How Did You Settle Your Nerves?

[Charlia]

Evening folks.

So how do you show nerves? I'm naturally shy, and I find it really difficult to ask someone to join me for a play session, to the point I will go without.

I also get so wound up I end up cancelling any meets I've agreed to.

So my question is; what do you do to get around the jitters? I find it easier if my partner/s and I have agreed to a level of D/s play. It helps ground me a lot. I'm not sure if that's something that's easy to add in a swinging environment. My s-side is rather on the submissive scale, so I'm always worried about agreeing to that with casual play partner/s

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

TBH its the build up we love all that what if stuff is great we love it. We find toe dipping harder than diving in.

 

[Pearls]

I'm very shy.. It causes a huge problem

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

I'm very shy.. It causes a huge problem

Can i smell something

 

[Pearls]

Can i smell something

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Is it cow poo

 

[Pearls]

Is it cow poo

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Far too much of a gent to say the next bit sorry

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

I don't think any of us really settle our nerves until ,we ,you ,I have chatted in person and broken the ice so to speak , then its a case of deep breaths and try not to over think the ifs could ofs and maybes

 

[Charlia]

I'm very shy.. It causes a huge problem

.... Oh I can so tell xx

 

[Lovernotfighter]

I don't settle my nerves until their gone naturally which normally then triggers an oh my god i'm not nervous anymore which in turn creates a whole new set of nervousness

 

[Wkd n whisky]

I get nervous but also excited at the same time xx

 

[DiamondJoe]

Years of practice?

I was a very shy and introverted child but I did a number of things as a teenagers/young adult that, when looked back on, I thought, Well if I could do that last time, then this situation now is perfectly doable...

 

[Therapon]

Like most of us probably do, you think it through, you plan this, you'll say that but things don't normally follow the plan so ...... Take a deep breath and go for it.

 

[The-Gent]

I'm very shy.. It causes a huge problem

 

[The-Gent]

I think the best way is to dive straight in cause when you start thinking the nerves kick in. :hmm:

 

[DiamondJoe]

I think the best way is to dive straight in cause when you start thinking the nerves kick in. :hmm:

Yes, this.

As I think I've said before, I was about 25 when something clicked - I realised that chances are the other person is just as concerned for their performance, looks, &c so if you try to forget about yourself and instead concentrate on making the other person relaxed, everything flows much better.

 

[Deleted member 3657]

For myself I don't get nervous as such, more of just an excitement. I wouldn't say I've always been like that but just what I've had to go through in my life has helped me to deal with any nerves. I've got to a place where nerves don't come in to it, I just think 'oh well, here goes another experience'
However, we are all different and deal with things totally differently. I had a meet once where she was physically shaking before going in to the club. Bit of an indication in hindsight but she only calmed down after leaving.
There's different ways of dealing with nerves that will work for some but not others. Only you can work out what works for you and maybe reading some the posts may help.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Evening folks.

So how do you show nerves? I'm naturally shy, and I find it really difficult to ask someone to join me for a play session, to the point I will go without.

I also get so wound up I end up cancelling any meets I've agreed to.

So my question is; what do you do to get around the jitters? I find it easier if my partner/s and I have agreed to a level of D/s play. It helps ground me a lot. I'm not sure if that's something that's easy to add in a swinging environment. My s-side is rather on the submissive scale, so I'm always worried about agreeing to that with casual play partner/s

I keep seeing this and want to simply post:

Diazepam

But that would just be childish

 

[Leonidas480]

Some great posts here I also get a bit nervous, mainly going to a venue / event or meeting people for the first time. I guess diving straight in is the way I get over it. Meeting some friendly people definitely helps. It's the ice-breaking that I find most difficult.

 

[Admin]

Some great posts here I also get a bit nervous, mainly going to a venue / event or meeting people for the first time. I guess diving straight in is the way I get over it. Meeting some friendly people definitely helps. It's the ice-breaking that I find most difficult.

Well, we have a big event next weekend at the VA (Vanilla Alternative) where you can have a test of the waters and see if it's for you or not. We have one spot for a single gent left on the Friday and you'd be most welcome to attend.

 

[Leonidas480]

Thanks Admin, that's a very kind offer but I'm out of the country next weekend

 

[Admin]

Thanks Admin, that's a very kind offer but I'm out of the country next weekend

Ahhh a shame. Maybe next time.

 

[Leonidas480]

Ahhh a shame. Maybe next time.

I will keep an eye on here for future events

 

[Admin]

I will keep an eye on here for future events

Okay well, without derailing we have - Xtasia in May, VA FoF in August and Swansea (social event only) in October.