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A joke.............

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by RedHotFox, 15 August 2015.

  1. When is a man the most intelligent? before, during or after sex?
     
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  2. trick question! Lol Is he having sex with a man or woman? xx
     
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  3. it can be either sex...........lol
     
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  4. If its with a woman, during...as he's plugged into a genius!
     
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  5. keep trying @Lovers_For_Life lol
     
  6. During - as he is connected to someone much more intelligent........!!!
     
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  7. ur both right........well done :) its during sex because the man is plugged into the knowledge source ha :doggystyle:
     
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  8. A woman is after as shes downloaded all the data! x
     
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  9. brilliant lol
     
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  10. Pearls

    Pearls Site Owner Staff Admin

    Well they do need to recharge the brain so this would be during for sure xx:love:
     
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  11. kopinov

    kopinov PV

    Definitely a trick question - I'd say the clue is "the most", suggesting he's having sex with at least two others with whom he's being compared, otherwise it would have read simply "most" (his cleverness alone) or "the more" (comparing with only one other) - though I suppose he could be the source of the others' cleverness if they were in or pegging his smart arse... but I'm saying nowt!
    :p
     
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  12. kopinov

    kopinov PV

    ... pay no heed to me - I'm just drivelling because I'm in a cafe (just guzzled a huge chocolate orange muffin) and am being 'checked out' by a threesome of MILFs... one of whom has jusp snapped me with her phone and is texting like mad... c'mon, own up!
     
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  13. Pearls

    Pearls Site Owner Staff Admin

    Haha tart :whistle::D:p
     
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  14. kopinov

    kopinov PV

    'fraid so... :oops:
     
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  15. WHY DID THE MAN CROSS THE ROAD?
    He heard the chicken was a slut.

    WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
    They don't have time.

    WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
    They won't stop and ask for directions.

    WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
    Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
    They are intended for children, but the men usually end up playing with them.

    WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LAY ON THEIR BACKS?
    Because their balls fall over their ass hole and they vapour lock.

    WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE?
    It's sex with someone they love.

    WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
    So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
     
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  16. Pearls

    Pearls Site Owner Staff Admin

  17. A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
     
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  18. Pearls

    Pearls Site Owner Staff Admin

    :collar:
     
  19. The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

    A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
     
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  20. here's one but remember all you blondie's its a joke....


    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
     
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  21. A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
     
  22. A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the
    gorgeous woman next to him started
    to breastfeed her baby.

    The baby wouldn't take it, so she said,
    "Come on,
    eat it all up or ... I'll have
    to give it to this nice man here."
    Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding,
    so she said,
    "Come on, honey.
    Take it or I'll give it to this nice
    man here."
    A few minutes later, the anxious man
    blurted out,
    "Come on, kid.
    Make up your mind!
    I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
     
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  23. Nearly shagged a Ladyboy last night. Picked him up in a night club.
    He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a
    woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his
    apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid
    movement…! That's when I thought “****ing wait a minute…”
     
    • Like Like x 1
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