Is It Normal To Wobble?

[Jaynerobert]

Evening all,

Yesterday I said on a reply to a post that we would feel able to ask anything so here goes ...

Last week we were both so excited about being here (and still are) and our brains and bodies were moving on at a great pace thinking about the real possibilities of the experiences that might be to come.

If I’m honest I was ‘behind’ R on the thought of actually playing with another couple for some time but suddenly I was totally up for it and firmly in the driving seat, revving up through the gears. Last week I would have zoomed up the motorway straight to Popping-Our-Swinging-Cherry Central (wherever that may have been).

Over the last few days we’ve both had wobbles about it. We’ve talked about insecurities and worries and we are back on track but at a slower pace and perhaps planning to enjoy the scenery, discovered and yet to be discovered, for a while en route.

I think this is where this site wins. The social element seems to be just as important as the swinging and so then maybe it’s not so daunting for first timers?

So ... is having these wobbles ‘normal’ or is there no normal? For those of you who’ve been here or part of the scene for a while is this something that you get over or get used to or does it rear its head on and off over time?

Happy for anyone to PM if it’s easier to talk privately about this.

J x

 

[Therapon]

So ... is having these wobbles ‘normal’ or is there no normal? For those of you who’ve been here or part of the scene for a while is this something that you get over or get used to or does it rear its head on and off over time?

J x

Yes it's normal especially if you haven't done this before or it's someone new. We (Therlegs) still have, as you say, wobbles and I'd say most others have some to, it's natural to be slightly nervous, worries about how things will go, how you will be, will you enjoy it.
All I can add is that those worries disappear once you meet and don't forget those you are meeting will probably be just as concerned even if they don't outwardly show it. And remember if you feel uncomfortable just tell them them No and/or you can always leave.
So don't think it's just you

Feel free to PM us if you want.

 

[GeoffRy]

Ditto. Yep the unsureness still rears its head from time to time. But honesty and openness negates a lot of worries. I think we all comprehensive with new encounters. Just take things slow and enjoy every minute. Xx G

 

[Deleted member 1463]

Hi guys.

We feel like newbies too here but have had some time away... (Kids and that)
I think there is no normal and we're all bound to feel insecure at times...
In fact I (Shell) was the one wobbling over our first meet because I just wanted it all to be easy and natural.. But actually messaging people would scare me a little (Ade would message and I'd be there or he'd fill me in.. But then I'd get so frustrated that it was all single guys or fake couples (this was different sites a few years back)... Don't be put off though.. We much prefer finding friends who then become playmates as opposed to last minute meets.
We found taking it slow best, we'd spent ages talking about our fantasies, what we enjoy most in sex, what our boundaries are...
We've been married several years and it's taken this long to find the right person to join us. There was no surprises when it come down to it.. No jealousy, it was natural and really really hot. (Ridiculously hot ) We love the social side of meeting like minded people and hope you both enjoy your new journey.

 

[StokeChoke]

100 percent its normal, everyone has a wobble at some point and some do often. It’s all part of the journey x

 

[Stew]

Evening all,

Yesterday I said on a reply to a post that we would feel able to ask anything so here goes ...

Last week we were both so excited about being here (and still are) and our brains and bodies were moving on at a great pace thinking about the real possibilities of the experiences that might be to come.

If I’m honest I was ‘behind’ R on the thought of actually playing with another couple for some time but suddenly I was totally up for it and firmly in the driving seat, revving up through the gears. Last week I would have zoomed up the motorway straight to Popping-Our-Swinging-Cherry Central (wherever that may have been).

Over the last few days we’ve both had wobbles about it. We’ve talked about insecurities and worries and we are back on track but at a slower pace and perhaps planning to enjoy the scenery, discovered and yet to be discovered, for a while en route.

I think this is where this site wins. The social element seems to be just as important as the swinging and so then maybe it’s not so daunting for first timers?

So ... is having these wobbles ‘normal’ or is there no normal? For those of you who’ve been here or part of the scene for a while is this something that you get over or get used to or does it rear its head on and off over time?

Happy for anyone to PM if it’s easier to talk privately about this.

J x

Firstly great post and well done !
Wobbles are normal , it’s ok to have butterflies ! Danger is if these butterflies become ruddy great bats and the nerves kick in !
1, ask yourself if you are prepared for what may happen
2, it makes sense to have a safe word if one or both of you are not comfortable and also a word for hey it feels ok I can do this !
3, this is a grown up world and there’s no shame in saying “ sorry I can’t go through with this”
4, we are all here for the same thing , it’s not just a chat with random strangers, guess what it’s about sex !! Shock horror lol
5, once you’ve got over the collywobbles, and are happy with the chat ! For gods sake have fun !!

Hope that helps x

 

[fincon]

Evening all,

Yesterday I said on a reply to a post that we would feel able to ask anything so here goes ...

Last week we were both so excited about being here (and still are) and our brains and bodies were moving on at a great pace thinking about the real possibilities of the experiences that might be to come.

If I’m honest I was ‘behind’ R on the thought of actually playing with another couple for some time but suddenly I was totally up for it and firmly in the driving seat, revving up through the gears. Last week I would have zoomed up the motorway straight to Popping-Our-Swinging-Cherry Central (wherever that may have been).

Over the last few days we’ve both had wobbles about it. We’ve talked about insecurities and worries and we are back on track but at a slower pace and perhaps planning to enjoy the scenery, discovered and yet to be discovered, for a while en route.

I think this is where this site wins. The social element seems to be just as important as the swinging and so then maybe it’s not so daunting for first timers?

So ... is having these wobbles ‘normal’ or is there no normal? For those of you who’ve been here or part of the scene for a while is this something that you get over or get used to or does it rear its head on and off over time?

Happy for anyone to PM if it’s easier to talk privately about this.

J x

Not only is it perfectly “normal” to have a wobble, i’m always fairly surprised whenever anyone says they’ve never had one.

Usual caveats about “it’s been a long time but…“, but the first time I had a threesome with a couple I met via this scene, I had a wobble while we were having sex.

Classic spit roast, was ‘in the moment’, when suddenly it was like I was outside myself, watching what was occurring… felt very strange and was a bit ‘what the hell am I doing here?‘

The woman realised, instantly, pulled back and said “it’s okay, sit back, relax, come back in when you’re ready“

And a few minutes later, maybe 5, when she reached out to me, I rejoined them.

But sure, wobbles before, during and after are completely normal and nothing to be even mildly concerned about, let alone seriously worried about.

 

[MP386]

Evening all,

Yesterday I said on a reply to a post that we would feel able to ask anything so here goes ...

Last week we were both so excited about being here (and still are) and our brains and bodies were moving on at a great pace thinking about the real possibilities of the experiences that might be to come.

If I’m honest I was ‘behind’ R on the thought of actually playing with another couple for some time but suddenly I was totally up for it and firmly in the driving seat, revving up through the gears. Last week I would have zoomed up the motorway straight to Popping-Our-Swinging-Cherry Central (wherever that may have been).

Over the last few days we’ve both had wobbles about it. We’ve talked about insecurities and worries and we are back on track but at a slower pace and perhaps planning to enjoy the scenery, discovered and yet to be discovered, for a while en route.

I think this is where this site wins. The social element seems to be just as important as the swinging and so then maybe it’s not so daunting for first timers?

So ... is having these wobbles ‘normal’ or is there no normal? For those of you who’ve been here or part of the scene for a while is this something that you get over or get used to or does it rear its head on and off over time?

Happy for anyone to PM if it’s easier to talk privately about this.

J x

It’s perfectly normal to get over excited at the beginning, imagining what could happen, then the odd doubt creeps in even for single bloke ,believe it or not ,but take it slow Rome wasn’t built in a day , you have your other half to talk it through with so your both happy with the situation ...... I just talk to myself :stress:

 

[Deleted member 6485]

I just talk to myself :stress:

Dittoxx

 

[MP386]

Dittoxx

You can always talk to me

 

[Stew]

Dittoxx

Who said that !! Xx

 

[Pearls]

Guys,
We’ve always said to ourselves if it happens then it happens, if it doesn’t then the fantasy will always be enough, even now after 15yrs the chats of what could happen is still exciting and fun.

 

[GeoffRy]

Guys,
We’ve always said to ourselves if it happens then it happens, if it doesn’t then the fantasy will always be enough, even now after 15yrs the chats of what could happen is still exciting and fun.

Totally agree, just the thought of things potentially happening is exciting all by itself. And when things do happen. Woohoo. But if they don't oh well still exciting. Xx G

 

[BiLouJ]

Great question and some lovely reassuring replies.

xx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Wobbles are perfectly normal and for us as a couple fairly common place, we all suffer with nerves and the enormity of what we are about or have just done, I'd be slightly cautious if someone said " I never wobble" !

On our last "liason" I (P) had a nervous minute where my old chap buggered off for 5 minutes midway through but we were all adult and admitted we all had nerves which affected us, it didn't ruin the evening one bit, my point being even those who've walked the path for a little while still get nervous, it's perfectly normal.

Enjoy the scenery, chat (publicly or privately) with people who interest you both and see where your journey takes you, it's a marathon not a sprint

Good luck both and cuddos for being open and honest, that takes guts xxx

Always here for a chat

Paul and Lou x

 

[Tiger]

Yes it’s perfectly normal to wobble it’s part of what makes us human!

Here is a nifty little trick I’ve learnt, whenever you have doubts and nerves, rather than excepting the fact that they are nerves, say to yourself “I’m not nervous, I’m excited” because when you come to the conclusion that the same feelings and emotions that come with nerves are exactly the same as excitement! it’s just your perception that changes!
so, in future say to yourself I’m excited!

It works for me!

Tiger xx

 

[Deleted member 6127]

Great replies above not much than its to enjoy and if you don’t your shouldn’t do it.

Nerves, excitement of the unknown is such a turn on.

Take your time and you’ll know when it’s right for you both.

Have fun xxx :0)) T