Would You?

[BlancoGoGo]

I've noticed here, one or two profiles that state that "the other half" "isn't interested" or "doesn't know"....
Would this bother you? Do you care about such things when it comes to play?
Then yesterday I stumbled on this.....

Live and Learn

 

[Deleted member 1030]

I've noticed here, one or two profiles that state that "the other half" "isn't interested" or "doesn't know"....
Would this bother you? Do you care about such things when it comes to play?
Then yesterday I stumbled on this.....

Live and Learn

That is a great piece of writing.
No. Neither of us would be interested in swinging if the other wasn't involved. As for playing with 'other halves'.... well, theoretically we wouldn't - purely because of the psychodrama
that might be involved - but there are possible exceptions, I suppose.

 

[paulnliz]

I would but trying to get partner to get in to it all

 

[Admin]

I've noticed here, one or two profiles that state that "the other half" "isn't interested" or "doesn't know"....
Would this bother you? Do you care about such things when it comes to play?
Then yesterday I stumbled on this.....

Live and Learn

Wow that is a serious story, as @meandlis also stated - excellent writing.
Makes you think.
It's been widely debated here and I will say there's mixed results but the majority swaying with - no.
The latter end of the piece is what people need to think about first..

 

[Sargantana]

What sort of relationship is it where you can't be honest with each other? Sorry, I think it shows a complete lack of respect.

 

[BlancoGoGo]

Indeed, but my point is, if you & your partner are being honest with each other, would it bother you if a playmate was honest with theirs or not? Is it their problem, not yours?

 

[Sargantana]

Call me old-fashioned but I think it's yours too. I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't knowingly do it to someone else.

 

[Deleted member 1402]

I'm guilty of knowingly playing with a married man. He was a FB for 2 years. I liked that I could keep him at arms length, knowing he wouldn't want a relationship with me. It worked. However, we were 99% soft swing, not that saying that makes any differences.
I know avoid married men or those with partners, mainly because you can't wear your fave perfume, or they have restricted times which limits meet opportunities. You can't leave any marks, no finger nail scratches or nibble marks etc etc.
If I'm in a club, especially in a couples room and it's a free for all soft swing orgy, I don't know who's married or not. It's not until afterwards and we chat/swap profile names, that you read the couple you've met are "FBs" and each have a different partner at home, but they look so loved up.
I've also played with several "single" ladies and it's not until we've had further meets and got to know each other, that they have confessed to having a hubby at home who haven't got a clue!
Only time I've felt real guilt like the lady in the blog, was when I met a guy in a hotel and he couldn't perform, so confessed to being married only for 6 months.

 

[BlancoGoGo]

Quite.....especially in a club environment, we don't have a Q & A beforehand.....so who knows? Although I/ we wouldn't knowingly play with someone who's partner was oblivious...maybe it's happened...

 

[Lips_Pearls]

That's some honesty there Miss VV x

Only time I've felt real guilt like the lady in the blog, was when I met a guy in a hotel and he couldn't perform, so confessed to being married only for 6 months.

Ouch!

Call me old-fashioned but I think it's yours too. I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't knowingly do it to someone else.

We agree, it's your responsibility too and are contributing to the break down which will no doubt come.

There's swinging and then there's affairs. This is simply an affair... That's the crux of it.

 

[Deleted member 3289]

Of course it happens -just like it does at work do's, on business trips and between friends. It's still cheating where somebody/ies is being used or betrayed. Too short and uncomplicated to call an affair.

Would I? If I'm totally honest (!), what would matter to me is that I'm not being deceived. Also as I'm likely to have sex with a woman who I have seemingly made a connection with, I'd be concerned about longer-term impact on her. My concern wrongly, rightly or conveniently wouldn't stretch to an unknown third party. Taking a higher moral ground, I also think it's demeaning to the swinging lifestyle which seems to involve an honesty and openness between partners that I'm still getting my head around!

Morality aside, if she was shit hot and jumping in to my bed...I'm not sure it would be my brain that would have the biggest say... Maybe it wouldn't be my questioning that would be the most probing...

A good thread @BlancoGoGo

 

[Neither_dark_or_handsome]

My motto is always' treat others how you want to be treated'. I wouldn't really be happy going with someone knowing They have a partner who is clueless as to what they get get up to, guilt would probably get to me. Although in the world of swinging world, nothing's ever black or white

 

[meet_the_fockers]

I'll come back to this..

 

[Pearls]

What a story, I found it very emotional to say the least, I have never understood dishonesty, I think I've mentioned this before, we know a swinging couple that have separate meets, happily married and the hubby went and had an affair with someone off FB, he had everything and lost the lot and is now living a vanilla life with his girlfriend. We have since heard he is trying to coax his GF into the swinging lifestyle....

 

[Deleted member 3411]

This is the ONE thing that has pleased both of us most, the openness and honesty. We have no intentions of doing anything without each other. The fact we don't need to hide is a liberation to both of us.

 

[Pearls]

This is the ONE thing that has pleased both of us most, the openness and honesty. We have no intentions of doing anything without each other. The fact we don't need to hide is a liberation to both of us.

Exactly

 

[Looby&Lew]

Call me old-fashioned but I think it's yours too. I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't knowingly do it to someone else.

That's not old fashioned that's honesty and respect for somebody you've not meet ie their partner well said.

 

[Admin]

That's not old fashioned that's honesty and respect for somebody you've not meet ie their partner well said.

Agreed Lew

 

[Lovernotfighter]

I'll break this down to two answer to two questions

Would you if they partner wasn't interested?
Yes but with caution and only if the partner knew, this isn't for any noble reasons I just don't want to get the blame if things turn bad between them basically I will not be "the other man, or the secret"

Would you if they partner didn't know?
That is easy one no I wouldn't and I'd advise no one else too either.

 

[Pearls]

The thing is and its simple.. Why do people have to lie for a start, we see it all the time and its shocking, even down to people who are not in relationships that have meets and lie about them to others.... Ffs get a grip, some people are just plain idiots if you ask me x

 

[Lovernotfighter]

The thing is and its simple.. Why do people have to lie for a start, we see it all the time and its shocking, even down to people who are not in relationships that have meets and lie about them to others.... Ffs get a grip, some people are just plain idiots if you ask me x

I get why people might tell a little white lie about what they are doing for example calling a meeting a date but anything more than that is beyond me to why people lie , never mind the whole safety thing since no one is going to come and save you if something goes wrong if no one knows where you are.

 

[Pearls]

I get why people might tell a little white lie about what they are doing for example calling a meeting a date but anything more than that is beyond me to why people lie , never mind the whole safety thing since no one is going to come and save you if something goes wrong if no one knows where you are.

Exactly, the stories I have heard are crazy, these people are just sad xx

 

[Looby&Lew]

For me it would break the trust if you knew and carried on then as the saying goes don't come crying when.

 

[mrclouse]

altough it can be a turnon doing something you know is wrong i would rather not ~

 

[Lips_Pearls]

It's amazing how many people in this lifestyle who play together as a couple, but are actually married each to other people and their partners have NO idea they're swingers!
Now that is asking for trouble and crossing some ethical and moral boundaries, wouldn't you say?