Out of your comfort zone

[Deleted member 8095]

I (M) suffer from Generalised anxiety disorder and swinging is totally out of my comfort zone. From my experiences so far i have really enjoyed it and want to continue although it has played havoc at times with my anxiety levels. I work every day to stay in control and if you were meeting me i don't think you would ever guess as i am fairly loud and bubbly. Being here on ss has helped me step outside of my comfort zone as its very welcoming and warm but most if all its friendly which is why I'm so excited about meeting everyone who is going on saturday. Thanks all xxx M xxx

 

[Deleted member 3175]

I (M) suffer from Generalised anxiety disorder and swinging is totally out of my comfort zone. From my experiences so far i have really enjoyed it and want to continue although it has played havoc at times with my anxiety levels. I work every day to stay in control and if you were meeting me i don't think you would ever guess as i am fairly loud and bubbly. Being here on ss has helped me step outside of my comfort zone as its very welcoming and warm but most if all its friendly which is why I'm so excited about meeting everyone who is going on saturday. Thanks all xxx M xxx

:mwah: S xx

 

[Baldrick]

I have to do this for a living but in that situation i am in control so i am cool but nervious but its ok for me to be cocky so thats my cover i guess

Eyup.

Just been reading this thread and I can totally relate to your anxiety. I feel like we have the same anxiety.
For my career, I have to appear confident, relatable, talk to many groups of people from all walks of life and come across as the best Engineer in West Yorkshire but....... at a party I will stand in a corner if left to my own devices. In crowded shops I've been known to just drop everything and walk out cos I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack.
Basically sometimes I just can't handle large groups of people and have to leave, and then I chastise myself cos I think It's pathetic .

I have tried analysing it myself and I can only conclude that I feel more in control in a work type situation and therefore able to control it better but tbh fuck knows:hmm:

B x

 

[Deleted member 3175]

Eyup.

Just been reading this thread and I can totally relate to your anxiety. I feel like we have the same anxiety.
For my career, I have to appear confident, relatable, talk to many groups of people from all walks of life and come across as the best Engineer in West Yorkshire but....... at a party I will stand in a corner if left to my own devices. In crowded shops I've been known to just drop everything and walk out cos I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack.
Basically sometimes I just can't handle large groups of people and have to leave, and then I chastise myself cos I think It's pathetic .

I have tried analysing it myself and I can only conclude that I feel more in control in a work type situation and therefore able to control it better but tbh fuck knows:hmm:

B x

Having never had anxiety don’t know what it’s like. It must be difficult but we all deal with it in different ways. Thing is you can only take that step when you are ready, and when it’s right for you, thanks for sharing it must be difficult to say it out loud so to speak S x x

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

:mwah: S xx

I dont think that folks realise just how scared people feel at these times Maybe to give you an idea i will tell you about an incedent in my life - I went to a bush bar in Africa with a friend who also happens to be white, As soon as we walked in from the bush the whole place went silent but we fronted it out and got 2 drinks and to be honest it was hostile big time. I took us tops 5 mins to drink most of out bottles of beer and turned to walk out only to be followed by 3 big black guys who shouted abuse at us in German as they walked a few yards behind. I took my friends bottle and said when i say you run and dont stop and dont come back until you bring the police. As she ran i turned around to face them ready to fight the 3 of them and was really scared but ready the fear i felt at that moment was nothing compaired to walking in a room full of strangers.

 

[Baldrick]

Having never had anxiety don’t know what it’s like. It must be difficult but we all deal with it in different ways. Thing is you can only take that step when you are ready, and when it’s right for you, thanks for sharing it must be difficult to say it out loud so to speak S x x

Nah honestly It's not a difficult thing to share (well for me anyway). I find it quite a ridiculous thing to 'suffer' from. I say suffer lightly because it doesn't have a massive impact on my life, it just makes me feel very silly occasionally.
Sometimes in a shopping centre I'll just say to Kaz "I'm off" and leave and she understands that I'll be waiting for her outside.
The odd thing is that some days I'm fine and other days I can't get in to a lift. Because I rationalise everything, I realise how irrational and illogical I'm being and that irritates me more than anything else

B x

 

[Carpediem2008]

For me it was as simple as posting a photo of myself... On our profiles....sounds silly but fear of rejection really does weird things to you...but I'm at the point now where I just think screw it not gunna experience anything new if you don't put yourself out there what's the worst that can happen... You get a no thanks....dont mean anything in the long run. X

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Nah honestly It's not a difficult thing to share (well for me anyway). I find it quite a ridiculous thing to 'suffer' from. I say suffer lightly because it doesn't have a massive impact on my life, it just makes me feel very silly occasionally.
Sometimes in a shopping centre I'll just say to Kaz "I'm off" and leave and she understands that I'll be waiting for her outside.
The odd thing is that some days I'm fine and other days I can't get in to a lift. Because I rationalise everything, I realise how irrational and illogical I'm being and that irritates me more than anything else

B x

I so understand however it gets me differently - i am finding it really hard to tell you all this as i am Mr so in control and got my life sorted and it feels like i am naked on the town hall steps right now - I also need to confront it and get it out in the open

 

[Baldrick]

I dont think that folks realise just how scared people feel at these times Maybe to give you an idea i will tell you about an incedent in my life - I went to a bush bar in Africa with a friend who also happens to be white, As soon as we walked in from the bush the whole place went silent but we fronted it out and got 2 drinks and to be honest it was hostile big time. I took us tops 5 mins to drink most of out bottles of beer and turned to walk out only to be followed by 3 big black guys who shouted abuse at us in German as they walked a few yards behind. I took my friends bottle and said when i say you run and dont stop and dont come back until you bring the police. As she ran i turned around to face them ready to fight the 3 of them and was really scared but ready the fear i felt at that moment was nothing compaired to walking in a room full of strangers.

My anxiety is different to that. I don't feel fear like that, just the overwhelming urge that I have to leave right NOW kind of thing and then I just drop everything and fuck off. I've even done it in nightclubs .

B x

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

My anxiety is different to that. I don't feel fear like that, just the overwhelming urge that I have to leave right NOW kind of thing and then I just drop everything and fuck off. I've even done it in nightclubs .

B x

it comes out in so many ways and that cannot be easy

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

it comes out in so many ways and that cannot be easy

Bet you never did it in Heppys cos your feet would have been stuck to the floor

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Was gonna ask admin to delete my posts but changed my mind let it remain and if i start being a stuck up areshole tell me to get to fuck ( sorry for swearing)

 

[Sammy]

For me it was as simple as posting a photo of myself... On our profiles....sounds silly but fear of rejection really does weird things to you...but I'm at the point now where I just think screw it not gunna experience anything new if you don't put yourself out there what's the worst that can happen... You get a no thanks....dont mean anything in the long run. X

Yes I'm with you here I was long time before I started up loading pics and only recently added one that I wasn't going to .... but without lot of encouragement from one special but totally mad ss lady I probably wouldn't have done it
Sx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Was gonna ask admin to delete my posts but changed my mind let it remain and if i start being a stuck up areshole tell me to get to fuck ( sorry for swearing)

The thing is sharing is the first step, getting it off of your chest is a massive step, without sounding patronising at all, well done you!!! Its a very brave thing you have done and i mean that sincerely xxx M

 

[Baldrick]

it comes out in so many ways and that cannot be easy

I'm not trying to be all macho cos believe me I'm not but I really don't find it a difficult thing to cope with but I live with the attitude of, "I really don't care what people think of me. I am who I am and I can't help having anxiety attacks so take me as I am or not at all".
Yes It's embarrassing sometimes (for Kaz too) and I make a prat of myself but that's life.
Some find it harder than others to deal with but most of the time I'm ok.

Although 5 years ago my Mum asked me to give her away at her wedding (in place of her Dad) and that struck the fear of God into Me, walking her down the isle, sat at the raised platform on facing everybody to eat my dinner and then the speech in front of 100 guests. That was terrifying.

B x

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

I'm not trying to be all macho cos believe me I'm not but I really don't find it a difficult thing to cope with but I live with the attitude of, "I really don't care what people think of me. I am who I am and I can't help having anxiety attacks so take me as I am or not at all".
Yes It's embarrassing sometimes (for Kaz too) and I make a prat of myself but that's life.
Some find it harder than others to deal with but most of the time I'm ok.

Although 5 years ago my Mum asked me to give her away at her wedding (in place of her Dad) and that struck the fear of God into Me, walking her down the isle, sat at the raised platform on facing everybody to eat my dinner and then the speech in front of 100 guests. That was terrifying.

B x

You did well fella by the sounds of it - Maybe we could do stand ins for each other as we sound like we are the polar opposites suffering with the same thing but dealing with it the opposite too - strange thing the mind

 

[Pearls]

Good thread and replies.
I have tried to think of something all evening and can’t really.
It’s a difficult one. X

 

[Baldrick]

Good thread and replies.
I have tried to think of something all evening and can’t really.
It’s a difficult one. X

Errm cooking? :grin:

B x

 

[Neetdan]

My anxiety is different to that. I don't feel fear like that, just the overwhelming urge that I have to leave right NOW kind of thing and then I just drop everything and fuck off. I've even done it in nightclubs .

B x

I suffer with anxiety and this is how it gets me too. I can be sat in a pub then suddenly have to leave. I get up maybe telling who I'm with that I'm going to the toilet but I can't walk back in again I think that everybody's going to be looking at me. I also don't cope very well with a lot of people and the thought of going to a social scares the shit out of me x

 

[Baldrick]

I suffer with anxiety and this is how it gets me too. I can be sat in a pub then suddenly have to leave. I get up maybe telling who I'm with that I'm going to the toilet but I can't walk back in again I think that everybody's going to be looking at me. I also don't cope very well with a lot of people and the thought of going to a social scares the shit out of me x

Truthfully my friends and family know this is something I do. Yes it can be embarrassing sometimes but when/if I return, nobody mentions it or makes me feel uncomfortable. Nobody fusses over me asking if I'm alright, It's just something that they've accepted as normal.

B x

 

[Neetdan]

My mother found out last year that tnis I'd what I did - Dan, I, the 2 youngest kids, my mother and stepfather went to Florida and for the first week it was brilliant and I was happy and interacting with all the Disney characters etc then one day at one of the parks I couldn't make myself get on a ride that I love. I made everyone else ride it while I went and sat on a bench under a tree out of the way. When they found me it was as if I didn't have the energy to interact anymore even with them. My mother was upset as she thought she'd said something to offend me but I couldn't explain that I couldn't do it any more. I'd been fine for a week but that sapped it all out of me. I'm not sure if Dan really understands either the way I feel??

 

[Vanezza]

Truthfully my friends and family know this is something I do. Yes it can be embarrassing sometimes but when/if I return, nobody mentions it or makes me feel uncomfortable. Nobody fusses over me asking if I'm alright, It's just something that they've accepted as normal.

B x

You know when you did a disappearing act and I knew you I would just bug you till you told me to fuck off, with laughter I've done it before and I might do it again. I get tense in many situations but I haven't let it get the better of me since I was 20 years old. I make my astounding silliness shine through instead

N xxx

 

[Baldrick]

You know when you did a disappearing act and I knew you I would just bug you till you told me to fuck off, with laughter I've done it before and I might do it again. I get tense in many situations but I haven't let it get the better of me since I was 20 years old. I make my astounding silliness shine through instead

N xxx

Mate if it were you, I'd expect you to chase after me screaming "Run for your lives, the Pixies are coming and they'll eat your babies"

B x

 

[Vanezza]

Mate if it were you, I'd expect you to chase after me screaming "Run for your lives, the Pixies are coming and they'll eat your babies"

B x

Baby eating pixies?! Last time I saw a pixie the little git was stealing my Lego. Course she was alone, maybe they only eat babies in groups.

(I apologise for the turn of this thread )

N xxx

 

[Deleted member 9925]

Complete and utter respect to those who have shared their stories not related to swinging at all but medical situations put me, the Mr, in same problem so I completely understand and respect you for feeling like this and doing it anyway it takes me a lot to go to the Drs