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28 June 2017
365
3,629
52
City
Kingswinford
Most don't even consider that sometimes that the frustrations go far deeper than just moaning. The attitudes of most single women and couples and the narcissism displayed daily towards us does actually hurt after a while. It seems to be acceptable that we can be lied to and fed bullshit because we don't matter. Daily ignorance, never replying to or acknowledge messages in public or pm, no matter how polite. Even a "hello and and welcome" gets ignored purely because of a relationship status. Do single girls or couples have single guy friends in RL? Do you ignore them purely because they are single? Then why do it here? Not every single guy wants to be with all of you. Believe it or not, we don't fancy most of you but that doesn't mean we don't want to talk to you. It's hard enough to make connections in this lifestyle as it is but even more so when others play cupid with the ones they like which results in making it much harder and has an adverse effect on others.
The staff here do their best to help when new members join to try and change attitudes. Rude, aggressive behaviour is not tolerated, no matter what your relationship status.
Believe it or not, some of us have feelings. Some of us are genuine people, we laugh, we smile, we cry, we hurt. It's not just us moaning because we are just a single guy, it is a frustration grown over time that is fed daily by others. I personally have made some great friends, I would love to make more. We wouldn't moan so much if people stopped and thought for a moment that the guy sat at the computer might be an ok guy rather than just see the words "single guy" and automatically assume we're here to abuse you. Most of aren't. Especially here on SS.
Stop with the lies, bullshit, leading others on and a narcissistic view that you're better because you're a couple or single girl then maybe there won't be any moaning. We're all here to be accepted. We're no different. If we all stand in the rain, we all get wet.
I wasn't going to say anything on this post but I have to agree with kwaka we as single gents do have feelings and it is like a kick in the teeth when you try and be friendly and polite and just get plain ignored it does make you feel why bother. Rant over have a nice weekend :sneaky:
 
3 July 2017
846
1,660
48
City
Okehampton
Do you feel you are tolerated in this lifestyle?
I personally have no issue with anyone and have made great friends with all including gents. I am aware that other sites are very discriminating against single guys but I have never seen it here.

Sorry, I copied the original OP across so I could respond to the question. Firstly, not massively keen on the word "tolerated" but understand where you are coming from. From my own personal experience of this site and others over the last ten years or so, I have found that I am a welcomed member of the scene. Generally I will involve myself in the forums or chat, display a range of photos and try to articulate myself as I am. Now I know this isn't for everyone; regardless of the critiques of some on forums and in chat, there are women and couples out there just looking for sex with a stranger, so a "refined" or "intelligent" profile will not impact them (please note I am not saying I am either refined or intelligent, however I think there is a difference between "here's my knob, who wants a fuck" and "I would like to get to know you so I can push the right buttons, by the way, heres my knob")

Now the former fellas can do well with the right type (for them) couple or single female. Whereas the latter will get the cold shoulder. Some people just want to meet other people for sex and it's a brief encounter that requires zero expose of personality, just sexual ability.

The flip side is, that people that actively engage in forums and other elements of social interaction are more predisposed to want more than a demonstration of sexual ability and thus generally meet people of a similar mind. So in effect we have two silos of members on any site we are on. Generally (and I may be hugely wrong, but this is my experience), there are more people that just want to engage in "throwaway sex" than "getting to know someone sex". I based this on a number of factors but primarily just how small a percentage of people actually take part in the social parts of a website, forum users are usually in the minority (this site is built differently and therefore is likely to attract differently minded people).

However (writing a thesis here) the former "throwaway sex" type of people (once again in my experience) are not true "life stylers", but are fulfilling fantasies or between relationships; they pick up and put down the site as and when they need to, and it works for them.

The main problem occurs when the former group enters into the social side with comments like "does size matter", "why can't I get a meet" etc. The reality is they are asking the right question to the wrong group of people and the answers they will get will seek to humiliate them or portray them as neanderthals..... so (and this is where I finally get around to answering your question OP!) Some sites appear to discriminate against single guys, because the cross over between "throwaway fuck" and "getting to know someone fuck" has failed... they are held up as idiots and fools and to the casual observer this would appear that single guys are viewed negatively within the scene. The reality is, that expecting random, spare of the minute fucking from a group of people who usually take time to develop some form of friendship will be met with distaste and the comments will reflect this.

As I say, I do okay, but that's because (I think) I understand what someone wants before offering it to them and tailoring my profile/pics to the tastes of the kind of people I would like to meet. If I wanted to just meet people for throwaway, wham bam, I could build a profile for that, remove myself from social interaction and play the numbers game.

People always say that "patience" is the key for a single guy to get a meet. I am afraid they are wrong. "Focus" is the key to a single guy getting a meet. Don't scattershot, tailor your profile to your desires and you will be amazed at which silo you end up falling into....

There that was a lot of nonsense wasn't it?
 
S

Sammy

Sorry, I copied the original OP across so I could respond to the question. Firstly, not massively keen on the word "tolerated" but understand where you are coming from. From my own personal experience of this site and others over the last ten years or so, I have found that I am a welcomed member of the scene. Generally I will involve myself in the forums or chat, display a range of photos and try to articulate myself as I am. Now I know this isn't for everyone; regardless of the critiques of some on forums and in chat, there are women and couples out there just looking for sex with a stranger, so a "refined" or "intelligent" profile will not impact them (please note I am not saying I am either refined or intelligent, however I think there is a difference between "here's my knob, who wants a fuck" and "I would like to get to know you so I can push the right buttons, by the way, heres my knob")

Now the former fellas can do well with the right type (for them) couple or single female. Whereas the latter will get the cold shoulder. Some people just want to meet other people for sex and it's a brief encounter that requires zero expose of personality, just sexual ability.

The flip side is, that people that actively engage in forums and other elements of social interaction are more predisposed to want more than a demonstration of sexual ability and thus generally meet people of a similar mind. So in effect we have two silos of members on any site we are on. Generally (and I may be hugely wrong, but this is my experience), there are more people that just want to engage in "throwaway sex" than "getting to know someone sex". I based this on a number of factors but primarily just how small a percentage of people actually take part in the social parts of a website, forum users are usually in the minority (this site is built differently and therefore is likely to attract differently minded people).

However (writing a thesis here) the former "throwaway sex" type of people (once again in my experience) are not true "life stylers", but are fulfilling fantasies or between relationships; they pick up and put down the site as and when they need to, and it works for them.

The main problem occurs when the former group enters into the social side with comments like "does size matter", "why can't I get a meet" etc. The reality is they are asking the right question to the wrong group of people and the answers they will get will seek to humiliate them or portray them as neanderthals..... so (and this is where I finally get around to answering your question OP!) Some sites appear to discriminate against single guys, because the cross over between "throwaway fuck" and "getting to know someone fuck" has failed... they are held up as idiots and fools and to the casual observer this would appear that single guys are viewed negatively within the scene. The reality is, that expecting random, spare of the minute fucking from a group of people who usually take time to develop some form of friendship will be met with distaste and the comments will reflect this.

As I say, I do okay, but that's because (I think) I understand what someone wants before offering it to them and tailoring my profile/pics to the tastes of the kind of people I would like to meet. If I wanted to just meet people for throwaway, wham bam, I could build a profile for that, remove myself from social interaction and play the numbers game.

People always say that "patience" is the key for a single guy to get a meet. I am afraid they are wrong. "Focus" is the key to a single guy getting a meet. Don't scattershot, tailor your profile to your desires and you will be amazed at which silo you end up falling into....

There that was a lot of nonsense wasn't it?

Fabulous response , great observations and assessment
Spot on in my opinion particularly about the different approaches

But this is not just a issue for single guys , I think this affects singke guys , girls and couples
It just depends what side of the fence you sit on
Some people are direct and are lets meet asap , and others as you rightly said like to get to know people

But I also agree with what others have said , positive attitude is far more attractive
than constant self deprecation, or poor me or criticising site or a particular group

I have treated everyone one the same when the come to chat n it's not a case of tolerating anyone

There are fabulous examples of single guys on this site , my concern is there a minority who can damage the reputation of other single guys because of their poor interactions or behaviour
Sx
 
3 July 2017
846
1,660
48
City
Okehampton
Fabulous response , great observations and assessment
Spot on in my opinion particularly about the different approaches

But this is not just a issue for single guys , I think this affects singke guys , girls and couples
It just depends what side of the fence you sit on
Some people are direct and are lets meet asap , and others as you rightly said like to get to know people

But I also agree with what others have said , positive attitude is far more attractive
than constant self deprecation, or poor me or criticising site or a particular group

I have treated everyone one the same when the come to chat n it's not a case of tolerating anyone

There are fabulous examples of single guys on this site , my concern is there a minority who can damage the reputation of other single guys because of their poor interactions or behaviour
Sx

Thank you Sammy, and you are of course absolutely correct, single females, couples are males all fall into two very distinct silos, it's not just single guys. (please note there are a million other categories, but in the main, I have found swinging sites to be polarised across the two main groups).

Again regarding attitude you are right, if you sound like eeyore and mope like eeyore; it won't matter that you are hung like eeyore... the most common word on a swinging profile is the word "fun", now ask yourself.... would you meet you for "fun".....?

However Sammy the last part I cannot agree with, no man damages another mans reputation, unless a couple or single female are so disheartened with the whole process that they have already given up. If anything the bad behaviourists (now that use of word I like!) make it easier for other guys... be normal and the world is yours, so to speak...

I think the blurred lines issue is the biggest challenge that some face; "is this a hook up site, or is this a swinging site?" although we have homogenised over the years, I still believe the two things are very different, however I may be in the minority.
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
Sorry, I copied the original OP across so I could respond to the question. Firstly, not massively keen on the word "tolerated" but understand where you are coming from. From my own personal experience of this site and others over the last ten years or so, I have found that I am a welcomed member of the scene. Generally I will involve myself in the forums or chat, display a range of photos and try to articulate myself as I am. Now I know this isn't for everyone; regardless of the critiques of some on forums and in chat, there are women and couples out there just looking for sex with a stranger, so a "refined" or "intelligent" profile will not impact them (please note I am not saying I am either refined or intelligent, however I think there is a difference between "here's my knob, who wants a fuck" and "I would like to get to know you so I can push the right buttons, by the way, heres my knob")

Now the former fellas can do well with the right type (for them) couple or single female. Whereas the latter will get the cold shoulder. Some people just want to meet other people for sex and it's a brief encounter that requires zero expose of personality, just sexual ability.

The flip side is, that people that actively engage in forums and other elements of social interaction are more predisposed to want more than a demonstration of sexual ability and thus generally meet people of a similar mind. So in effect we have two silos of members on any site we are on. Generally (and I may be hugely wrong, but this is my experience), there are more people that just want to engage in "throwaway sex" than "getting to know someone sex". I based this on a number of factors but primarily just how small a percentage of people actually take part in the social parts of a website, forum users are usually in the minority (this site is built differently and therefore is likely to attract differently minded people).

However (writing a thesis here) the former "throwaway sex" type of people (once again in my experience) are not true "life stylers", but are fulfilling fantasies or between relationships; they pick up and put down the site as and when they need to, and it works for them.

The main problem occurs when the former group enters into the social side with comments like "does size matter", "why can't I get a meet" etc. The reality is they are asking the right question to the wrong group of people and the answers they will get will seek to humiliate them or portray them as neanderthals..... so (and this is where I finally get around to answering your question OP!) Some sites appear to discriminate against single guys, because the cross over between "throwaway fuck" and "getting to know someone fuck" has failed... they are held up as idiots and fools and to the casual observer this would appear that single guys are viewed negatively within the scene. The reality is, that expecting random, spare of the minute fucking from a group of people who usually take time to develop some form of friendship will be met with distaste and the comments will reflect this.

As I say, I do okay, but that's because (I think) I understand what someone wants before offering it to them and tailoring my profile/pics to the tastes of the kind of people I would like to meet. If I wanted to just meet people for throwaway, wham bam, I could build a profile for that, remove myself from social interaction and play the numbers game.

People always say that "patience" is the key for a single guy to get a meet. I am afraid they are wrong. "Focus" is the key to a single guy getting a meet. Don't scattershot, tailor your profile to your desires and you will be amazed at which silo you end up falling into....

There that was a lot of nonsense wasn't it?
Are you free next week. :whistle::sneaky:
 
15 August 2015
412
1,770
I've been following this with interest but delaying contributing as I wanted to see general consensus.

Us single guys do have it hard sometimes but then this really was a scene for couple's. Swinging has changed to include singles too now (ladies and gents) but due to the number of single guys out there I do understand that sometimes it's tempting to be a little evasive with them.

It's a tricky one, some people are here for very specific needs and single guys just don't fall into their desires. Others are here to be part of a like minded community and are more open to conversations with singles.

Personally I dip in and out and although I enjoy the scene I don't let it dominate (poor choice of word perhaps!) my life. That's why I'm not a massive contributer on the forums, guess you'd call me a "lurker" but I'm sociable, polite and chatty in person and in pm. I comment on pics, I'm just not a big fan of "chipping in with the banter". Doesn't mean I don't belong here I feel.

At the end of the day you should treat people how you expect to be treated yourself and think about the other person (s) on the other side of the monitor. Or phone (isn't technology good?).

I'll disappear from the forums again now and leave you all in peace :lol:
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Sorry, I copied the original OP across so I could respond to the question. Firstly, not massively keen on the word "tolerated" but understand where you are coming from. From my own personal experience of this site and others over the last ten years or so, I have found that I am a welcomed member of the scene. Generally I will involve myself in the forums or chat, display a range of photos and try to articulate myself as I am. Now I know this isn't for everyone; regardless of the critiques of some on forums and in chat, there are women and couples out there just looking for sex with a stranger, so a "refined" or "intelligent" profile will not impact them (please note I am not saying I am either refined or intelligent, however I think there is a difference between "here's my knob, who wants a fuck" and "I would like to get to know you so I can push the right buttons, by the way, heres my knob")

Now the former fellas can do well with the right type (for them) couple or single female. Whereas the latter will get the cold shoulder. Some people just want to meet other people for sex and it's a brief encounter that requires zero expose of personality, just sexual ability.

The flip side is, that people that actively engage in forums and other elements of social interaction are more predisposed to want more than a demonstration of sexual ability and thus generally meet people of a similar mind. So in effect we have two silos of members on any site we are on. Generally (and I may be hugely wrong, but this is my experience), there are more people that just want to engage in "throwaway sex" than "getting to know someone sex". I based this on a number of factors but primarily just how small a percentage of people actually take part in the social parts of a website, forum users are usually in the minority (this site is built differently and therefore is likely to attract differently minded people).

However (writing a thesis here) the former "throwaway sex" type of people (once again in my experience) are not true "life stylers", but are fulfilling fantasies or between relationships; they pick up and put down the site as and when they need to, and it works for them.

The main problem occurs when the former group enters into the social side with comments like "does size matter", "why can't I get a meet" etc. The reality is they are asking the right question to the wrong group of people and the answers they will get will seek to humiliate them or portray them as neanderthals..... so (and this is where I finally get around to answering your question OP!) Some sites appear to discriminate against single guys, because the cross over between "throwaway fuck" and "getting to know someone fuck" has failed... they are held up as idiots and fools and to the casual observer this would appear that single guys are viewed negatively within the scene. The reality is, that expecting random, spare of the minute fucking from a group of people who usually take time to develop some form of friendship will be met with distaste and the comments will reflect this.

As I say, I do okay, but that's because (I think) I understand what someone wants before offering it to them and tailoring my profile/pics to the tastes of the kind of people I would like to meet. If I wanted to just meet people for throwaway, wham bam, I could build a profile for that, remove myself from social interaction and play the numbers game.

People always say that "patience" is the key for a single guy to get a meet. I am afraid they are wrong. "Focus" is the key to a single guy getting a meet. Don't scattershot, tailor your profile to your desires and you will be amazed at which silo you end up falling into....

There that was a lot of nonsense wasn't it?
Yes lol..
Cracking response puds. X
 
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B

Bobbie

Honesty is still the best policy, to explain what you want if you know, is best , most people particularly single men but not exclusively don't seem to know and adjust their approaches as they think fashionable or most attractive.An honest approach and profile on the most appropriate Website is the way, oh and genuinely be sexually ( if that is what you want ) enthusiastic but not desperate.
 
B

Bobbie

Would you want to meet people who are bad mannered?
I do not include people completely ignoring your approach that,s fair enough.
 
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5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett
Hhmmm I was just perusing the threads and decided to have a read here with no intention of posting as I didn't think it would apply to us.

However we literally will talk to anyone as long as we're approached with respect and manners. We've gotten a feel of other members through the forums so a bit of cheeky banter is also acceptable ;).

We thought Kaz would get approached by loads of blokes but to be honest it's usually couples or ladies that message us. We don't mind at all talking to the fellas but bear in mind it's usually me (Baldrick) posting.

Although Kaz isn't looking for a gent to join us, that may change in the future and I would help her fulfil that fantasy if she desired it.
What I will say though is that I am very protective over my lady and only the gents that I feel would be respectful of her would be asked to join us, just as Kaz would also have a say before we invited a lady or a couple to join us.

Also a tip for the fellas, kaz has a thing for intelligent, witty, funny chaps. Some of the above members fit her criteria :whistle::whistle: although we are also aware that we're not every single gents cup of tea either.

One more very important tip. Don't send us your 12 inch dick pic. Kaz doesn't like it and it makes me a little insecure :rofl::rofl::rofl:

B x
 
T

The_Bibas

Life is a roller coaster. Six weeks ago my ride took a plummet, my Dad died suddenly ! I found out my mum has early dementia. I thought I was ready to quit here. Kind words we're spoken, someone very much took my hand and has been a true support through this. I found the fun and the madness on here very cathartic over the last few weeks. I'm just going to say thank you.
We all need support at times.. Even if people think we are stronger than we are.
So pleased you found yours... And stayed..

XxxBibaxxX
 
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9 September 2017
1,142
2,864
54
I'm a single man and have only recently joined this site. So far I've found it wonderfully welcoming.
I think that although everyone has the right to interact with whoever they so wish I personally find no excuse for ignorance.
For example, I'm a heterosexual but if a gay guy approached me and wanted to chat I would firstly, not assume he was only talking to me because he wanted to have sex with me (how conceited would that be?) and secondly treat him as I would anyone else. The point I am trying to make is that we're all human beings and deserve consideration and respect.
Much love and snogs,
Antogs xx
 
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Reactions: No longer with us
4 July 2017
4,745
2,654
City
Glastonbury
I'm a single man and have only recently joined this site. So far I've found it wonderfully welcoming.
I think that although everyone has the right to interact with whoever they so wish I personally find no excuse for ignorance.
For example, I'm a heterosexual but if a gay guy approached me and wanted to chat I would firstly, not assume he was only talking to me because he wanted to have sex with me (how conceited would that be?) and secondly treat him as I would anyone else. The point I am trying to make is that we're all human beings and deserve consideration and respect.
Much love and snogs,
Antogs xx
Fancy a... chat? :)