Going public

[Leonidas480]

I just realised I haven't posted a thread before...well here's one question / topic for discussion that I couldn't see mentioned here already.

I'm curious to know about if / when people 'go public' to the non-swinging world about being swinger(s). Especially people who are relatively new to swinging (e.g. in their first year).

Are you happy for everyone to know?

Are you more like a secret agent living a double life (swinging and non-swinging)?
(This is where I am right now)

Or, are you somewhere in between (e.g. some people outside of swinging know but it's not full public knowledge).

For me, I've become comfortable with many aspects of swinging since I've started, but relating this to people outside of the community is not something I want to do yet.

I'm interested to get the opinions of everyone, both couples and singles. Is this different for couples than for singles?

Has anyone got any interesting or funny stories about this?!

 

[Deleted member 1030]

Great first thread

 

[Deleted member 1030]

A select few of our 'nilla friends and some family members are vaguely aware of what we do - others think that we really like going to 'Northern Soul weekenders' Our swinging activities are not exactly a secret, more of a case of nobody else's business.

My mum knows - when we were getting ready to visit a club, one night, she said to Lis "If you're going to swap him, at least get an upgraded model!"

 

[Pearls]

A select few of our 'nilla friends and some family members are vaguely aware of what we do - others think that we really like going to 'Northern Soul weekenders' Our swinging activities are not exactly a secret, more of a case of nobody else's business.

My mum knows - when we were getting ready to visit a club, one night, she said to Lis "If you're going to swap him, at least get an upgraded model!"

 

[Leonidas480]

A select few of our 'nilla friends and some family members are vaguely aware of what we do - others think that we really like going to 'Northern Soul weekenders' Our swinging activities are not exactly a secret, more of a case of nobody else's business.

My mum knows - when we were getting ready to visit a club, one night, she said to Lis "If you're going to swap him, at least get an upgraded model!"

Very interesting to know! And I guess you have both been swinging for a while...

 

[Deleted member 1030]

I guess you have both been swinging for a while...

Er, about 6 years, I think :hmm:

 

[Looby&Lew]

We discuss our extra curricular activities with no one. We believe what we do is no one else's business but our own. People can be very judgemental and I do not feel that I want to be judged by anyone. Therefore we keep the two aspects separate and feel no reason to mix the two. There is of course always that possibility that you may meet someone you know and If that happens then we'll cross thst bridge when we get to it.

 

[Leonidas480]

We discuss our extra curricular activities with no one. We believe what we do is no one else's business but our own. People can be very judgemental and I do not feel that I want to be judged by anyone. Therefore we keep the two aspects separate and feel no reason to mix the two. There is of course always that possibility that you may meet someone you know and If that happens then we'll cross thst bridge when we get to it.

Totally agree, this is exactly how I feel about it right now. Great to know other people are thinking the same.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Be careful. Be sensitive.

I've told two people; one thought it hilarious, the other was in tears.

 

[Pearls]

Our closest friends know, we don't have any family apart from my mam and she would never understand it..
We did go to a party once, had a tap on the shoulder to find our financial adviser saying "oh what you doing here, fancy a threesome"

 

[Carpediem2008]

we are only just starting out in the life style but have told a close friend who was crazy supportive as our journey started with mrs being curious for years but as a whole a lot of our friends would never understand and probably judge us because of that we accept the swinging life style isn't for everyone but after 18 years together we are completely at ease with each other so much so this type of activity doesn't cause any trust issues ect.

 

[Vanezza]

The only persons that know what we do are my ex, Neils bro and my cousin they are all open-minded people, my mum would find it disgusting and others would not get it either and tbh I have no reason to think they have a right to know.

Vxxx

 

[Deleted member 9925]

We have some friends that know, some that suspect and others we think are clueless

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Well with our Family being miles away and most of our friends also it is dead easy for us to keep our fun life a secret and long shall it stay that way - When we have folks to our house the locals just take it that friends travel to see us so stay over.

 

[Vanezza]

Well with our Family being miles away and most of our friends also it is dead easy for us to keep our fun life a secret and long shall it stay that way - When we have folks to our house the locals just take it that friends travel to see us so stay over.

you have curtain twitchers too too many curtain twitchers here

Vxxx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Nope no curtain twitchers we know of but only 7 houses so you cant help but notice strangers or strange cars parked on driveways

 

[Deleted member 9925]

We have pensioners as neighbors pretty sure they know but to be honest we don't really care and they'd have to admit snooping around to say anything

 

[Tiger]

My best friend knows!

It’s not a secret as such but in the same token I don’t broadcast it either, having said that, I haven’t been in the situation were I’ve had to talk about it yet!

Tiger xx

 

[fincon]

Even when I was active in the scene, I discussed it with no-one who wasn’t also in the scene.

And can’t ever imagine that changing even now when I’m here more... vicariously.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Indeed, always a tricky one this. Some people are happy and intrigued by it and others get funny about it.

 

[opiumpair]

With us it's a case of chinese whispers...people think they know,but nobody mentions it,to our face anyway

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

We assume nobody knows as we live in a small place and its the sort of place that nobody knows anybody as we all come out the house get in our cars back down the drive and go work in the city then do the reverse later in the day

 

[opiumpair]

We assume nobody knows as we live in a small place and its the sort of place that nobody knows anybody as we all come out the house get in our cars back down the drive and go work in the city then do the reverse later in the day

only trouble with our village...even the cats know everyone's secrets...so we never go local...like my husband say's never take a dump on your own doorstep

 

[Lips_Pearls]

never take a dump on your own doorstep

Same thoughts here. Never shit on your own doorstep and that's something I've lived by, my entire life. x

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Just flicking through threads and thinking on this, it never ceases to amaze me how many people are proud to brag about being in this lifestyle to other people. Family, friends, press etc.. they're happy to announce it and show it off to people as if it's some sort of badge.
Why would anyone do that?