A Curious Question For The Couples On Here

[The-A-Team]

Who Decides the nitty gritty essentials and do’s and dont’s for possible FIRST meets with other “Couples or singles” is it a joint thing, or does just one of you take the lead on dealing with, and sorting things on behalf of you both.


From My point of view, I have to be honest, I hate the lead up to full couple meets, or first threesum meets with single guys.

I hated all the rigmarole of sorting out the idiots from the small few single guys that were genuine, and talking to wishful guys that had un-interested wives but were posing as full eager couples.

I hated arranging the venue, I hated getting occasional lewd comments and trying to explain it’s not just about the sex. I love to chat occasionally, and I’m still a very serious flirt, but then felt stupid when the guys on other sites, started getting too forward, and pushing things, to the point where I lost interest a lot, and we happily stuck to our existing couple’s/singles friends base to avoid the New Meets situation, however, If and when we eventually got to any planned meet I was fine, and very excited, but the lead up to a meet can be seriously, very non inspiring sometimes.

Also on the previous sites we have been on, (And there have been a few) I’ve cringed at looking at guy’s willys as profile pics, and having to ask them if they have any facial pics, as that’s actually what appeals to me, more than the bits they are so proud of, and it’s how it’s actually nice for some sort of attraction to help with a full blown meet, IF it should ever develop (Don’t get me wrong, I like to know what’s in store for me lol, but when I’m ready to look !!,)

So we’ve sorted it out, Mr A Team and myself talked for hours about this, and how to achieve what we are both looking for, when meeting single guys or girls or couples Etc, and we have now been doing this with great success for a number of months.

Either after I’ve been chatting, with members, or an interest is shown for a threesum, Mr A Team steps in and sorts out the men from the boys for me, he is very efficient and sometimes ruthless, (But he Knows my tastes very well, Thank goodness!) I don’t really want to know anything more until it’s maybe at a possible meet point, then I will look at any pics, and agree or not to move on to a possible meet. (I have to also say, he has done well so far !!! ):bukkake:

And for couples, again Mr A Team does most of the groundwork, but I’m a lot more involved early on, especially once we actually decide on a couple we both like.:doggystyle::doggystyle:

And as for the ladies, I have to say, I leave it to him as he has got impeccable taste, (Well he Married me Lol ) but it’s a bonus if I like them too Lol !

We absolutely love this site, and it has been an absolute breath of fresh Air, all the idiots are pre removed, and I’m starting to feel confident chatting again, and there is even some flirting going on again, which is a real turn on for me, and It’s really nice to have politeness showing through.


So come on tell all, once you've both decided , is it joint efforts, or does one of you do the pre meet groundwork for you both.

Regards, Mrs A Team xxx

 

[Deleted member 4481]

(Mrs) What a brilliant question! And do you know, I'd actually thought you were a single guy, having not nosed through your profile!
Because we're a new couple, we've been finding our feet in terms of what each of us is happy with on here. One big learning curve has been for OH in deciding he's not happy for me to engage in conversation with single gents. Our mistake, because it sounded quite fun when we set up our profile, but the reality that came with it did not suit us! What we have discovered is that chatting to couples when both parties are involved feels much safer. Because we're a couple that play together/stay together, we want this very much to be a shared experience, so knowing that we're chatting to couples... possible with a view to meeting couples on both of our terms as a shared agreement is the way forward for us... xx

 

[NigelandJulie]

For us we both look at the profiles of the people concerned and discuss it between us, what we like / dislike about them, what sort of things and how they reply to the forums, helped us make our mind up about someone / couple who told us one thing but had posted something completely different, we are both meeting them so both of us need to be happy with them.

 

[The-A-Team]

(Mrs) What a brilliant question! And do you know, I'd actually thought you were a single guy, having not nosed through your profile!
Because we're a new couple, we've been finding our feet in terms of what each of us is happy with on here. One big learning curve has been for OH in deciding he's not happy for me to engage in conversation with single gents. Our mistake, because it sounded quite fun when we set up our profile, but the reality that came with it did not suit us! What we have discovered is that chatting to couples when both parties are involved feels much safer. Because we're a couple that play together/stay together, we want this very much to be a shared experience, so knowing that we're chatting to couples... possible with a view to meeting couples on both of our terms as a shared agreement is the way forward for us... xx

Definitely a couple lol, and never play as anything else xx

 

[XX]

I (Neil) do most of the chatting and forum posting as I've got more time on my hands than Clare but if there is any interest shown in us then it is immediately a joint discussion with both of us having an equal input.

It might be seen as a bit 'lazy' but we hardly ever initiate contact via pm's or private chat's, preferring to let others contact us if they are interested, not sure why as it's not a lack of confidence or a fear of getting 'knocked-back' it's just how things have gone since we signed up to our first site a couple of years ago.

We both quite often go into chat of an evening so that people can get to know a bit about both of our personalities.

As for 'logistics' I'm usually the one that's left to make arrangements but with input from Clare.

To be honest, I think we've had most success by getting along to socials rather than purely online as there's no substitute for meeting people and chatting in person.

N

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Its normally Steve on here but if I find someone or couple of interest then it very much becomes a joint effort. That's until the the actual time and date is being set then I (Steve) am not allowed to do that as I once made what almost turned out to be a disaster plans when I got the day wrong.

 

[The-A-Team]

I (Steve) am not allowed to do that as I once made what almost turned out to be a disaster plans when I got the day wrong.

Oooooops Lol x

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Lol we turned up a day early for a party. We had been told to just walk in the house as back door would be open so we did only to see whole family sat watching telly all cosy like. Fortunately I spotted the kids before anyone spotted us so backed back out quickly before anyone clocked us. Rang them from the car to say sorry and the lady was like OMG we thought we heard something in the kitchen and looked but found nothing. We went to the party the next day and used it as a great ice breaker. Lol

 

[NigelandJulie]

Its normally Steve on here but if I find someone or couple of interest then it very much becomes a joint effort. That's until the the actual time and date is being set then I (Steve) am not allowed to do that as I once made what almost turned out to be a disaster plans when I got the day wrong.

Need to pay more attention

 

[Brumcouple2013]

(Mr Brum) I normally do the leg work, by looking at profile and pictures of couples, as I Know Mrs Brum's taste in men and woman. Before I exchange messages I will show the profile to Mrs Brum. Once I have exchanged a few messages to check the profile is genuine I will sit down with Mrs Brum and update her on messages etc. She then will chat via message with the couple and arrange a phone call with the female only. Then between us we arrange a social meet unless it's st a club

 

[logistical_nightmares]

I (f) tend to do the lurking and posting, he tends to lurk in the background, mainly because he's busy working. We know each others tastes and if I do find a couple that I know we like the look of will fill him in on them. But meets are definitely a joint decision and as has been stated above will not take one for the team

 

[The-A-Team]

I (f) tend to do the lurking and posting, he tends to lurk in the background, mainly because he's busy working. We know each others tastes and if I do find a couple that I know we like the look of will fill him in on them. But meets are definitely a joint decision and as has been stated above will not take one for the team

I think to be honest, that taking one for the team, is a non entity for most couples, and with the amount of dedicated swingers out there now, it should never be an issue xx

 

[logistical_nightmares]

I think to be honest, that taking one for the team, is a non entity for most couples, and with the amount of dedicated swingers out there now, it should never be an issue xx

I've never really understood the idea. If I don't find a person, attractive or lacking personality, I'm sure they could tell with my demeanour

 

[NigelandJulie]

Taking one for the team is for many couples a non-starter but my experience, which is quite extensive, would lead me to believe that as many do it as don't.

There are also couples where the female plays with single guys but the male partner is not allowed to play with females, something I find very strange, anything I am allowed to do, Sasha is allowed to do, for example I meet single females on my own so Sasha is quite free to meet single males on her own, for the most part she chooses not to do this but that is her choice, this weekend she will be going to a club on her own (I have a meet with a single female friend), so what she does there is up to her, we both know our rules and we both trust each other to stick by them.

We have also noticed this on some couples profiles where the male can shag your missus but you're not aloud to shag his ? wtf is that about, surely if it's OK for one it's gotta be OK for the other, either they want full swop or soft swing

 

[logistical_nightmares]

We have also noticed this on some couples profiles where the male can shag your missus but you're not aloud to shag his ? wtf is that about, surely if it's OK for one it's gotta be OK for the other, either they want full swop or soft swing

Even with soft swing we have noticed that some women will just lie back and think of England and do nothing with the other guy, whilst the other male expects all from the other woman, it seems to be about the guy

 

[NigelandJulie]

We operate a "like for like" policy during meets, whatever I can do to the woman the other guy can do to Sasha and vice versa, of course all four people's boundaries are respected during that time but if something is outside the boundaries of any one person then none of us do it.

The exception to this is when we meet couples where the male partner likes to watch rather than take part, we know a few couples in that category and we don't mind because we know the guy is getting all the pleasure he wants by watching the 3 of us play together, somewhat different to the couples we know where one partner would like to take part but is NOT allowed to, in those cases we don't take part either it is all about everyone being comfortable with what they are doing and everyone having fun in a way that suits them. consenting adults doing whatever they want to do WITH their partners consent, to us that is the whole concept of swinging.

Boom... exactly how we feel

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Yep we keep everything equal and if its good for 1 then its good for all

 

[Singer-swinger]

This thread has made for some very Interesting reading. Thank you all.. More food for thought.. ☺

 

[peakcouple]

Geoff usually finds people we might want too swing with, then we both have look at their profiles and messages and discuss whether we want to take things further. We ask to see their face photos (we're not shy about ours) and say we'd like to talk to them to fix up a meet. Rose always talks to the woman and we arrange a meet on neutral ground, such as a pub or a swinger-club. It hasn't happened often, but now and again we don't want to take things further when we have met, and it has happened to us too. We don't want to be in a situation where people arrive at our home, we dislike them and then have to ask them to leave; and of course they may not like us either.

When we've actually met, then we either go home and play or arrange a later meeting. Before the clothes come off we discuss boundaries (ours are in another thread here). Then we go to the bedroom, swap partners, get nude and play! Sometimes a new couple will stay overnight, and occasionally we have slept swapped in different rooms. When they've gone we decide if we want them to become regular friends or if it was just a one-off.