', sometimes when reading further into someone's profile, or talking to them, realise that there is a situation there that clashes with a certain boundary, and thus know it could not go any further. However, doesn't stop friendly chat and friendship
x

Great post very honest and enlightening !
I agree flirting in 2D is difficult without the visual clues the nuances of chat sometimes create misunderstandings !
Sometimes a chat on the phone or FT/****** can help, but essentially we have a profile, maybe a few pics, banter on here! And pm chat which may or may not be welcomed !
Boundaries should never be broken, they are boundaries for a reason !
So essentially it becomes down to gut instinct, but it should never lead to a lack of respect for any member ! We all bang to the beat of different drums so to speak !