Baldrick's wisdom.........

  • Please check your spam/junk folder after registration, for your email. Thank you
Welcome to our Swinging Community
Join now to meet other like-minded swingers.
Sign up
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,115
120,960

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,328
37,235
51
Ok so this is all about health and safety of the spider world...:eek:

So I was made to believe that these little darlings can crawl about simply looking for a target, usually our limbs.. Now I have no problem with the little critters as long as my limbs are off the ground when some jolly great big hairy beast comes hunting which is what we all do. :D

Now this is where the situation takes a turn for the worse scenario o_O
There I am painting my fence, enjoying the sun when something catches my eye, crawling in front of me I spot a quite innocent little black and white striped spider with 8 thick black legs and a red striped head.. I'm calm but think to myself this dude looks like an everton mint and he's quite pretty as spiders could be.. :eek:

So I make the decision to let the little man just walk on by, rather than give him a headache.
The next thing I see him on the next fence panel, Wow how quick is he I thought to myself, but this black and white minstrel had something else than the power to be a quick little bugger on his 8 legs, as I watched... HE JUMPED from the panel to the post, (a good 5inches) :noidy:

Now this leaves me not only shocked and stunned at the thought of a jumping spider that was only about 10inches from my face but I feel let down that I was unaware of such creatures in this country.:cautious:

I leapt out a loud scream (as anyone would) and the next second I heard the howl of my neighbour screaming kill the Basstid quick (y) So without a second to spare I quickly grabbed my painting brush, Looked straight into his red angry eyes and took a leap of faith and swooped in with the brush and paint, shaking at the thought he could potentially leap at any time but I managed to out wit the git and splattered him in Ronseal....:tiphat:

So guys and girls be aware, they are out there and ready to pounce. Stay safe and always carry a brush. Just in case you face the same fate.:love:
:D
Didn't you know they can leap? hmmm
Best not tell you that some can fly by spraying a web to catch the wind o_O

N xxx
 
D

Deleted member 6485

Ok so this is all about health and safety of the spider world...:eek:

So I was made to believe that these little darlings can crawl about simply looking for a target, usually our limbs.. Now I have no problem with the little critters as long as my limbs are off the ground when some jolly great big hairy beast comes hunting which is what we all do. :D

Now this is where the situation takes a turn for the worse scenario o_O
There I am painting my fence, enjoying the sun when something catches my eye, crawling in front of me I spot a quite innocent little black and white striped spider with 8 thick black legs and a red striped head.. I'm calm but think to myself this dude looks like an everton mint and he's quite pretty as spiders could be.. :eek:

So I make the decision to let the little man just walk on by, rather than give him a headache.
The next thing I see him on the next fence panel, Wow how quick is he I thought to myself, but this black and white minstrel had something else than the power to be a quick little bugger on his 8 legs, as I watched... HE JUMPED from the panel to the post, (a good 5inches) :noidy:

Now this leaves me not only shocked and stunned at the thought of a jumping spider that was only about 10inches from my face but I feel let down that I was unaware of such creatures in this country.:cautious:

I leapt out a loud scream (as anyone would) and the next second I heard the howl of my neighbour screaming kill the Basstid quick (y) So without a second to spare I quickly grabbed my painting brush, Looked straight into his red angry eyes and took a leap of faith and swooped in with the brush and paint, shaking at the thought he could potentially leap at any time but I managed to out wit the git and splattered him in Ronseal....:tiphat:

So guys and girls be aware, they are out there and ready to pounce. Stay safe and always carry a brush. Just in case you face the same fate.:love:
:D
Remind me never to jump 5" infront of you if im gonna get splattered in creosoteo_Ox
 
24 November 2015
20,110
56,051
You won't be saying that when a jumper pounces on you :eek:
He does quite frequently but as for spiders they generally steer clear of humans unless they feel threatened then they secrete a liquid into their legs causing them to jump away not towards you
 
  • Like
Reactions: TherLegs
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,115
120,960
He does quite frequently but as for spiders they generally steer clear of humans unless they feel threatened then they secrete a liquid into their legs causing them to jump away not towards you
Well this little critter wasn't scared of me when he glared his evil eyes at me :eek:
 
5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett
Ok so this is all about health and safety of the spider world...:eek:

So I was made to believe that these little darlings can crawl about simply looking for a target, usually our limbs.. Now I have no problem with the little critters as long as my limbs are off the ground when some jolly great big hairy beast comes hunting which is what we all do. :D

Now this is where the situation takes a turn for the worse scenario o_O
There I am painting my fence, enjoying the sun when something catches my eye, crawling in front of me I spot a quite innocent little black and white striped spider with 8 thick black legs and a red striped head.. I'm calm but think to myself this dude looks like an everton mint and he's quite pretty as spiders could be.. :eek:

So I make the decision to let the little man just walk on by, rather than give him a headache.
The next thing I see him on the next fence panel, Wow how quick is he I thought to myself, but this black and white minstrel had something else than the power to be a quick little bugger on his 8 legs, as I watched... HE JUMPED from the panel to the post, (a good 5inches) :noidy:

Now this leaves me not only shocked and stunned at the thought of a jumping spider that was only about 10inches from my face but I feel let down that I was unaware of such creatures in this country.:cautious:

I leapt out a loud scream (as anyone would) and the next second I heard the howl of my neighbour screaming kill the Basstid quick (y) So without a second to spare I quickly grabbed my painting brush, Looked straight into his red angry eyes and took a leap of faith and swooped in with the brush and paint, shaking at the thought he could potentially leap at any time but I managed to out wit the git and splattered him in Ronseal....:tiphat:

So guys and girls be aware, they are out there and ready to pounce. Stay safe and always carry a brush. Just in case you face the same fate.:love:
:D

Awwwwww poor Mr. SkinnyLegs :(. He's just chilling out, working on his jumping skills for the Spider Olympics and along comes some crazy Welsh Lady to murder him in the most calculated sadistic way ever.......
Death by Ronseal....... it never said that on the tin.

Since you're a fan of painting spiders @Pearls I found this for you. Get your brush ready ;)

1389122551_poking_a_spider_nest.gif

Let's just hope the spiders don't come looking for revenge :whistle::D

B x
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,115
120,960
Awwwwww poor Mr. SkinnyLegs :(. He's just chilling out, working on his jumping skills for the Spider Olympics and along comes some crazy Welsh Lady to murder him in the most calculated sadistic way ever.......
Death by Ronseal....... it never said that on the tin.

Since you're a fan of painting spiders @Pearls I found this for you. Get your brush ready ;)

View attachment 54779

Let's just hope the spiders don't come looking for revenge :whistle::D

B x
Heart attack stuff that, I need a bigger tin :eek:
 
D

Deleted member 1030

The female housefly usually mates only once and stores the sperm for later use. She lays batches of about 100 eggs on decaying organic matter such as food waste, carrion, or faeces. These soon hatch into legless, white larvae, maggots. After 2 to 5 days of development, these metamorphose into reddish-brown pupae, about 8 mm (0.3 in) long. Adult flies normally live for 2 to 4 weeks, but can hibernate during the winter. The adults feed on a variety of liquid or semiliquid substances, as well as solid materials which have been softened by their saliva. They can carry pathogens on their bodies and in their faeces, contaminate food, and contribute to the transfer of food-borne illnesses, while, in numbers, they can be physically annoying.

Houseflies are vile, filthy little bastards.

Spiders kill houseflies.

Spiders rock.