Straight To The Point

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26 July 2016
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3,886
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Bolton
From reading this it sounds to us that you would all like the other person to be direct with you whilst you hang back and play it safe. Its a strange pace this as everyone seems to be on the edge dipping toes when really they wanna jump in but are scared to so they want someone to drag them in. Must say we can be rather direct at times but wont mess folks around so if we dont feel a connection we will say so and hopefully that stops people feeling foolish.
 
D

Deleted member 3175

From reading this it sounds to us that you would all like the other person to be direct with you whilst you hang back and play it safe. Its a strange pace this as everyone seems to be on the edge dipping toes when really they wanna jump in but are scared to so they want someone to drag them in. Must say we can be rather direct at times but wont mess folks around so if we dont feel a connection we will say so and hopefully that stops people feeling foolish.

No we’ve been direct but struggle with meets because of the young un, let’s face it who wants to babysit a 9 year old lad?!?! Lol. We’ve been direct arranged meetings and had to cancel because the babysitters blobbed or he’s been ill. That makes us feel crap like we’ve let people down but it’s something we have no control over.
We posted because we wanted to get a general feeling whether people would like to chat first or go straight for a meet. General consensus is chat then met, so that’s probably the route we’ll take, plus it’s good getting to know people first, like dislikes etc S x
 
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19 March 2015
23,755
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From reading this it sounds to us that you would all like the other person to be direct with you whilst you hang back and play it safe. Its a strange pace this as everyone seems to be on the edge dipping toes when really they wanna jump in but are scared to so they want someone to drag them in.
From my personal position, I tend to agree in a sense. It seems that a lot of people are on the edge, but very unsure whether or not to take that step.
What I know is, our site has a hell of a lot of newbies to the whole lifestyle which is of course, not a bad thing, but it does mean there's a higher ratio of couples and swingles who are unsure about whether to take the next step or not.
As outlined below by @The_Usual_Horny_Couple there are RL constraints too of course, but as a general point of view to me - it genuinely seems like a lot are treading very carefully.
That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing of course either. People will do what they want when they're ready to and want to. :)
No we’ve been direct but struggle with meets because of the young un, let’s face it who wants to babysit a 9 year old lad?!?! Lol. We’ve been direct arranged meetings and had to cancel because the babysitters blobbed or he’s been ill. That makes us feel crap like we’ve let people down but it’s something we have no control over.
We posted because we wanted to get a general feeling whether people would like to chat first or go straight for a meet. General consensus is chat then met, so that’s probably the route we’ll take, plus it’s good getting to know people first, like dislikes etc S x
 
26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
No we’ve been direct but struggle with meets because of the young un, let’s face it who wants to babysit a 9 year old lad?!?! Lol. We’ve been direct arranged meetings and had to cancel because the babysitters blobbed or he’s been ill. That makes us feel crap like we’ve let people down but it’s something we have no control over.
We posted because we wanted to get a general feeling whether people would like to chat first or go straight for a meet. General consensus is chat then met S xx
Right got you. You cant help real life getting in the way now and again. We find the most important part is letting other folks know as soon as when things have gone wrong. Maybe folks wanting to chat them meet are the reason we dont seem to get very far on this site as i would say we are the opposite and just dont have the blocks of time to be on chatting as we tend to come on reply to what we need to and go.
 
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19 March 2015
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You cant help real life getting in the way now and again.
No we’ve been direct but struggle with meets because of the young un, let’s face it who wants to babysit a 9 year old lad?!?! Lol. We’ve been direct arranged meetings and had to cancel because the babysitters blobbed or he’s been ill.
Same situation. Almost had an impromptu meeting recently, and literally needed a babysitter at the 11th hour; didn't happen and we were all pretty gutted. It can be shite sometimes, esp if you have kids.
 
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Deleted member 2179

Enjoying this thread. I’m one of the newbies and defo dipping in a toe first. Real life makes the jump even harder but enjoy the chats loads, just hope people don’t think I’m mucking them around or not following up as I would really much like to.
The chats help me build up a little confidence with that person to start with so all helps.
 
28 June 2017
365
3,629
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City
Kingswinford
No we’ve been direct but struggle with meets because of the young un, let’s face it who wants to babysit a 9 year old lad?!?! Lol. We’ve been direct arranged meetings and had to cancel because the babysitters blobbed or he’s been ill. That makes us feel crap like we’ve let people down but it’s something we have no control over.
We posted because we wanted to get a general feeling whether people would like to chat first or go straight for a meet. General consensus is chat then met, so that’s probably the route we’ll take, plus it’s good getting to know people first, like dislikes etc S x
Definitely the best way look at the fun you can have when you meet properly xc:whistle::whistle::lol:
 
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9 September 2017
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For me, it's a case of judgement.
At some point, after some sort of interaction, talking, messaging, whatever I'll make a decision whether that person would appreciate the direct approach or not. :cool:
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,117
121,117
Ok for us we have a banter in the forums, if we feel there could be something there then we message, we don't get into long drawn messages and it's usually pretty clear from the start if we will meet, one person we met after a couple of weeks of joining, at this point it's fun. Fun only, there isn't any emotional attachment, just good times. So we all get knocked back, just happens and we simply say ta very much and move along, if they ignore us then we know where we stand. Does it knock our confidence? Not at all.. How can someone be attracted to every bugger, this works both ways and we have turned people down, we still have a laugh or we never see them again. One of those things I guess. We have made good friendships either way. Just enjoy and don't take swinging too seriously. At the end of the day we are all here for some fun and friendship. ;)(y)
 
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Deleted member 3175

Ok for us we have a banter in the forums, if we feel there could be something there then we message, we don't get into long drawn messages and it's usually pretty clear from the start if we will meet, one person we met after a couple of weeks of joining, at this point it's fun. Fun only, there isn't any emotional attachment, just good times. So we all get knocked back, just happens and we simply say ta very much and move along, if they ignore us then we know where we stand. Does it knock our confidence? Not at all.. How can someone be attracted to every bugger, this works both ways and we have turned people down, we still have a laugh or we never see them again. One of those things I guess. We have made good friendships either way. Just enjoy and don't take swinging too seriously. At the end of the day we are all here for some fun and friendship. ;)(y)

Exactly this! Oh wise one I doth my cap! :flutter::mwah: S xx
 
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1 January 2018
488
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Manchester
For me, it's a case of judgement.
At some point, after some sort of interaction, talking, messaging, whatever I'll make a decision whether that person would appreciate the direct approach or not. :cool:
I pressed dislike by accident (fat fingers ) I meant to like the post :)
 

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,420
48,324
Do you get straight to the point when you see someone you like or do you just hang back, see how it goes and then take it from there?

I tend to hold off and try to get a better idea of who they are first, especially if I was to approach them as a SG. I'm happy to chat and see if there is any spark between us and take if from there. No point, however good looking someone is, in trying to take things further if you know they aren't what you are looking for. Seeing someone you like the look of isn't the same as actually liking them enough to get ya kit off.
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,117
121,117
I tend to hold off and try to get a better idea of who they are first, especially if I was to approach them as a SG. I'm happy to chat and see if there is any spark between us and take if from there. No point, however good looking someone is, in trying to take things further if you know they aren't what you are looking for. Seeing someone you like the look of isn't the same as actually liking them enough to get ya kit off.
Took you 5mins to get to know me.. :whistle::D