How Do I Say What I Want?

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29 December 2016
70
1,560
City
Norwich
Ok. So I have been to the VA a few times now and absolutely love it. However I have only really 'played' with James. Now, I know what I would like, but without wearing a tee shirt printed with a long list of all the naughty delights I'd like to partake in, how do I get it out there to people what I/we really want. Yes we start talking to people but how is the best way to get it across without seeming overly confident or pushy. Do you just blurt it out? "We'd like a MMF threesome please". Hope this makes sense. Thanks o_Oxxx
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Ok. So I have been to the VA a few times now and absolutely love it. However I have only really 'played' with James. Now, I know what I would like, but without wearing a tee shirt printed with a long list of all the naughty delights I'd like to partake in, how do I get it out there to people what I/we really want. Yes we start talking to people but how is the best way to get it across without seeming overly confident or pushy. Do you just blurt it out? "We'd like a MMF threesome please". Hope this makes sense. Thanks o_Oxxx
How about..
You drop into the conversation... what is it you are looking for?
They will usually reply with the answer followed by and what about you? What are you looking for/ interested in... ;) x
 

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,409
47,437
You could make sure your profile here is current. As for meeting people at clubs I guess you need to go with the flow of the conversation, you could simply say you are looking for new experiences without stating what they are. Im sure anyone interested would then ask what it is you are loooking for and you take it from there.
 
25 July 2016
634
3,663
57
City
Tamworth
Hi.

We saw you in the jacuzzi late in the evening and did think about approaching you for a chat. But you both looked like you wanted you own space.
We understand your frustrations as we feel the same and always say what if as we drive home. Did it after VA on Saturday. One thing we always agree on is that it's the ladies that call the shots. If Mrs Brum sees a lady she likes then it's very rare I will say no, but if I see a lady I like it's down to Mrs Brum if she agrees. Same with couples, but it will always be Mrs Brum who decides if and when to approach those we like. Once that's done we both will discuss boundaries with those we like
 
28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Definitely agree that in our experience play is usually led by the ladies.
There is no easy answer to this one you just have to jump in with both feet and do as suggested above.
'So when you play what do you guys look for, how do you like to play' with a naughty glint. It is usually always followed with 'what about you guys' and then you just be honest.
You did alright when we were sitting at the table together, you were both talkative, friendly and easy to engage in conversation. That's all its about. The rest you just have to be brave about and ask, which will give you the chance to say what you want lol.
Everyone is there for the same thing you just have to get used to that bit that's all. You're doing great in our opinion.

Xx
 
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27 May 2016
347
3,494
City
Grimsby
As long as you can handle 'no thank you' then why not just blurt it out? Life is short...

We were approached, whilst in the play areas, at the SS birthday bash, by a totally naked lady (not from SS) who plonked herself next to us and asked if we fancied some girl/ girl action. Got to admire her pluck!
 
25 July 2016
634
3,663
57
City
Tamworth
As long as you can handle 'no thank you' then why not just blurt it out? Life is short...

We were approached, whilst in the play areas, at the SS birthday bash, by a totally naked lady (not from SS) who plonked herself next to us and asked if we fancied some girl/ girl action. Got to admire her pluck!

Wish she had approached us lol.
 
29 December 2016
70
1,560
City
Norwich
You could make sure your profile here is current. As for meeting people at clubs I guess you need to go with the flow of the conversation, you could simply say you are looking for new experiences without stating what they are. Im sure anyone interested would then ask what it is you are loooking for and you take it from there.
Thanks. Good idea I'll update our profile. X
 
M

meet_the_fockers

There is of course the old saying don't ask don't get..
Although usually when chatting it becomes quite clear re signals if they want to take it further.. i guess much like it does in everyday life. X
 
29 December 2016
70
1,560
City
Norwich
Definitely agree that in our experience play is usually led by the ladies.
There is no easy answer to this one you just have to jump in with both feet and do as suggested above.
'So when you play what do you guys look for, how do you like to play' with a naughty glint. It is usually always followed with 'what about you guys' and then you just be honest.
You did alright when we were sitting at the table together, you were both talkative, friendly and easy to engage in conversation. That's all its about. The rest you just have to be brave about and ask, which will give you the chance to say what you want lol.
Everyone is there for the same thing you just have to get used to that bit that's all. You're doing great in our opinion.

Xx
Oh thank you so much. I did enjoy chatting at the table. You were both easy to talk to. My confidence does drop a bit I think once in the club. I'll get there one day. And James is an absolute star he does leave it to me to decide what happens. No pressure. Xxx
 
28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Oh thank you so much. I did enjoy chatting at the table. You were both easy to talk to. My confidence does drop a bit I think once in the club. I'll get there one day. And James is an absolute star he does leave it to me to decide what happens. No pressure. Xxx

Just takes practice ;) you're doing great we thought.

Xxx
 
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Steed99

Oldest Swinger In Town
15 September 2015
2,293
18,285
City
Kettering
Hi guys. The hot tub at VA's has been like the confessional in a church at times. Not sure what it is about sitting there in the altogether but it certainly opens the conversational floodgates. I must admit, James and I got pretty deep some weeks ago. Just take it at your own pace and confide in those you feel happy with.
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,094
120,664
Ok. So I have been to the VA a few times now and absolutely love it. However I have only really 'played' with James. Now, I know what I would like, but without wearing a tee shirt printed with a long list of all the naughty delights I'd like to partake in, how do I get it out there to people what I/we really want. Yes we start talking to people but how is the best way to get it across without seeming overly confident or pushy. Do you just blurt it out? "We'd like a MMF threesome please". Hope this makes sense. Thanks o_Oxxx
Just go up to the said person and say.. "oi luv does u fancy a bit of this an that like" :whistle::rofl:
 
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26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
Now maybe I am being a bit thick here. However I am sure you will all tell me if I am missing something OK.

Let's just take it its me and our lass in all these scenarios.
If we like the look of a couple during the evening we would somehow get talking to them. During that convo we would bring up clubs and ask "So what are you guys looking for" most folks will then tell you what's what as in she is bi and I am not or whatever you can then state what floats your boat. If your looking for MMF then get speaking to the blokes who seem to be alone you will soon get asked don't you worry
 
29 December 2016
70
1,560
City
Norwich
Now maybe I am being a bit thick here. However I am sure you will all tell me if I am missing something OK.

Let's just take it its me and our lass in all these scenarios.
If we like the look of a couple during the evening we would somehow get talking to them. During that convo we would bring up clubs and ask "So what are you guys looking for" most folks will then tell you what's what as in she is bi and I am not or whatever you can then state what floats your boat. If your looking for MMF then get speaking to the blokes who seem to be alone you will soon get asked don't you worry
Thanks you so much. Will take note for future. Xx