How Did You Become Involved In The Scene ???

[MP386]

Some of this has probably been told before...never having any luck meeting anyone ... due mainly a lack of confidence when it came to the ladies I have never had a serious relationship all my fault should have done something about it years and years ago I buried my head under a bonnet chasing a dream which cost a small fortune and never happened ... about 8 years ago generally around Christmas I always feel really lonely I tried and failed with dating sites ... over the next few years .... I then joined some fairly seedy instashag type site and had Zero success
By chance surfing the interweb I stumbled across a swinging site .... this one , curiosity lead me to join as it was the only way to see what it was about ... didn’t know what I was doing but at what was not a good time my Mum was coming to the end of her life ... I needed an escape...
I had been a member her for probably 6 months with out using the site ... I was about to delete the account when I decided to give it one more go .... I have been here 2 1/2 years now I think ...I have met some good people who accepted me and welcomed me into this community... and I feel comfortable being here ...yes sometimes it has been frustrating as a single Male but other times it’s been good ...

 

[DiamondJoe]

Someone I fucked once put me onto Fab

 

[Pearls]

Someone I fucked once put me onto Fab

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I was blackmailed.

 

[Deleted member 6485]

I was blackmailed.

 

[Deleted member 6127]

Okay...
Well, after leaving a very long marriage, and being single with an abundance of offspring, i concluded that my circumstances didn't really make me very good relationship material. So, as we all have needs, i decided to join a swingers site....and eventually got led to this one (thankfully)..and here i amx

And we are so glad you came xxxx :0)) T

 

[Pearls]

I was blackmailed.

By who?
Let me at em

 

[TherLegs]

Easy to answer, I wanted sex. T

 

[fincon]

I’m genuinely surprised I hadn’t participated in this thread.

And... now I don’t know whether to just second @TherLegs’s answer (which would be the flip option, true but trite in my case) or actually tell the story, which isn’t the longest story in the world, but isn’t a short one either. Decisions, decisions.

 

[Deleted member 1030]

I’m genuinely surprised I hadn’t participated in this thread.

And... now I don’t know whether to just second @TherLegs’s answer (which would be the flip option, true but trite in my case) or actually tell the story, which isn’t the longest story in the world, but isn’t a short one either. Decisions, decisions.

Tell the story. You know you want to

 

[fincon]

Tell the story. You know you want to

Heh, for once, that wasn’t a ‘g’wan g’wan g’wan’ hint.

 

[Deleted member 1030]

Heh, for once, that wasn’t a ‘g’wan g’wan g’wan’ hint.

 

[fincon]

OK, since the question has been asked. Apologies for the length, not an apology that’s often made in this scene...

Bit of personal stuff first, not directly related, but it will become so. Got married in 1994; had a healthy if fairly conventional sex life, entirely monogamous My ex-wife - a genuinely lovely lady I’m still in contact with - was very conventional where sex was concerned... we had a child in 1995. The pregnancy was rough, the delivery almost fatal to both of them. He fully recovered; she didn’t. For various health related reasons, not entirely limited to physical, the marriage was entirely celibate thereafter. We tried, we really did, but yeah, didn’t happen, and wasn’t ever going to happen again. Therapy, sexual therapy... we tried, to no avail. Yeah. It never happened. And my only sexual release was a wank before bed, mainly because it was... awkward if I got an election during the night.

Ok. So, four years into the above... I discovered online chat rooms. And intimate chat rooms. And then a friend from the US came over for a job interview (which didn’t lead to a job) but we ended up having sex. And the truly odd hing was that I felt no guilt whatsoever. Which weirded me out, to be honest. And I occasionally met up with women for sex I met though the chat rooms.

(Let’s be clear: whatever the reasons, I was just one more bastard playing away from home behind my wife’s back. So, no ‘perfectly understandable, mate’ or similar, eh?)

And then one of the people I was chatting with invited me to go to a club with friends. And I discovered Rios in London (didn’t like it) and then what became The Paradise Spa which I liked a lot and became a regular attendee. The marriage ended in 2005, I moved out (although we didn’t bother divorcing for ages).

And since then, I’ve hung around the scene on and off, belonged to various sites, visited clubs sometimes, and made some friendships which lasted when they or I left the scene.

And cutting a long story short, (too late) that’s how I entered the scene.

And bringing it up to date, haven’t really been in the scene for some time; the past few years, I’ve been on the periphery, enjoying enormously that other people are having a blast, while not actually doing anything myself beyond... well, this.

EDIT TO ADD: This could come over as ‘ah, poor me’. It’s not intended as such, so don’t take it that way... it’s how things are, and I’m used to them... and it only bites occasionally.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

OK, since the question has been asked. Apologies for the length, not an apology that’s often made in this scene...

Bit of personal stuff first, not directly related, but it will become so. Got married in 1994; had a healthy if fairly conventional sex life, entirely monogamous My ex-wife - a genuinely lovely lady I’m still in contact with - was very conventional where sex was concerned... we had a child in 1995. The pregnancy was rough, the delivery almost fatal to both of them. He fully recovered; she didn’t. For various health related reasons, not entirely limited to physical, the marriage was entirely celibate thereafter. We tried, we really did, but yeah, didn’t happen, and wasn’t ever going to happen again. Therapy, sexual therapy... we tried, to no avail. Yeah. It never happened. And my only sexual release was a wank before bed, mainly because it was... awkward if I got an election during the night.

Ok. So, four years into the above... I discovered online chat rooms. And intimate chat rooms. And then a friend from the US came over for a job interview (which didn’t lead to a job) but we ended up having sex. And the truly odd hing was that I felt no guilt whatsoever. Which weirded me out, to be honest. And I occasionally met up with women for sex I met though the chat rooms.

(Let’s be clear: whatever the reasons, I was just one more bastard playing away from home behind my wife’s back. So, no ‘perfectly understandable, mate’ or similar, eh?)

And then one of the people I was chatting with invited me to go to a club with friends. And I discovered Rios in London (didn’t like it) and then what became The Paradise Spa which I liked a lot and became a regular attendee. The marriage ended in 2005, I moved out (although we didn’t bother divorcing for ages).

And since then, I’ve hung around the scene on and off, belonged to various sites, visited clubs sometimes, and made some friendships which lasted when they or I left the scene.

And cutting a long story short, (too late) that’s how I entered the scene.

And bringing it up to date, haven’t really been in the scene for some time; the past few years, I’ve been on the periphery, enjoying enormously that other people are having a blast, while not actually doing anything myself beyond... well, this.

EDIT TO ADD: This could come over as ‘ah, poor me’. It’s not intended as such, so don’t take it that way... it’s how things are, and I’m used to them... and it only bites occasionally.

Superb and honest, open reply.
I’ve said it before and will say it again; you’re part of the furniture here and where it leads - who knows. But being here and being involved, chatting and getting to know others, is what you’re a part of. The rest will follow and fall into place.

 

[fincon]

Thanks. I’ve tried to be honest, whenever I can, and not mislead by omission...

The rest will follow and fall into place

As for that, well, I’ve never tried to predict one way or the other; but I’m a huge believer in extrapolating from past experiences. And my experiences the past few years have suggested... well, let’s just say that I expect the ‘dry patch’ the past few years to continue. Heh.

 

[Deleted member 1030]

OK, since the question has been asked. Apologies for the length, not an apology that’s often made in this scene...

Bit of personal stuff first, not directly related, but it will become so. Got married in 1994; had a healthy if fairly conventional sex life, entirely monogamous My ex-wife - a genuinely lovely lady I’m still in contact with - was very conventional where sex was concerned... we had a child in 1995. The pregnancy was rough, the delivery almost fatal to both of them. He fully recovered; she didn’t. For various health related reasons, not entirely limited to physical, the marriage was entirely celibate thereafter. We tried, we really did, but yeah, didn’t happen, and wasn’t ever going to happen again. Therapy, sexual therapy... we tried, to no avail. Yeah. It never happened. And my only sexual release was a wank before bed, mainly because it was... awkward if I got an election during the night.

Ok. So, four years into the above... I discovered online chat rooms. And intimate chat rooms. And then a friend from the US came over for a job interview (which didn’t lead to a job) but we ended up having sex. And the truly odd hing was that I felt no guilt whatsoever. Which weirded me out, to be honest. And I occasionally met up with women for sex I met though the chat rooms.

(Let’s be clear: whatever the reasons, I was just one more bastard playing away from home behind my wife’s back. So, no ‘perfectly understandable, mate’ or similar, eh?)

And then one of the people I was chatting with invited me to go to a club with friends. And I discovered Rios in London (didn’t like it) and then what became The Paradise Spa which I liked a lot and became a regular attendee. The marriage ended in 2005, I moved out (although we didn’t bother divorcing for ages).

And since then, I’ve hung around the scene on and off, belonged to various sites, visited clubs sometimes, and made some friendships which lasted when they or I left the scene.

And cutting a long story short, (too late) that’s how I entered the scene.

And bringing it up to date, haven’t really been in the scene for some time; the past few years, I’ve been on the periphery, enjoying enormously that other people are having a blast, while not actually doing anything myself beyond... well, this.

EDIT TO ADD: This could come over as ‘ah, poor me’. It’s not intended as such, so don’t take it that way... it’s how things are, and I’m used to them... and it only bites occasionally.

Great post

Paradise Spa? The one in Dagenham?

 

[fincon]

Paradise Spa? The one in Dagenham?

That’s the one.

Was The Blue Lagoon when I started going there, but soon became The Paradise Spa.

 

[Deleted member 1030]

That’s the one.

Was The Blue Lagoon when I started going there, but soon became The Paradise Spa.

Used to be our 'local'. Closed now

 

[fincon]

Used to be our 'local'. Closed now

Is it? Ah, that saddens me. Nice people who ran it, lovely people who went (kind of wonder whether we met there, now?) and had the best, and best enforced, rules of any place I’ve been.

The first time someone wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, they were out. No ifs, no buts. And pretty much every woman who ever said ‘thanks, but no’ to a nervous newbie* did it with class, and understanding.

*including me, when I first started going there.

 

[Ahabs]

This is inspiring

 

[Stew]

When it comes down to it it’s all about a healthy attraction to the company of women , that sounds simple yes but the back story isn’t, some know it , many don’t so in the spirit of openness and honesty here goes!
Been married for 40 years we have a good marriage , nice house, car, good standard of living, enjoy holidays , work well together as a team! But one thing is missing, sex, my wife hit the change 20 years ago and both the love and sex buttons got turned off, sadly whilst the love bit came back slowly albeit it purely as brother and sister the sex never resumed, yes various methods of revival have been tried but to no avail
So that’s the couple story , my story is more complicated having been in the Ds lifestyle since a tender age, this side of me has always coexisted with married life never shared always my guilty secret, having a job with the ability to travel nationwide and nights away in hotels as our love life waned the urges to explore returned ! So a few dalliances happenned up until retiring about 8 years ago.
Then a few years back I had two major operations within a couple of months and laid in the hospital bed and decided you know what celibacy sucks, so guess what ! Here I am, not looking for the next Mrs S but just trying to enjoy my life.
Please don’t presume to judge me i have glossed over the bad sometimes really bad parts of the last 20 years it’s simple if you don’t like what I do simply pass me by ! Yes my opportunities to meet are limited but hey that’s life, or at least my life!
I have met a few very kind wonderful understanding people on here and hope to continue doing so for many years to come, if you have read this far well done and thankyou xx

 

[Trixi_13]

Well quite simple. I was horny and needed relief haha so took myself off to chams and the rest is history

 

[Deleted member 3411]

Well quite simple. I was horny and needed relief haha so took myself off to chams and the rest is history

Interesting that you thought of going to a club to Get Your Rocks Off, why didn't you just go out clubbing (night clubs) to see who might be interesting and interested? How did you get to hear about swinging clubs?

 

[Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane]

Now that is a long story.

Quick precis?

OK.

The best thing we've ever done!

 

[Deleted member 3411]

Now that is a long story.

Quick precis?

OK.

The best thing we've ever done!

Long stories are best told face to face. I love hearing the how's n whys (Ste) as sometimes it's come about by a strange set of happenstance and surprise. One lady I spoke to at a club had never even thought of this life until a woman she knew from the school run told her what she did over coffee. For her the biggest shock was just how up for it she realised she was.