Swingers Jokes..

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meet_the_fockers

Apparently they don't exist?

Although I found one and one kind of suitable ??

Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club?

The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands.

Who's the most popular woman?

The one who can get the last one without using hers.

A woman walks into a pharmacy and tentatively approaches the pharmacist. The pharmacist, seeing her hesitancy, asks if there is anything that he can do for her. She asks him in a quiet voice, "Do you carry extra large condoms?" He points to where they are and asks if she wants to purchase a box. She says, "No, but do you mind if I wait here until someone does?"

Let's hear them?
 
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TherLegs

MOTM

11 December 2016
3,664
9,270
The local swingers club had two employees, Jane and Jack. Both were superb with the customers, always kept the drinks flowing and joined in the fun whenever they could. The customers loved them both, but one day the boss looked at the accounts and had no choice but to fire one of them.

He watched them both like a hawk all week to try and decide whom to give their cards but as usual both were on the ball.

He watched Jane from his office as she took a couple of aspirin after a particularly hard night and decided to talk to her.

“Jane” he said “I’m gonna have to lay you or Jack off”

Jane answered, “Can you jack off…I have a head ache”
 
M

Mel007

The local swingers club had two employees, Jane and Jack. Both were superb with the customers, always kept the drinks flowing and joined in the fun whenever they could. The customers loved them both, but one day the boss looked at the accounts and had no choice but to fire one of them.

He watched them both like a hawk all week to try and decide whom to give their cards but as usual both were on the ball.

He watched Jane from his office as she took a couple of aspirin after a particularly hard night and decided to talk to her.

“Jane” he said “I’m gonna have to lay you or Jack off”

Jane answered, “Can you jack off…I have a head ache”
LOL Ha Ha Ha
 
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M

Mel007

A Martian couple landed on the earth. The emerged from their spacecraft and went up to a farmhouse.

They knocked on the door. When the farmer and his wife answered, they announced that they were from Mars and wanted to come in to chat.

The farm couple extended their hospitality and they all seemed to hit it off well.

After a while, the farmer said “Do you two swing?”

The Martian replied, “yes”, and so they swapped mates and adjourned for appropriate activity.

After the Martian man had climbed on, he said to the earth woman, “Is my dick long enough?”

She replied, “Well, now that you mention it, I would like it a little longer.”

He said “no problem” and proceeded to twist his left ear and, like magic, his dick got longer. “How’s that now?”

“One notch more” said the woman.

Her request was promptly complied with via another twist of the left ear.

His next question was “Would you like it a little thicker?”

She replied “yes” and he twisted his right ear once.

The woman said “That’s perfect!” and they proceeded to bang away.

The next morning the earth couple were comparing experiences and the husband said “how was it for you?”

The wife replied, “Super! How about you?”

The husband responded, “It was pretty good, but she damn near twisted my ears off!
 
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M

meet_the_fockers

A Martian couple landed on the earth. The emerged from their spacecraft and went up to a farmhouse.

They knocked on the door. When the farmer and his wife answered, they announced that they were from Mars and wanted to come in to chat.

The farm couple extended their hospitality and they all seemed to hit it off well.

After a while, the farmer said “Do you two swing?”

The Martian replied, “yes”, and so they swapped mates and adjourned for appropriate activity.

After the Martian man had climbed on, he said to the earth woman, “Is my dick long enough?”

She replied, “Well, now that you mention it, I would like it a little longer.”

He said “no problem” and proceeded to twist his left ear and, like magic, his dick got longer. “How’s that now?”

“One notch more” said the woman.

Her request was promptly complied with via another twist of the left ear.

His next question was “Would you like it a little thicker?”

She replied “yes” and he twisted his right ear once.

The woman said “That’s perfect!” and they proceeded to bang away.

The next morning the earth couple were comparing experiences and the husband said “how was it for you?”

The wife replied, “Super! How about you?”

The husband responded, “It was pretty good, but she damn near twisted my ears off!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,328
37,229
50
A Martian couple landed on the earth. The emerged from their spacecraft and went up to a farmhouse.

They knocked on the door. When the farmer and his wife answered, they announced that they were from Mars and wanted to come in to chat.

The farm couple extended their hospitality and they all seemed to hit it off well.

After a while, the farmer said “Do you two swing?”

The Martian replied, “yes”, and so they swapped mates and adjourned for appropriate activity.

After the Martian man had climbed on, he said to the earth woman, “Is my dick long enough?”

She replied, “Well, now that you mention it, I would like it a little longer.”

He said “no problem” and proceeded to twist his left ear and, like magic, his dick got longer. “How’s that now?”

“One notch more” said the woman.

Her request was promptly complied with via another twist of the left ear.

His next question was “Would you like it a little thicker?”

She replied “yes” and he twisted his right ear once.

The woman said “That’s perfect!” and they proceeded to bang away.

The next morning the earth couple were comparing experiences and the husband said “how was it for you?”

The wife replied, “Super! How about you?”

The husband responded, “It was pretty good, but she damn near twisted my ears off!

Brilliant! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
4 July 2017
4,745
2,654
City
Glastonbury
DJ gets 2 couples agree to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex he says:
"I wonder how the girls are getting on..."
 
T

The_Bibas

Q: A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?"
A: A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

XxxBibaxxX