M
meet_the_fockers
Yes, agreed. It doesn't happen very often, to be fair, so don't have nightmares as they say on TVHowever, forewarned is forearmed - and we do keep an eye out for such cases
The Fake Dominant And Red Flags...
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B
Bump-n-Grind
This is where real time verification from credible sources is key.
As in all walks of life we refer to recommendations from trusted, credible sources whether it be a restaurant, a plumber or something within the lifestyle
As in all walks of life we refer to recommendations from trusted, credible sources whether it be a restaurant, a plumber or something within the lifestyle
What an interesting post. We do not think it applies to either of us two as a couple however it is a very informative piece and quite fascinating. When does domination become abuse? How fine a line is it?
As a rule of thumb we would say if it's consensual and all parties are happy then it's probably genuine but how to tell if someone's been manipulated and aren't happy? We don't know.
Would you interfere if you thought a Dom had gone too far with a Sub? If we came across anything that concerned us we would probably come to the SS community for advice.
Also pardon our ignorance if we have said something stupid regarding this subject, it's not something we're deeply knowledgeable in.
BNK XXX
As a rule of thumb we would say if it's consensual and all parties are happy then it's probably genuine but how to tell if someone's been manipulated and aren't happy? We don't know.
Would you interfere if you thought a Dom had gone too far with a Sub? If we came across anything that concerned us we would probably come to the SS community for advice.
Also pardon our ignorance if we have said something stupid regarding this subject, it's not something we're deeply knowledgeable in.
BNK XXX
M
meet_the_fockers
Not at all guys.. some great points.. i dont claim to know everything.. re swinging and even less re, BDSM... even though ive been around the block a fair few times.. so everyones opion to me, is of great interest.. monopolising.. and manipulate not two of my favorite words.. Fascinating stuff.. so much to learn. X
B
Bump-n-Grind
Which is great to know as such people could be just around the corner or even lying in wake amongst usYes, agreed. It doesn't happen very often, to be fair, so don't have nightmares as they say on TV
M
meet_the_fockers
Yes, agreed. It doesn't happen very often, to be fair, so don't have nightmares as they say on TV
This was exactly what I was trying to achieve in my ramblings. Not to be alarming atall but just make those with an interest aware that such things do happen on occasion. It is much easier to deal with if you have prior knowledge.
M
meet_the_fockers
Never, ever worry about saying something stupid. Communication and understanding is what it's all about throughout the whole scene both bdsm and swinging.
That question is really, very challenging to answer 'when does bdsm become abuse'? I'd argue that it centres around consent and how that consent was gained. Some people in the scene are actually into some pretty heavey stuff, needles, knives, breath play, non consent consent, rape role play, fire play.
Some very masochist subs will take all that you are prepared to give and often the Dominant is the limiting factor.
However if that consent is gained fairly, openly and honestly who are we to judge what someone else desires?
The problem is that the law doesn't agree with me and it actually doesn't take much atall to be accused of assaulting someone which can be seen as abuse and guess what... you can't consent to assault.
That is why I do everything I can to protect all involved, including myself. Usually this will involve the written word. Some things I keep absolutely private and most other things I try to gauge who else is present and then decide how far I'm prepared to go, all in agreement with all the others invovled of course
You just have to be cautious, smart,make sure concent is clear and you have proof of that is preferable, though it won't stand up in court it makes me feel a lot better...
Work and RL stopped play for a bit
We don't always get time to take an active role contributing but we're always lurking somewhere
xxxx
I have a very very good friend who is a dominant very respectful gent and as well as any written word of consent he also videos the whole conversation with all parties involved so there is a clear outline from the start of how far they the submissive would like to take their limits to ,
Doesn't surprise me atall. A reasonable option if its available. It would seem overkill to some but I quite like my liberty and freedom. Even though that would not protect him totally it would have to help in many ways.
M
meet_the_fockers
Ok I shall let it slide this time..Work and RL stopped play for a bit
We don't always get time to take an active role contributing but we're always lurking somewhere
You need to learn to do as you are told
Ok I shall let it slide this time..
You need to learn to do as you are told
Yes Miss, sorry Miss
lol
I was quite surprised to actually learn it was his submissive partner who asked for video to be used
M
meet_the_fockers
A submissive trying to protect their Dominant. Sounds like a great partnership
Some people would assume that it's the Dominant that's the big, over protective, control all before them. But often it's that loyal submissive that's the one jumping up and down getting all brave when they think their Dominant is threatened. Can be a pain in the arse sometimes lol
B
Bobbie
Excellent article, I would not have included knowing every detail of a Subs life, but enough to know
they are safe and what may be troubling them and fixable,
The whole Dom description has been generally exaggerated in the swinging media ( not here ) suggesting an instant label to obtain aggressive shags, when I was first asked out of the blue by a level headed not vulnerable woman
to be her Master it scared me and turned me on and continues to do so, but alas at this time I do not have a Sub.
Whether I am genuine or not I do not know, but I do know I do not work at it .
they are safe and what may be troubling them and fixable,
The whole Dom description has been generally exaggerated in the swinging media ( not here ) suggesting an instant label to obtain aggressive shags, when I was first asked out of the blue by a level headed not vulnerable woman
to be her Master it scared me and turned me on and continues to do so, but alas at this time I do not have a Sub.
Whether I am genuine or not I do not know, but I do know I do not work at it .
MOTM
subs are far from vulnerable and are very strong, most mistake this fact
B
Bobbie
I completely agree to subs I have known being far from vulnerable as I mentioned at the beginning of the post
and emphasized in my last posting.
I have met self titled subs who have required 24/7 attention who I considered vulnerable but in hindsite I think they may have been just vulnerable looking for a label. 24/7 is not for me.
and emphasized in my last posting.
I have met self titled subs who have required 24/7 attention who I considered vulnerable but in hindsite I think they may have been just vulnerable looking for a label. 24/7 is not for me.
MOTM
Sadly it takes a lot of trust from the sub, it's not something that can just happen.
B
Bobbie
Fortunately I do not need anything to just happen, vanilla for me is Ok, geographically nearer vanilla the purpose
of my being here would be nice buy anything with depth as in Sub/Dom is a different matter.
of my being here would be nice buy anything with depth as in Sub/Dom is a different matter.
MOTM