The DOM vs The "dom"

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Z

zebo

A little something i wrote on this a while ago, on another site :

As there seems to be an influx of pretty young things looking for fun, i thought i would offer a few words of wisdom in what to look out for when choosing from the multitude of eager chaps offering their services. These are the same chaps who seem to have inbuilt radar, and can detect 'shag fodder' within 3 minutes of the young lady opening her fetlife account.

The 'know it all'

these are found throughout the country, usually middle aged men who pounce on young ladies and offer the benefit of their years of experience. One dead giveaway with this type is they have no equipment of their own, so they have to borrow a flogger to demonstrate how it should be used properly, likewise rope ( where they only tie 2 knots ) or using a violet wand ( where they actually zap themselves then laugh it off as 'something you don't want to do' )

The Kinky Shagger

Another frequent visitor to munch's and events, this type prowl around looking for a fresh young victim much like a weasel hunting for a chick, once they get one in their sights, the victim is bombarded by frequent remarks about his prowess in all kinds of sex, the size of his dick, and the way he dismisses all women who reject his advances as 'lezzies'. This type may carry around a token suede flogger or a Dom Stick as a mark of their virility and parade around looking important, after several rejections he may be found at the end of the night, slumped in a chair alone and pissed out of his head, and vomit covering his Dom stick, and a huge erection from the 4 viagra he took in case 'he got lucky'.

The Twue Master

High on protocol, low on brains, usually with a sub who is far more dominant than they are, this type are usually well dressed, more aftershave than is good for the ozone layer, and the verbal dexterity of a house brick. The Master is usually dismissive of all other men, wouldn't be seen dead playing in public ( usually because he has no idea what to do ) and sits at events being waited on hand and food my his slave ( more often than not a large lady with a moustache and B.O. )

The Young Buck

All energy and mouth, usually with a cock as their Fet avatar, and a very annoying text speak method of communication, words like innit, sick, and coolio punctuated with 'an, an, an'. The young buck usually employs the 'steamroller' method of subduing a victim, he doesn't let her get a word in edgeways, and talks over her all night rather that too her, and has no idea of the concept of 'listening'. Usually the victim is that exhausted after such an encounter she submits in the hope he will fall asleep afterwards and shut up.

The Dirty Old Man

This is probably the most sneaky of all types, he has so much equipment to offer a prospective victim that she cannot resist trying something out, which is usually her downfall. He may seem helpfull at first offering to let someone use his stuff, but then he keeps getting even more equipment out of his bag to entice his victims with. The dirty old man is usually seen in the company of a girl half his age, and has a neck covered in love bites.
 
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Therapon

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,404
47,395
Very insightful @zebo and very true in the short time I've been involved I have met each of your types. Fortunately there is normally someone around to rescue me from having to sit through an interminable lecture on how their skills.:sleep:
 
M

meet_the_fockers

I think, now don't all
zebo said:
A little something i wrote on this a while ago, on another site :

As there seems to be an influx of pretty young things looking for fun, i thought i would offer a few words of wisdom in what to look out for when choosing from the multitude of eager chaps offering their services. These are the same chaps who seem to have inbuilt radar, and can detect 'shag fodder' within 3 minutes of the young lady opening her fetlife account.

The 'know it all'

these are found throughout the country, usually middle aged men who pounce on young ladies and offer the benefit of their years of experience. One dead giveaway with this type is they have no equipment of their own, so they have to borrow a flogger to demonstrate how it should be used properly, likewise rope ( where they only tie 2 knots ) or using a violet wand ( where they actually zap themselves then laugh it off as 'something you don't want to do' )

The Kinky Shagger

Another frequent visitor to munch's and events, this type prowl around looking for a fresh young victim much like a weasel hunting for a chick, once they get one in their sights, the victim is bombarded by frequent remarks about his prowess in all kinds of sex, the size of his dick, and the way he dismisses all women who reject his advances as 'lezzies'. This type may carry around a token suede flogger or a Dom Stick as a mark of their virility and parade around looking important, after several rejections he may be found at the end of the night, slumped in a chair alone and pissed out of his head, and vomit covering his Dom stick, and a huge erection from the 4 viagra he took in case 'he got lucky'.

The Twue Master

High on protocol, low on brains, usually with a sub who is far more dominant than they are, this type are usually well dressed, more aftershave than is good for the ozone layer, and the verbal dexterity of a house brick. The Master is usually dismissive of all other men, wouldn't be seen dead playing in public ( usually because he has no idea what to do ) and sits at events being waited on hand and food my his slave ( more often than not a large lady with a moustache and B.O. )

The Young Buck

All energy and mouth, usually with a cock as their Fet avatar, and a very annoying text speak method of communication, words like innit, sick, and coolio punctuated with 'an, an, an'. The young buck usually employs the 'steamroller' method of subduing a victim, he doesn't let her get a word in edgeways, and talks over her all night rather that too her, and has no idea of the concept of 'listening'. Usually the victim is that exhausted after such an encounter she submits in the hope he will fall asleep afterwards and shut up.

The Dirty Old Man

This is probably the most sneaky of all types, he has so much equipment to offer a prospective victim that she cannot resist trying something out, which is usually her downfall. He may seem helpfull at first offering to let someone use his stuff, but then he keeps getting even more equipment out of his bag to entice his victims with. The dirty old man is usually seen in the company of a girl half his age, and has a neck covered in love bites.
Click to expand...
Brilliant!!
 
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Z

zebo

as a follow up to the recent guide to the male version, due to popular demand we at The Idiots Guide have indeed made a female version of this popular handbook, listing the attributes the female predators use to ensnare unsuspecting young bloke's.

The Siren (meaning big mouth )

This type is the ex pub landlady type of Domme, you can hear her coming from 5 miles away, 2 miles away from the smell of her perfume, and a mile away due the smoke plume from the fag glued to her bottom lip. Loud and obnoxious she usually wears a corset two sizes to small so her ample bosom juts out 2 feet in front of her ( also used as a tray for the pints of bitter and ash tray ). Her neon red lipstick is part of her ritual plumage, along with the blue eye shadow applied with a brickies trowel, many young men think 'the siren' is winking at them, but its an optical illusion caused by the fag smoke drifting into her eye. Although visually alarming, this type is usually harmless, as they consume so much alcohol, they usually pass out after an hour and can be found slumped in the toilets with their open crotch red g string cutting off the circulation to their legs, and the fag end still glued to the bottom lip.


The Bitch

A very sinister Domme, usually dressed in a black body stocking with her goods on display, this type usually goes after the more affluent, middle aged sub, full of promise but lacking in 'action', an expert in 'tie and tease' and fetishes that involve little or no body contact. The Bitch will take her sub out shopping to the most expensive and elegant shops and restaurants until his bank manager calls him in for a 'little chat', at which point she moves on to her next victim.

The 'drill' sergeant ( not dubious!)

A very specialised Domme, demure, petite and elegant, immaculately dressed in either leather or latex, the only thing that gives her away is the 14 inch strap-on around her waist, giving her the 'tripod' effect. A very popular Domme who talks pure filth but in an extremely classy way, kind and considerate but with a ruthless and sadistic streak ( usually found with dildo's impregnated with deep heat, or chili paste )

The Shrew

Usually standing 5 foot tall, with an expression that would curdle milk at a glance, the shrew usually has her long suffering hubby in tow ( he is the little old bloke in the french maid's uniform carrying all her kit ). She is a 24/7 Domme, barking out orders throughout the day to her sissy partner and the assorted sissy helpers she has drafted in to do every piece of housework imaginable. The shrew has no discernible sense of humour, she has worn the same scowl for 50 years and is comfortable with it.

The Twue Domme

the female version of the twue dom, she knows everything about everything, always brings her young virile male sub ( Kurt ) into an event on a collar and lead. The Twue Domme usually wears leopard print lycra leggings and fake fur, wears the market copy of Channel No.5 which she swears is the real thing. The Twue Domme has tried her hands at Pro Domme work, but none of her clients ever came back for a second appointment, so now she offers advice to all other Domme's instead. Always drinks champagne ( asti if she is buying her own ) and smokes either Sobranie coloured cigarette's or cigars to show how cultured she is.

The Fridge

so named because she has had more meat in her than an abbatoir's fridge, this lady's idea of a good night is a vindaloo hot enough to burn the skin off a welders arse and 5 cans of special brew, hot and horny, this type of domme can be a lot of fun, but tends to loose her appeal at 7 am when snoring and soiling her knickers simultaneously. Its a very brave man who disturbs the fridge's beauty sleep, not known for her conversational skills in the morning, her preferred means of communications is a growl for no, or grunt for yes. Make up is in the style of The Siren, but she has still to master the concept of smudge proof lipstick and non run mascara, and still uses medicated toilet paper ( google izal ) as although it has little absorbancy, the chaffing effect is good for removing the hard skin on her bum. Her idea of sensation play is if someone is shagging her, she can occasionally feel it touch the sides.
 
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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,134
95,577
This is absolutely class!! :D


zebo said:
as a follow up to the recent guide to the male version, due to popular demand we at The Idiots Guide have indeed made a female version of this popular handbook, listing the attributes the female predators use to ensnare unsuspecting young bloke's.

The Siren (meaning big mouth )

This type is the ex pub landlady type of Domme, you can hear her coming from 5 miles away, 2 miles away from the smell of her perfume, and a mile away due the smoke plume from the fag glued to her bottom lip. Loud and obnoxious she usually wears a corset two sizes to small so her ample bosom juts out 2 feet in front of her ( also used as a tray for the pints of bitter and ash tray ). Her neon red lipstick is part of her ritual plumage, along with the blue eye shadow applied with a brickies trowel, many young men think 'the siren' is winking at them, but its an optical illusion caused by the fag smoke drifting into her eye. Although visually alarming, this type is usually harmless, as they consume so much alcohol, they usually pass out after an hour and can be found slumped in the toilets with their open crotch red g string cutting off the circulation to their legs, and the fag end still glued to the bottom lip.


The Bitch

A very sinister Domme, usually dressed in a black body stocking with her goods on display, this type usually goes after the more affluent, middle aged sub, full of promise but lacking in 'action', an expert in 'tie and tease' and fetishes that involve little or no body contact. The Bitch will take her sub out shopping to the most expensive and elegant shops and restaurants until his bank manager calls him in for a 'little chat', at which point she moves on to her next victim.

The 'drill' sergeant ( not dubious!)

A very specialised Domme, demure, petite and elegant, immaculately dressed in either leather or latex, the only thing that gives her away is the 14 inch strap-on around her waist, giving her the 'tripod' effect. A very popular Domme who talks pure filth but in an extremely classy way, kind and considerate but with a ruthless and sadistic streak ( usually found with dildo's impregnated with deep heat, or chili paste )

The Shrew

Usually standing 5 foot tall, with an expression that would curdle milk at a glance, the shrew usually has her long suffering hubby in tow ( he is the little old bloke in the french maid's uniform carrying all her kit ). She is a 24/7 Domme, barking out orders throughout the day to her sissy partner and the assorted sissy helpers she has drafted in to do every piece of housework imaginable. The shrew has no discernible sense of humour, she has worn the same scowl for 50 years and is comfortable with it.

The Twue Domme

the female version of the twue dom, she knows everything about everything, always brings her young virile male sub ( Kurt ) into an event on a collar and lead. The Twue Domme usually wears leopard print lycra leggings and fake fur, wears the market copy of Channel No.5 which she swears is the real thing. The Twue Domme has tried her hands at Pro Domme work, but none of her clients ever came back for a second appointment, so now she offers advice to all other Domme's instead. Always drinks champagne ( asti if she is buying her own ) and smokes either Sobranie coloured cigarette's or cigars to show how cultured she is.

The Fridge

so named because she has had more meat in her than an abbatoir's fridge, this lady's idea of a good night is a vindaloo hot enough to burn the skin off a welders arse and 5 cans of special brew, hot and horny, this type of domme can be a lot of fun, but tends to loose her appeal at 7 am when snoring and soiling her knickers simultaneously. Its a very brave man who disturbs the fridge's beauty sleep, not known for her conversational skills in the morning, her preferred means of communications is a growl for no, or grunt for yes. Make up is in the style of The Siren, but she has still to master the concept of smudge proof lipstick and non run mascara, and still uses medicated toilet paper ( google izal ) as although it has little absorbancy, the chaffing effect is good for removing the hard skin on her bum. Her idea of sensation play is if someone is shagging her, she can occasionally feel it touch the sides.
Click to expand...
 
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zebo

Awwww @Therapon i was going to bring this along for you to try out, its a CBT vice and you can attach a tens unit to the spikes for an extra buzz.

DSCF0091.JPG
 
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Therapon

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
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47,395
No it's ok, I could go bus spotting, or watch some paint dry, pick the fluff out of my navel, all seem considerably safer. Then again I could just call in some back-up.:D
 
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