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AlphaandBlue submitted a new Article:
Swinging Aint Easy
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Firstly your right it is all about what's right for you. Here's our experiences
We have only met one person we know in real life in this lifestyle and yes at one point it did get awkward because they wanted to play and we didn't buts it's not stopped us carrying on regardless. It was an old work colleague so it wasn't a big deal really
We started by going to a club however we took the pressure off by taking sex off the table and just treating it as a getting our feet wet experience. We find sites can be great but tend to be more useful for keeping in touch with people you've already met but we have had some great meets from sites too. The important thing for us was knowing where we are comfortable going with things we still have this conversation now three years after that first club visit
Hope this helps
Thanks very much guys, really helpful!
Big Welcome !!!!
@AlphaandBlue Welcome, and don't worry you'll soon get literally into the swing of things be that socially or physically. First a heads up this section is open to the public so that non members can see what we're about but what you write here is public domain, ok. Yes this place IS great thanks to the pv access and the fact the owners run this place for the FUN of it. Rules are strict but that also makes this place safe and relaxed. Swinging isn't quite how some see it, this site aims to help and advise.... ask away.
Hello both and welcome to the site and such a great first post, We have been on other sites and found the same happens and also when them sites don't look after their members or ensure they PV with a face pic it does make you weary, to say the least. This site is the last one I tried as I (Vanessa) was getting fed up with the constant fake profiles and people messing us about on other sites that we took a year out from swinging but we are glad we found this site.
Thanks guys great to hear different points of view
Yes, it's hard to avoid the "whatever's right for you" response, but I would say that, for us at least, it was more of a case of "suck it and see" - we had no clue what we were doing and we ended up going to a club after lurking round some other, less reputable, sites for a few months. As it goes, that worked for us. It might work for you, it might not.
You could always try joining us at one of our socials.
Is a social just an arranged gathering ? Were from scotland so a bit of a trip without planning.
Yes, sort of... a social can be a purely social meet (as our October party will be) where the idea is simply to meet and chat - of course, people can always carry on at their hotel or whatever afterwards, should they desire - or it can be held at a club where there is the option (but not the expectation) to play, as our Summer Party at Purple Mamba will be.
Yes, distance can be prohibitive (and, indeed, expensive), but we've very rarely been disappointed after travelling to a party.
Hi Guys and welcome.
We did it rather backwards as we dived in head first and joined a site got chatting to a couple met them for a drink and a chat then met them again the following week and began our swinging lives. We have been to many clubs since then but they really are not for us as they have a feel of a cattle market to us.
Also not all socials are the same we went to one and it was awful one guy was wearing a string vest and it wasn't a fancy dress night so look at where it's held and who is attending is the only advice we would give as we have gone to others and they were great
Firstly I'd like to welcome you both to the site Hope you enjoy and find it refreshing. Secondly, I must say what an excellent article and introductory thread this is!
It definitely helps make sure you're speaking with people who they say they are, rather than Sally from down the road - who is in fact Bob..
This is why the site is like it is.. not a money spinner and using members as cash cows. As far as security is concerned, it's the site's number one priority. 100% every time without fail. Whether a single gent, lady or couple - it doesn't matter. Everyone is treated equally and with safety being paramount.
Weeding the good from the bad is tricky. A lot of it is done on here before members become fully active. Bans happen quietly and discreetly (sometimes ) and problem members are dealt with swiftly.
PV also reduces the Catfishing dilemma too, which again further reduces the bad, allowing more good.
However, it's not all a silver bullet and the rest is down to you. Use your gut instinct and if someone or something is too good to be true? It usually is.
Anything fishy, such as a non-PV'd member asking for personal details, then be wary and/or report anything unusual.
Follow your own intuition.
It helps though that everyone here is welcoming, friendly and happy to engage.
Yes we did.. One was our ex-financial advisor. We felt that he was around for the same reasons as us so therefore it wasn't a problem. Until he pushed and pushed asking for a threesome and not taking no for an answer.
Yeah this is always a tricky one as it's wholly dependant on you. Have you ever been to a club as of yet?
We're a couple who enjoy home meets over clubs or hotels. We wine and dine and go from there. Anyone who comes here, is really made to feel welcome/at home and waited on hand & foot. The rest usually happens naturally.
If there's anything I can advise on avoiding for mistakes, it would be use caution with alcohol and drugs. A few drinks is of course perfectly normal and expected to a degree by anyone, but being off your face totally is a no-go.
Sadly people do still go ahead with others' when they're too drunk to walk, which is a bit of a no-no in the whole lifestyle. It's almost an unwritten rule.
Finally, the best advice I can offer you will be; communicate about everything. Be open, do not keep secrets. Don't talk to another gent/lady/couple without the other one of you knowing by keeping it all secret.
Be open, honest, discuss boundaries. Talk about experiences and things you liked and enjoyed, which you'd like to do again - or things you didn't and don't ever wish to repeat.
Whatever you do, just make sure you communicate as much as you can with each other.
Other than that, enjoy everything it brings - which can be exhilarating, exciting, passionate and fun. But as with everything, you may encounter a few bumps along the way too.
Hopefully we can all get to meet you both at some point in the future at one of the organised events.
Good luck both and happy swinging. x
Hello to you both.
In my opinion, you've made the best possible start by joining this site.
I'm a single guy so face different "obstacles" to you as a couple but nevertheless, I think that the "starting off" process is similar in many ways.
I am sincere when I say you've made the right choice in joining SocialSwinging.
Aside from the obvious security aspects, I believe being here has many other benefits.
Prior to finding this site I, as many others before me, stumbled down the well-trodden path of joining sites that were blatantly interested in nothing but your money, sites that were obviously full to the brim with catfish and sites that were so impersonal you never felt you belonged. Yes, you might get the occasional hookup but there was no sense of belonging, no sense of community and definitely no soul. The end result being, certainly in my case, that I felt basically that I was on my own.
Then I found this place, I can't remember how and immediately "felt" a difference. A warmth, a different kind of vibe, a community. Something I wasn't previously aware was missing in my journey. Indeed, something I didn't realise I needed.
Now I feel totally comfortable with my direction. I know this is what I want.
I've made some wonderful friends and had some great times.
The way I arrived at this point (which may help you) was, firstly, to be active in the forums and engage with people. You've obviously made a good impression already.
Once you've been a while getting yourself known in the forums I would suggest the next logical step is to either start messaging people you feel you have a rapport with or put your names down to attend an event where people from here will be in attendance.
After quite some time posting in the forums I was fortunate to be invited, along with a few others from the site, to a dinner party by a lovely couple who are also members here. Obviously, as it was my first venture into the real world of swingers I was a little tentative but knew it was a bridge I had to cross. And it was brilliant. I met several other fabulous people (small gatherings like this are the perfect opportunity to organically grow your circle of swinger friends)
The next step was to attend my first Socialswinger event at a club. Well. it was great. I was able to go with the friends I'd previously made which obviously eased any nerves I may have had if I'd gone on my own. It was a great night where I met several people from the site and the whole experience was one I was eager to repeat.
So that's basically how I came to feel that I'm now a bona fide swinger.
Now I'm eager to throw parties for my swinger friends, go to clubs with my swinger friends, attend events with my swinger friends, well you get the drift.
I apologise for the long post and hope there's something in it that you find useful.
I'm afraid I have a tendency to ramble on, especially at four in the morning,
oh, and when I've had a bit of a rest I'll be asking you whether you'd rather spend time with someone who's 32 years old but ignorant, smelly, crude and stupid or someone who's 42 but intelligent, articulate, witty, charming and scrupulously clean