We like to make friends, so its more than just sex for us. Some prefer to do the "panda"* thing, and if they are happy with that, that's fine. (* PANDA... eats shoots and leaves lol!)
How things go after a play session depends on who, and where lol!
At a party, we go back downstairs, grab a drink, have a chat, maybe swap numbers and then grab a new victim(s). Next day we like to touch base, say thanks etc.
After a social (organised), we hit our hotel room, have fun, and then if they want to stay we sort out a bedspace for them before hitting the hay. Single guys usually prefer to head home, if its a single fem we will drop them back if they want to go home, or buy them brekkie if they stay.
If we are at theirs, we head home, that's just our preference.
Between the three types (single fems, guys, or cpls) we do consider that single fems do deserve being treated more sensitively, to avoid that feeling that the OP describes, of her feeling "used", after all, it's supposed to be fun for everyone, plus if you do all feel that a meet went well, there's a good chance that there will be a "return match" on the cards lol!
With all, we like to touch base the day after, say thanks etc.