T
The_Bibas
We are both very guilty of having affairs.. Stephen especially..
That is how we met..
But never since we have been together.. 11years loyal..
Lol
We are both very guilty of having affairs.. Stephen especially..Sad how much of it goes on, we've seen it many times x
OK yes I have slept with a shit load of men since.. But it's with consent..We are both very guilty of having affairs.. Stephen especially..
That is how we met..
But never since we have been together.. 11years loyal..
Lol
We've had requests for home meets from swinger couples who are married to other people and have always said 'no thanks' - not because of any moral objections as we both had affairs when married to our exes, but because of the potential for things to go wrong. The thought of the other man or woman turning up here, or finding our address or number and harassing us or citing us in any divorce are things we could do without! We wouldn't have any objection to playing with such couples in clubs in fact we probably have at some time. You just don't know.
At the start of our relationship we agreed not to have hidden affairs and to discuss things if we were tempted. So far it hasn't happened; swinging gives us all we need, but R and the man from our couple best friends have always had a bit of a thing going. They always have great sex and are very close, it's more than just swinging but theres no deceit. They don't want to meet up separately or take things further, but their closeness is one of the reasons we bareback with them and always sleep swapped when they come to stay or holiday together. His wife and I aren't bothered - I get to bareback and sleep with her too, obviously. She is very uninhibited and is a good friend but we don't have the same connection as R and her husband.
Define "affair", first off.Have you had one?
Do you know of anyone that has?
If so what was the outcome and feeling about it.
Agreed.For me, it comes down to choice.... You see the person cheating will justify their actions for a number of reasons, normally because they are unfulfilled at home yadayada... and I think, well okay, but maybe your partner also feels unfulfilled, so by keeping up the pretence that YOU are faithful, they also remain faithful and don't stray. But the cheater is straying, and by being dishonest they are denying their partner choice, they are "cake and eat it types", they also think that because they can't get fulfilled at home its okay to lie to the person they are in a relationship with.... this is usually followed by a "I am honest" on their profile....
.... now ask yourself, are they honest? Would you trust them? Most people claim to still love the person that they cheat on, but because of a lack of fulfilment they would like to go elsewhere for jollies.... so let me get this straight.... you are going to be honest with me, a person you do not know, but lie to someone you claim to love (whilst denying them the choice you are exercising).... so you always play protected? (etc. etc.)
Cheaters on these type of sites often don't understand why many people won't meet them.... read the above, and ask yourself, would you meet someone who denies choice to a person they "still love" whilst also lying to that person...
... I wouldn't but I have unintentionally.... Let me tell you, having a man sobbing his heart out at your kitchen table because the woman he is so in love with felt compelled to lie to us both so she could get her fanny filled is a most unpleasant event...
Lol. I want to disagree with it, instinctively it feels wrong.Agreed.
Nothing else to say to that. x
I agree. But not sure what else to say. I should use our personal account here.Lol. I want to disagree with it, instinctively it feels wrong.
I agree. But not sure what else to say. I should use our personal account here.
Hear you totally.
You are. And you shall not be exposed. Even if inadvertently- it would be removed. xI'm allowed to be righteous, right up until I get exposed!
It's well, yes, maybe, in an ideal world shorn of extenuating circumstance, human frailties, jealousy and cowardice maybe we'd all learn to conduct our 'affairs' in a completely honest and open fashion.I agree. But not sure what else to say. I should use our personal account here.
Hear you totally.
Agreed. With that I will say no more from here, but agree of course.It's well, yes, maybe, in an ideal world shorn of extenuating circumstance, human frailties, jealousy and cowardice maybe we'd all learn to conduct our 'affairs' in a completely honest and open fashion.
But humans aren't neat and tidy, and we get things wrong.
I suppose what I'm driving at is that I feel this set of ideals is unrealistic and doesn't take account of the honest truth that people are want to lie. For a multitude of reasons, not all bad. It's human nature. Just like people getting jealous, no matter how above board it is. The theory is too idealistic for me. It's a bit like the risks people can take with their sexual health whilst being all chaste and "Oh, I'd never do that!" in public. I assume nothing.
And well, I, for one, get a little kick when I pitch my tent on someone else's lawn for a while.
Don't think any of this makes me particularly bad, per se, so I'll just sit here and eat my cake noisily. Or pretend I'm Cassandra. Or something.
It's well, yes, maybe, in an ideal world shorn of extenuating circumstance, human frailties, jealousy and cowardice maybe we'd all learn to conduct our 'affairs' in a completely honest and open fashion.
But humans aren't neat and tidy, and we get things wrong.
I suppose what I'm driving at is that I feel this set of ideals is unrealistic and doesn't take account of the honest truth that people are want to lie. For a multitude of reasons, not all bad. It's human nature. Just like people getting jealous, no matter how above board it is. The theory is too idealistic for me. It's a bit like the risks people can take with their sexual health whilst being all chaste and "Oh, I'd never do that!" in public. I assume nothing.
And well, I, for one, get a little kick when I pitch my tent on someone else's lawn for a while.
Don't think any of this makes me particularly bad, per se, so I'll just sit here and eat my cake noisily. Or pretend I'm Cassandra. Or something.
As you say, "you probably know me better than anyone; yet do not know me at all" but it doesn't stop me from theorising.I live in a world where love does not exist Joe, what would I know? I see most things as functional, necessary. However my choices seldom restrict others. There are some things that make me smile, but ultimately you probably know me better than anyone; yet do not know me at all. For someone to deny choice is the greatest of crimes, it is control, and whilst one could argue that the one denying is "controlling" their own existence they are also controlling the boundaries of another life by being dishonest. But this is my mind, and I respect yours.
Ofcourse this wa an affair .. before we got involved in this lifestyle ... and yes the guy wa goldfinger .. and he turned out to be my soul mate .. so I was just lucky .. 30 years later .. here we are xxxxxxAffairs ... yes I have had one affair. I was married and happily. Two kids and a husband who loved me and I him. Then..... long story .... I got emotionally involved with a guy... not physically.. emotionally .
That's where the trouble lies in getting emotionally involved with the another person.. they get in your head .. you think about them all the time .. and that ache inside to see them .. even before any actual contact.
Sex is immaterial .. it's the passion .. oh yes I know ... and the price is a dear one ...
so my advice would be don't go there .... don't put yourself in the position of getting involved ... unless you are prepared to take on the circumstances .
Had a similar situation ourselves and it almost brought the entire show to a halt for us....we had a couple who we used to meet and they started to get a bit emotionally involved with us and started making comments like how come you met XYZ when we could have met you. We backed off from them as it made us uncomfortable. When we did that they went ballistic and cut us off totally. We think we had a lucky escape as the reaction we got told us everything.
We don't have a problem meeting the same couple multiple times but it should never involve emotion as that's massively dangerous in our minds. have to say it put us off meeting anyone after that for a while.. Twice must really make you wonder whats going on so we feel for youHad a similar situation ourselves and it almost brought the entire show to a halt for us....
Sadly it happened twice!
Agreed, I personally think that yes - you may get some feelings here and there - or emotions of sorts, but 'those' types of feelings are dangerous. They can be devastating as you know.We don't have a problem meeting the same couple multiple times but it should never involve emotion as that's massively dangerous in our minds. have to say it put us off meeting anyone after that for a while.. Twice must really make you wonder whats going on so we feel for you
Wow sounds like you dodged them big time. Hope they are not still looking for other victims within the swinging world as they sound nut jobsAgreed, I personally think that yes - you may get some feelings here and there - or emotions of sorts, but 'those' types of feelings are dangerous. They can be devastating as you know.
Yes twice, did write about it here previously.
One was a single lady, spun out of control... sending messages about love and such.. (some I can't go into) and the other was a lady from a couple... total obsessive behaviour and it got extremely serious - to the point that hubby thought we (or me mostly) were playing games with her, when in fact it was what she was telling him... She was obsessed and telling him all sorts of tosh.
Even resorted to death threats to myself and the family!
Craziness.
They are! All active elsewhere...long since banned from here.Wow sounds like you dodged them big time. Hope they are not still looking for other victims within the swinging world as they sound nut jobs
Hahaha shall keep our eyes open for them when we are surfing on other sites lolThey are! All active elsewhere...long since banned from here.
Will drop you their names when I have chance, at least you will know who to look out for.Hahaha shall keep our eyes open for them when we are surfing on other sites lol
Thanks we will be sure to keep well clear. Got the feeling most of the folks on the other site are crackpots but its a risk we have take if we want to meet others.Will drop you their names when I have chance, at least you will know who to look out for.
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