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Brumcouple2013

Brumcouple2013

25 July 2016
634
3,663
57
City
Tamworth
Read the post with interest. Found it very interesting and totally agree with everything said.
Yes we left the site over a year ago, not because we were unhappy with the site, but because we cam disillusioned with the scene, for all the reasons mentioned. The fakes, the ones who want money etc.
But we came back, and when we came back we chose to come back here.
 
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uninnocentiseme

uninnocentiseme

29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Ahabs said:
What I've never understood is when soometimes I chat to a lady, trying to get a feel, and sometijmes the response is "Its my first time here, I'm on my own and so nervous, please respect that and not assume I'm here to play" which is fair enough.
Then other times when I believe I've done exactly as above, the feedback is "Well you never asked me, so just assumed I wouldn't be ready to play - if you don't ask you don't get".

I was at an event a couple of years ago (I think in Essex?) organised on another site, and decent attendance, decent mix of guys girls and couples, and I must admit no bad behaviour by any of the single guys on the night (a first?). Despite that the event received negative feedback from a lot of the couples saying "we were all just there, none of the guys would come ot ask us to play". To which a number of the guys commented reminded them that the promo for the event clearly stated "Guys, please don;'t hound the ladies and couples - if they want you wait to be invited".

My point: much communications is needed, otherwise you get scenarios where the guys are trying to follow rules of the night, yet you have others assuming the chivalrous approach that guys make the first move. Both contradictory, both leading to confusion. I'm no genius figuring out how that will work, but I do happily accept winks as signs "Yes, you may approach" :)
Click to expand...
sounds like a tough dilemma-ry sort of situation...kinda like - you're doomed either way...communication needs to go both ways...but to misconstrue politeness for passivity is plain unfair...
 
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uninnocentiseme

uninnocentiseme

29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Brumcouple2013 said:
Read the post with interest. Found it very interesting and totally agree with everything said.
Yes we left the site over a year ago, not because we were unhappy with the site, but because we cam disillusioned with the scene, for all the reasons mentioned. The fakes, the ones who want money etc.
But we came back, and when we came back we chose to come back here.
Click to expand...
can you define disillusioned in this context- I'm curious to understand what you meant
 
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Brumcouple2013

Brumcouple2013

25 July 2016
634
3,663
57
City
Tamworth
uninnocentiseme said:
can you define disillusioned in this context- I'm curious to understand what you meant
Click to expand...

From a personnel point, yes.

We haven’t been on the scene as long as some (5years). Over time it appears being a swinger as become popular and has attracted those who like the thought of swinging but lose the nerve when it comes to meeting. Then there are the fake profiles, the ones that befriend you to get access to your pictures etc. We have very little spare time due personal commitments, so to spend time chatting to couple etc and plan meets to only be let down is in our eyes unfair. So we became disillusioned.
I must point out st the time we were on other sites, and the issues mentioned were not encountered on here. But we took a break for our own benifit.
Hope that answers your question.
 
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uninnocentiseme

uninnocentiseme

29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Brumcouple2013 said:
From a personnel point, yes.

We haven’t been on the scene as long as some (5years). Over time it appears being a swinger as become popular and has attracted those who like the thought of swinging but lose the nerve when it comes to meeting. Then there are the fake profiles, the ones that befriend you to get access to your pictures etc. We have very little spare time due personal commitments, so to spend time chatting to couple etc and plan meets to only be let down is in our eyes unfair. So we became disillusioned.
I must point out st the time we were on other sites, and the issues mentioned were not encountered on here. But we took a break for our own benifit.
Hope that answers your question.
Click to expand...
So in essence, you projected your own standards of straightforwardness (rightfully so) and then got understandably disappointed.. I Can see how that would put a damper on things...I hope you come across better experiences that restore your faith again ;)
 
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Steed99

Steed99

Oldest Swinger In Town
15 September 2015
2,293
18,278
City
Kettering
This adult lifestyle we are all part of is a curious thing. It a involves the whole spectrum of adults; couples and singles, straight, gay and bi, transsexuals, crossdressers, and no doubt many more that could be listed. What they are involved with and looking for is also wide and varied. And its not just about the sex. The social side of it on websites/social media, in clubs, at socials and many other events can also be great.

Over the past 11 years since my wife passed away, I have been fortunate in spending time in various aspects of the lifestyle and in a privileged position to receive feedback from couples and singles in what they have enjoyed, not been so keen on, and what their expectations could be for the future. That coupled with comments on websites and listening to a couple that produce a podcast about the lifestyle every couple of weeks, has revealed that everyone is looking for and enjoying different things. Real life and families often mean people dip in and out of the lifestyle for many reasons.

In conclusion, I would say, respect others for their likes and dislikes, try and make it clear to others what you are looking for, remember consent and sexual safety are paramount, and most of all, have fun.
 
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L

ltj420

20 February 2019
19
38
31
City
Loughborough
With most scenes they grow and evolve sometimes for the better sometimes for worst, you me it's that swinging has been made mainstream in to make a profit from it (I know not everybody within the swinging scene is not like this) and new tech has made swinging more accessible to the masses, the art some seduction it a dying art, I've been swinging on and off for about 20 years and I've seen it change, I don't think it's as friendly as it was but the world is not as friendly as it was.

A lot of scenes at the moment seems to have money as the driving factor not the views of the members, I'm evolved in two other scenes and have seen them tron apart by by greed but when your mortgage, school fees and new found lifestyle depends on the income you tend to do what's best for your bank balance.

From what I know (please correct me if I'm wrong) the swinging 60 started it, with free love, mind altering drugs, contraception and women's liberation to wife swapping to swipe right.
 
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D

Deleted member 6485

ltj420 said:
With most scenes they grow and evolve sometimes for the better sometimes for worst, you me it's that swinging has been made mainstream in to make a profit from it (I know not everybody within the swinging scene is not like this) and new tech has made swinging more accessible to the masses, the art some seduction it a dying art, I've been swinging on and off for about 20 years and I've seen it change, I don't think it's as friendly as it was but the world is not as friendly as it was.

A lot of scenes at the moment seems to have money as the driving factor not the views of the members, I'm evolved in two other scenes and have seen them tron apart by by greed but when your mortgage, school fees and new found lifestyle depends on the income you tend to do what's best for your bank balance.

From what I know (please correct me if I'm wrong) the swinging 60 started it, with free love, mind altering drugs, contraception and women's liberation to wife swapping to swipe right.
Click to expand...
Just to point a little something out, you state you've been on the scene on and off for 20 years, but your age on your profile says your 26. You may want to get this changed(y)xx
 
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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
ltj420 said:
With most scenes they grow and evolve sometimes for the better sometimes for worst, you me it's that swinging has been made mainstream in to make a profit from it (I know not everybody within the swinging scene is not like this) and new tech has made swinging more accessible to the masses, the art some seduction it a dying art, I've been swinging on and off for about 20 years and I've seen it change, I don't think it's as friendly as it was but the world is not as friendly as it was.

A lot of scenes at the moment seems to have money as the driving factor not the views of the members, I'm evolved in two other scenes and have seen them tron apart by by greed but when your mortgage, school fees and new found lifestyle depends on the income you tend to do what's best for your bank balance.

From what I know (please correct me if I'm wrong) the swinging 60 started it, with free love, mind altering drugs, contraception and women's liberation to wife swapping to swipe right.
Click to expand...
Great post here (aside the age glitch? ;) ) and you've written it very well, pretty much (almost) aligns with my own thoughts and perceptions too. (y) :)
 
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