Just catching up during a break, am only on P1 but have to agree with this. We’ve seen so so many times; people’s relationships end in tears as they thought this was a quick fix to everything going on for them. XYou certainly can't fix a marriage/relationship by bringing someone else into the bedroom, this happens a lot and ends in tears.
I feel like I have to reply to this as it has got me quite angry. I feel you are judging people without even knowing them. We are a very happily married couple and have been together for 22yrs. We have a fantastic sex life and have nothing missing in our marriage. Swinging to us is getting to know other people socially and if anything else comes from that it is all extra fun. Having said that being on this site with these amazing people has driven my confidence (M) to a new limit and I thank them for that. We could walk away now and have no regrets about the time we have spent here. Before you make comments like this you should be able to walk in other peoples shoes. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it’s how I feel MIf your so happy in marriage why you bring some one else in ??
(Let’s be clear: whatever the reasons, I was just one more bastard playing away from home behind my wife’s back. So, no ‘perfectly understandable, mate’ or similar, eh?)
Good honest post hunGood reasons for cheating?
There aren’t any. There are justifications, there are excuses, there are even ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’ reasons, but it’s impossible to claim that deceit and flat out lies are objectively ‘good’.
I’ve not hidden - I’ve gone out of my way not to - that after several years in an entirely celibate marriage I discovered this scene, and a series of events led me to being a full participator in it before the marriage formally ended.
BUT, as I said in that post/thread:
There aren’t any good reasons to cheat; there are just reasons.
Open and honest x MGood reasons for cheating?
There aren’t any. There are justifications, there are excuses, there are even ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’ reasons, but it’s impossible to claim that deceit and flat out lies are objectively ‘good’.
I’ve not hidden - I’ve gone out of my way not to - that after several years in an entirely celibate marriage I discovered this scene, and a series of events led me to being a full participator in it before the marriage formally ended.
BUT, as I said in that post/thread:
There aren’t any good reasons to cheat; there are just reasons.
This is about cheating in the scene and has nothing to do with individual circumstances,Well I have to say this post has disturbed me more than I thought it would !
And after reading the responses I am now going to answer differently to how I would have answered this morning !
Yes I’m married and I’ve never ever tried to hide the fact either on my first time here or this time !
No there is no excuse for cheating and one day I’m sure I will live to regret it , but whilst there are no excuses there are mitigating circumstances that come into play !
The day to day life of my marriage is absolutely fine most of the time , the odd spat and argument but nothing major !
However having read most of the posts on the subject today I think it’s time to (quite sadly) hand in my SS membership card, this is no reflection on anyone in the membership at all, I have made some fabulous friends ! Xx
Seems a bit extreme @Stew - You don't have to agree with everyone's opinion to be a member on here. Hendrix knows I don't.I think it’s time to (quite sadly) hand in my SS membership card
Indeed; never suggested otherwise. As you’ll have even both from my post, and the link therein, I was in a situation where if I wanted to have sex, or even talk about sex openly, I ‘had to’ play away from home.there are mitigating circumstances that come into play !
We have total admiration for your openness on this private time in your life. Thank you for sharing with us and we are just so made up you are getting through it and have come back. Hopefully your trust in people can be built upon in every aspect of your life. M and W xxI’ve been on the receiving end of a cheat within the swinging world.
My ex partner was playing away from home before he became emotionally and physically abusive to me.
He was caught, he had registered on various dating sites and was meeting women, chatting online to them. He even ‘liked’ the profile of one of my friends which is ultimately how he ended up being caught.
He would ****** people from here without my knowledge too.
I was mortified when he was arrested before we split. The charges were horrific.
We split a few weeks later with him facing even more charges for what he had then done to me.
Cheating does happen in any lifestyle. Why it would happen in the swinging world is beyond me as I think I was probably more open to him having fun than me.
I just hope that no one ever has to go through what I have been through this past year.
Cheating hurts. It stays with people for a long long time. It affects the ability to trust again. It ruins lives xx
Thank you both.We have total admiration for your openness on this private time in your life. Thank you for sharing with us and we are just so made up you are getting through it and have come back. Hopefully your trust in people can be built upon in every aspect of your life. M and W xx
Did you read any messages or was he deleting them?I’ve been on the receiving end of a cheat within the swinging world.
My ex partner was playing away from home before he became emotionally and physically abusive to me.
He was caught, he had registered on various dating sites and was meeting women, chatting online to them. He even ‘liked’ the profile of one of my friends which is ultimately how he ended up being caught.
He would ****** people from here without my knowledge too.
I was mortified when he was arrested before we split. The charges were horrific.
We split a few weeks later with him facing even more charges for what he had then done to me.
Cheating does happen in any lifestyle. Why it would happen in the swinging world is beyond me as I think I was probably more open to him having fun than me.
I just hope that no one ever has to go through what I have been through this past year.
Cheating hurts. It stays with people for a long long time. It affects the ability to trust again. It ruins lives xx
You guys are honest with each other though and are open with what you do.I wasnt intending to reply to this thread again, but I find myself grinding my teeth so feel obliged to get a few things straight.
The word "cheating" implies dishonesty within the context of the contract (legal or implied) between two individuals. The contract has nothing to do with "society" or it's religion-based mores, and none of society's "approved" sexual activity occurs in public anyway.
Our own relationship is honest and open, and our contract requires neither exclusivity nor ownership. We do not cheat, by any interpretation of either the letter or spirit.
And while were at it; we aren't "missing anything at home" either. We enjoy variety and the occasional change of scene, and like to learn new things. Think of it like this; are you unfaithful to your home if you go abroad on holiday once on a while?
Now we quite understand that there are plenty of real cheats out there, but we'd really prefer it if people would refrain from tarring us with that brush!
I agree.The word "cheating" implies dishonesty within the context of the contract (legal or implied) between two individuals.
Completely agree.Our own relationship is honest and open, and our contract requires neither exclusivity nor ownership.
We do not cheat, by any interpretation of either the letter or spirit.
I read the messages, he wasn’t clever enough to hide things that well. But even when faced with the evidence would deny and make out it wasn’t him.Did you read any messages or was he deleting them?
You’re better off without the cheating scumbag though
Of course he would deny it. You are better off hun. XI read the messages, he wasn’t clever enough to hide things that well. But even when faced with the evidence would deny and make out it wasn’t him.
100% better off without him in my life. I finally feel as though I am free x
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