Why do single men get a bad reputation?

MP386 · 16 September 2021

Pearls said:
I’m going to give an example from a site/online point of view.

It’s tough for ladies online, if they are genuine and make the jump to join a site then for example this one, on joining they’ve received an email and welcome link saying hello and how the site works.
It’s not a huge message but a brief summary on how to get going.

Now before they’ve even began to look around, check the email, figure out where their profile is and get started, they’ve got Everyman and his dog all over her, jumping on her profile, in messages. She hasn’t even figured out what alerts are. For some and it has happened, they’re asking to be deleted. Guys have to stop thinking with what’s between their legs and think, stop and realise for one second and take a breath.

As every gent knows, we fully support guys but it’s tough when they behave so stupid. Just think to yourself, if you spotted a woman at a bar would you
1 go up to her and say hi, what you up to?
2 drop your trousers and flash your dick at her?
Is it ok to flash it online?

I will say that to women also.
Women behave just as bad but only because they can.
All the guys need to do is remember one thing. Human beings we all are.

It is tough for single ladies to take the plunge and get involved …
as you know I’ve always left welcome messages,just something quite generic welcoming them to the site bigging up “the best swinging site around “ …. That’s all I do ,if I get a reply I do try to engage them in conversation and try to help if they have any problems..
There have been occasions I’ve chatted with a single women who think having joined because their box hasn’t been instantly filled, that there is no one active on the site and they disappear….
so I guess there is a tightrope to walk as to the best approach…
Other than don’t flop the cock out it not big it’s not clever… be a gentleman

Lips_Pearls · 16 September 2021

Welshcouple59 said:
They have all been well mannered and polite and very respectful..

I agree with you, the majority of gents here are just that.
You'll always get the odd twat, it's life.

To be fair, most of the gents who are active on here, interact with people on here and mosey around the place - are polite, friendly and respectful.
We're lucky to have some genuinely decent blokes around IMHO.
~~

But let's not forget this is about sex too. Not just for chatting and creating knitting groups.
As long as no one is being rude, offensive or bitchy - is anyone in any position to judge another?

Nope.

Don't milk men though that's wrong...
Well, under that (?) situation it is I mean. ? ?

Pearls · 16 September 2021

MP386 said:
It is tough for single ladies to take the plunge and get involved …
as you know I’ve always left welcome messages,just something quite generic welcoming them to the site bigging up “the best swinging site around “ …. That’s all I do ,if I get a reply I do try to engage them in conversation and try to help if they have any problems..
There have been occasions I’ve chatted with a single women who think having joined because their box hasn’t been instantly filled, that there is no one active on the site and they disappear….
so I guess there is a tightrope to walk as to the best approach…
Other than don’t flop the cock out it not big it’s not clever… be a gentleman

It’s a balance, all the advice I can give will probably fall on deaf ears as some guys just don’t think. Just let people breath let them get adjusted to the site, from a site point of view, when lady accounts join, we want to see they are real and before they can add media, avatar they’re bombarded. Guys jumping all over them with a blank profile. If they are genuine then they’ll take the time to add to their profile but they have to work all of that out first and our welcome email is key for this.

Stew · 16 September 2021

A rehash of pretty much every other single guy thread, though a few more enlightened views on this one !
I’ve pretty much been here since Moses built the ark and I don’t remember a single approach from a single lady or a couple !
Its all down to that fine line for a SG will a (polite) approach be welcomed or will he be A, ignored or B, castigated! !
Having approached many in the past and been disappointed I’ve actually given up approaching and come on just to enjoy the ambiance!

Deleted member 11852 · 16 September 2021

Stew said:
A rehash of pretty much every other single guy thread, though a few more enlightened views on this one !
I’ve pretty much been here since Moses built the ark and I don’t remember a single approach from a single lady or a couple !
Its all down to that fine line for a SG will a (polite) approach be welcomed or will he be A, ignored or B, castigated! !
Having approached many in the past and been disappointed I’ve actually given up approaching and come on just to enjoy the ambiance!

You are a very special gent xxx M

Stew · 16 September 2021

Welshcouple59 said:
You are a very special gent xxx M

Thank you M, from you that’s a real compliment as one of the nicest couples in the scene today

Deleted member 11852 · 16 September 2021

Stew said:
Thank you M, from you that’s a real compliment as one of the nicest couples in the scene today

Awww thank you for the lovely compliment xxx M ??

Deleted member 20818 · 17 September 2021

Pearls said:
I’m going to give an example from a site/online point of view.

It’s tough for ladies online, if they are genuine and make the jump to join a site then for example this one, on joining they’ve received an email and welcome link saying hello and how the site works.
It’s not a huge message but a brief summary on how to get going.

Now before they’ve even began to look around, check the email, figure out where their profile is and get started, they’ve got Everyman and his dog all over her, jumping on her profile, in messages. She hasn’t even figured out what alerts are. For some and it has happened, they’re asking to be deleted. Guys have to stop thinking with what’s between their legs and think, stop and realise for one second and take a breath.

As every gent knows, we fully support guys but it’s tough when they behave so stupid. Just think to yourself, if you spotted a woman at a bar would you
1 go up to her and say hi, what you up to?
2 drop your trousers and flash your dick at her?
Is it ok to flash it online?

I will say that to women also.
Women behave just as bad but only because they can.
All the guys need to do is remember one thing. Human beings we all are.

Tinder and other online dating sites are so bad!!!
I do feel like men definitely respect you much more on here!!

Kwaka_Rider · 17 September 2021

On the original question, I think part of the reason that single guys get a bad rep are because of some who spoil things for others. A lot has been said already and I don't need to repeat, but one thing I have noticed, seen personally and read as big complaint is when guys are on a new single girl's profile within minutes of her joining. No waiting about to see if it is a genuine profile, on there in sometimes just a few minutes, private messages before any kind of real interaction and really no patience.

I have spoken to a few (one very recent) who became so uncomfortable that she was close to blocking. The sad thing was that her interaction was limited because she felt could not post anything without being commented on and messaged within minutes.

On a personal note, I very rarely message first, especially early on. I will wait, interact through the site and if an interest seems apparent then only is a PM considered. Partly because I don't want to be known as "one of those guys" I mentioned above but mainly because I feel it is more respectful. Nobody would be that way in a bar or club, so why do it online? Brave behind the keyboard.....

Pearls · 17 September 2021

Kwaka_Rider said:
On the original question, I think part of the reason that single guys get a bad rep are because of some who spoil things for others. A lot has been said already and I don't need to repeat, but one thing I have noticed, seen personally and read as big complaint is when guys are on a new single girl's profile within minutes of her joining. No waiting about to see if it is a genuine profile, on there in sometimes just a few minutes, private messages before any kind of real interaction and really no patience.

I have spoken to a few (one very recent) who became so uncomfortable that she was close to blocking. The sad thing was that her interaction was limited because she felt could not post anything without being commented on and messaged within minutes.

On a personal note, I very rarely message first, especially early on. I will wait, interact through the site and if an interest seems apparent then only is a PM considered. Partly because I don't want to be known as "one of those guys" I mentioned above but mainly because I feel it is more respectful. Nobody would be that way in a bar or club, so why do it online? Brave behind the keyboard.....

I can’t get you out of my inbox

Kwaka_Rider · 17 September 2021

Pearls said:
I can’t get you out of my inbox

We have known each other for 4 years.... that's not the first few minutes is it now.....hahaha

Skippy01 · 17 September 2021

Pearls said:
I can’t get you out of my inbox

I quite like Kwaks in my box x

MaleMan · 17 September 2021

Thank you all for your valuable insights

Pearls · 17 September 2021

Kwaka_Rider said:
We have known each other for 4 years.... that's not the first few minutes is it now.....hahaha

Erm you were in the first week ??

MaleMan · 17 September 2021

Pearls said:
Erm you were in the first week ??

??

Deleted member 20818 · 17 September 2021

To be honest I

MP386 said:
It is tough for single ladies to take the plunge and get involved …
as you know I’ve always left welcome messages,just something quite generic welcoming them to the site bigging up “the best swinging site around “ …. That’s all I do ,if I get a reply I do try to engage them in conversation and try to help if they have any problems..
There have been occasions I’ve chatted with a single women who think having joined because their box hasn’t been instantly filled, that there is no one active on the site and they disappear….
so I guess there is a tightrope to walk as to the best approach…
Other than don’t flop the cock out it not big it’s not clever… be a gentleman

i do agree with this.
Dammed if you do and don’t!!? After receiving over a 109 messages in just 24 hrs on another site, I was surprised not to have hardly any on here! But I am slowly getting to know people and it is actually quite nice to not feel overwhelmed

MaleMan · 17 September 2021

tink79 said:
To be honest I

i do agree with this.
Dammed if you do and don’t!!? After receiving over a 109 messages in just 24 hrs on another site, I was surprised not to have hardly any on here! But I am slowly getting to know people and it is actually quite nice to not feel overwhelmed

Give it a couple of years and I might pluck up to courage to converse ?

Deleted member 20818 · 17 September 2021

MaleMan said:
Give it a couple of years and I might pluck up to courage to converse ?

I will have plenty of experience by then!!??

MaleMan · 17 September 2021

tink79 said:
I will have plenty of experience by then!!??

In all likelihood I won't have accumulated much myself, ?

Deleted member 11852 · 17 September 2021

MaleMan said:
Give it a couple of years and I might pluck up to courage to converse ?

You crack me up lol xxx M

MaleMan · 17 September 2021

Welshcouple59 said:
You crack me up lol xxx M

MP386 · 17 September 2021

Everyone has their own way of doing things ,don’t think there is a right or wrong way I used to sit back and wait and see if anyone showed interest, but the advice I was given was to be more proactive as a single gent because likelihood no one will come to you .. but do think with your head and not your dick

Skippy01 · 17 September 2021

MP386 said:
Everyone has their own way of doing things ,don’t think there is a right or wrong way I used to sit back and wait and see if anyone showed interest, but the advice I was given was to be more proactive as a single gent because likelihood no one will come to you .. but do think with your head and not your dick

Good advice Romeo ? x

Pearls · 17 September 2021

MP386 said:
Everyone has their own way of doing things ,don’t think there is a right or wrong way I used to sit back and wait and see if anyone showed interest, but the advice I was given was to be more proactive as a single gent because likelihood no one will come to you .. but do think with your head and not your dick

There is a right way and a wrong way. Definitely, or you end up being that guy ?

Lips_Pearls · 17 September 2021

MP386 said:
What happened to your avatar MaleMan ?

Indeed. Man......tbh I preferred your last one. That's not what I meant either MaleMan - I mean .. you don't know what I mean, but I and some of us who deal with some of these things do.
The ones who message you with a pic of their cock, everything is cock orientated ergo = you get the picture.

Skippy01 said:
Man stands women up for a meet/ his loss,what a prick.He could have atleast let you know.
Woman stands man up/maybe she just wasn't feeling it.It's her right if she doesn't feel comfortable.She doesn't owe him an explanation,if he's done something to put her off.
Couple stands up a meet./commitments came up,they have a life maybe they don't have time to give you a reason.It's wrong to think their life should revolve around you.

Men messages a women to meet for sex in first message/ wrong!!
Women messages men for meet in first message/ she's horny and honest about what she wants.
Couple messages saturday night at 11.30pm "free now?"/ Standard,because life commitments mean they don't have time to plan
Men tells woman she's a fat slag for not replying/ c#$t
Woman calls another woman a bitch for not replying/ why didn't you reply with a no thankyou?
Couple calls you a bitch/ I bet it was the male half.It wasn't.

Man wants a woman who looks after herself/ narcissistic arsehole
Women wants a hunky man/ preferences
Couple want in shape people/ preferences

See, coming back to this, I see a completely new discussion to be had too. There's so much to pick out from that. x

Stew said:
Its all down to that fine line for a SG will a (polite) approach be welcomed or will he be A, ignored or B, castigated! !

You shouldn't have to have a "fine line" though. This is what really gets under my skin.

Me rn trying to work it out.

Why do single men get a bad reputation?

MP386

Lips_Pearls

Pearls

Stew

Deleted member 11852

Stew

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Kwaka_Rider

Pearls

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Skippy01

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MaleMan

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MaleMan

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MP386

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Pearls

Lips_Pearls

Why do single men get a bad reputation?

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