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lisa&paul
Just wondering is it normal to want boundaries when starting out? I.e No kissing or going off to another room if in a club. Just curious to people's thoughts. Thank you xx
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lisa&paul
Thank you for your thoughts Kop x
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lisa&paul
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Scott
Boundaries are always best, last thing you want is your other half.doing something you don't like, but on the other hand you may not know you don't like it till it happens. Some good base ground rules are good to start with .
Very well said and the best advice you could get, make sure that all involved know what each others boundaries are, and agree never to change them on a whim. Spend as much time on any changes as you did coming up with them in the first place..
Boundaries are of extreme importance in this lifestyle.. Kop nailed it with this.
If you don't discuss about and have boundaries - how will you ever know what your partner feels about a certain aspect of your chosen lifestyle?
And that could possibly then mean not only and end to swinging, but also possibly the end to your relationship/marriage.
You have to have set boundaries - in order to be fully open with each other. Some people don't of course, don't get me wrong here.. But they are so important to you.
What I will say though is that you may notice your boundaries changing as you explore things. That's normal and you should expect that too.
Agree with Mr @kopinov last sentence though;
it's much less acceptable for another to expect you to act outside your agreed boundaries.
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NigelandJulie
We have found that in the couple of years we have been into swinging that our boundaries have been widened as we get more experience and relaxed
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NigelandJulie
Although the no pain & water sports rule is stuck to regardless
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meet_the_fockers
No bounderies? Kiss goodbye to your relationship.. ours have altered ... but are always discussed its paramount..
myself and mr F are very different.. im the can be sometimes wild exhibitionist.. hes the more private.. person so we discuss a lot.. i can be a little crazy and wanton he reigns me in.
myself and mr F are very different.. im the can be sometimes wild exhibitionist.. hes the more private.. person so we discuss a lot.. i can be a little crazy and wanton he reigns me in.
We took the lifestyle on as we both naively presumed it was, and as we had both been brought up to understand, which was "Wife swapping" and with the exception. of no mess or pain, went for things fully from day one, so the main boundaries of how far to go, etc were never an issue, we dealt with the emotions if any, as they occurred, now we of course realise there are so many levels and stages to swinging, but looking back, we wouldn't change a thing. Severe Pain and messy has remained, and we now are more selective in our partners, seeking experienced couples over newbies, so yes, as you develop and get more confident, your boundaries do change. Had we realised early on, you could have them, we may have done things differently xx