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The Hotel Room - an erotic short story

Discussion in 'Fantasy & Story Forums' started by Driftwood70, 23 October 2015.

Did you enjoy the story?

Poll closed 27 November 2015.
  1. Yes, very much

  2. Yes, but needs some work

  3. It was Ok

  4. Could be better

  5. No, hated it.

  1. As I mentioned before my previous short story "Emily" I like to role-play online.Sometimes that role-play inspires me to write short stories based on them. Here is one such story. Obviously its not identical and I haven't mentioned anybody but it is inspired by them.

    Warning - it is rather explicit, But again I doubt anything a "swinging" community can't handle.

    I'm putting a short poll on this one. (Gulp) and I want you to be brutally honest. It will help my writing in future.

    I hope you enjoy it.

    The Hotel Room

    Did you wonder what it would be like? You’ve only spoke to me once before you agreed to meet. You felt a compulsion, a sensation that you wanted this badly.

    We made it to the hotel room. Were you nervous, excited or both? Did you think I would turn into a wild animal? Get you to do things you weren’t sure about? Or was I more the gentle lover? The perfect gentleman? Was you pleased I was something in between?

    Did you plan to turn your back on me, then take a sip of your drink? Or do you prefer that first contact from behind? I held your waist, breathing on your neck. I kissed it, and buried my face in your long hair. Did you notice, I breathed in your aroma, your shampoo, your perfume? Or were you concentrating on my hands as they encircled you, running across your stomach?. Were you surprised when I grabbed your breasts? I thought I heard a little moan. I noticed you closed your eyes and parted those sweet lips, running your tongue across your teeth. It turned me on. I had to push into you, pull you tighter to me. I got hard, quickly. I wanted you, right then.

    I let go and I took your hand. I led you to the bed. Laid you down and then I climbed on top of you. Were you surprised at the tenderness of my kiss? The soft touch of my fingers, as I caressed your cheek? Did you mean to let out a loud moan as I softly kissed your neck?

    I had to undress you, you were very willing. I helped you off with your top and you pulled my t-shirt over my head. Your breasts heavy in your lacy bra, I just had to kiss the exposed skin. I wondered if you’d let me run my tongue between them, I decided to do it, I never expected the cries of “suck them, suck them hard.”

    I quickly took your bra off and did suck them. Your pink nipples hardening as I sucked harder and you grabbed my head pushing it down. I sucked even harder, I even bit them gently. I went from one to the other, then pushing them together I licked both nipples, at one point I managed to have both touching my tongue at the same time.

    This drove you wild. I wondered whether to continue but I also wanted to explore the rest of your body. I kissed down your stomach. You arched your back, and I held your waist as I flicked my tongue into your navel. I seemed to know where to push your buttons, but in truth I was winging it. Every new sensation seemed to elicit a new response whether it was a cry, a moan or an expletive laden shout of pleasure.

    I wanted to pull your skirt off, I knew you would be wet. I wanted to taste it. I knew you’d be sweet. I undid your skirt and you lifted so I could slide it over your hips. I slipped it down your legs and over your feet. You still had your high heels on and I wondered if I should leave them on. Your sheer stockings held up by your garter belt and lacy thong above, turned me on even more. I decided just to take off your thong.

    You were wet, very wet. I couldn’t wait to taste it. You looked down at me pleading me to lick you but I like to take my time and I would get to it soon enough. I pulled your thong down. Peeling it out of your crack and sliding it over your thighs. You moaned even louder. You were so horny, right then. I almost buried my face between your legs but I love foreplay and I knew I could get you even higher.

    I started by kissing your thighs, little butterfly kisses, my lips barely touching you as I gently kissed both, outside and in. My intention was to work my way inwards and eventually taste that sweet nectar. I pushed your legs wider. Did you mean to shout “Fuck” right then? I moved closer inwards with my tongue and lips. I breathed heavily on purpose so you could feel the hot sensation on your clit. You had your arms up behind your head. How long did you wait for me to finally lick you? Did it seem an age? It was only a few minutes in truth. Were you waiting for my tongue on your clit? Were you surprised when I started much lower, kissing the little gap below your wet hole and your other?

    I like to start there, it’s a surprise and its amazing how tender and sensitive it is. You shuddered as my lips touched you. Your whole body shook, actually. You might have missed my smile as I then flattened my tongue and licked upwards slowly. All the way up to your clit. I felt you tremble as I licked between your lips. I licked down again and then back up, a little quicker than the last. I was right about you tasting sweet.

    Another series of long licks, harder, faster, the little whimper you let out, was sexy as hell. I love to lick and I think I’m good at it. I had a few more surprises for you. At the top of the last long lick, I sucked hard on your clit feeling it throb in my mouth. I nibbled it much to your pleasure and then swirled my tongue around and over it. I looked up at your face, contorted in ways that only come from extreme pleasure.

    I sucked in one of your lips. You cried out “Oh fuck” again. I pulled on it, stretching it until it could stretch no more, then I let it slip out of my mouth. I sucked on the other lip, doing the same, pulling, stretching and letting it go. Then I decided to lick down your very wet slit, down to your pulsing hole. I licked around it, I think a woman should have every part of her pussy licked, I’m considerate that way.

    I licked over your hole, your moaning so loud, I’m sure they could hear us in the hallway, but I didn’t care as I plunged my tongue inside you. You almost kicked me in the head as your leg spasmed. You didn’t though and I tongue-fucked you for a good two minutes. Then I quickly pulled out and licked the little gap below again. This time you did kick me, but it was only on the shoulder. I have a bruise where your heel dug into me, afterwards. I wondered how much more you could take so I decided to concentrate on your clit.

    I licked quickly up to it and started to tongue it. “Oh shit” you shouted at that point and I knew I could carry on. I licked you hard, I licked you fast. Do you remember grabbing my head forcing me down? I had to open my mouth, as I couldn’t breathe.

    You let go of me, and pushed yourself into my face instead, I took the opportunity to slip a finger inside you. You screamed “Oh fuck, yes” so I decided to try two fingers, turning them around so I could go deep, feeling the hot jelly-like walls as I went even deeper. I licked and fingered you much to your delight and you called me “baby.” I liked that.

    I felt you tense up as your orgasm came, The first of the night, it wouldn’t be the last. You gushed over my fingers and sprayed my face, you were even sweeter than I dreamed. I lapped you up messily, soaking my face in your juices. Then you took control. You pulled me up to you, kissing me, tasting yourself on my lips, licking my face clean and then you said “It’s my turn”

    I didn’t know what to expect, but I was excited. You motioned me to stand up. I did and you knelt in front of me. Without a word you undid my belt.and then you slid it right out of the loops. I hoped you didn’t have other uses for it as I’m not into pain, but you threw it onto the chair in the corner. You quickly undid my jeans and pulled them down. I wore those tight white boxers, I promised. You pulled them down too. You were very slow though, teasing me, kissing the outside, making me harder and then with a big smile, you released my cock.

    I hope you weren’t expecting some massive thing. I’m not a porn star. I’ve never had any complaints either, though. You grabbed it in your hand, licking the tip, I jerked and you giggled. It was a sweet little sound. You enveloped the head and started to move your lips up and down it, getting faster and tighter. At one point you even took me in completely, your lips touching my balls. Then you sneakily licked them underneath. Then looking right at me you pulled back, your tongue on the underside of my shaft, as you slid it along until I was out of your mouth.

    You held my cock and kissed my balls, I was glad I had shaved, otherwise you might not have licked them for as long as you did. You probably wouldn’t have sucked them as vigorously as you did either. That was amazing, I felt close to cumming but I didn’t want to yet. You made it very difficult for me though, especially when you licked from my balls to my head then devoured me furiously, sucking and jerking. It was glorious. You said you’d give me an amazing blow-job. I never dreamed it would be this good. When you finally let go, your mouth was wet, saliva dripping from it, you looked up at me and whispered “Fuck me.”

    I didn’t need a second invitation. I kicked my remaining clothes from my ankles, and shoes and socks off. Naked I climbed on to the bed. You were already on it laying back, waiting. Your legs spread invitingly, still in your garter belt, stockings and shiny black heels. I climbed on top of you. You sighed again. I pushed my wet cock into your even wetter pussy. You whimpered as it slid in slowly, inch by inch, until my balls touched your skin. I held it there a moment, I tensed it, filling you as my cock straightened and expanded. I slid out slowly, until just my head was inside you. I teased you, making you silently beg for it. I tensed it again, stretching your hole and then I thrust in hard, all the way.

    You let out a scream. I ignored it. I thrust hard and deep again and again, I got up a good rhythm and you responded by wrapping your legs around me, pulling me in with each thrust. Your arms around my shoulders. Your long nails, digging into me. I fucked you like this for a good while. I had wanted you so badly since that first picture you had sent me. The one with your long hair blowing. I had sent you one back, nervous of your reaction, but you liked it and I always think I look terrible in photographs.

    Suddenly you rolled me, I didn’t know you had that much strength. I came out of you and you climbed on top of me, looking down at me. You lowered yourself onto me and rode me hard, the slap of our body’s with your moans and my grunts, the only the sound in the room. Your moans got louder. Your tits were bouncing and I pushed my face into them, pulling you down on top of me. I tried to suck on one as you bounced on my cock. But you were wild. I gave up and instead started to thrust up as you bounced. You came down harder, yelling “Yes, yes, yes” as you rode my thrusting cock. I remember you climbing off, grabbing it and sucking it hard and long. How I never came is a mystery to me, maybe it was because I didn’t want it to stop.

    You let me go, getting on all fours on the bed. I got behind you, entering you smoothly. I fucked you hard, harder than before; you bunched the duvet in your fists as I grabbed your waist and pounded you from behind. Your screams were so loud, you swore a lot. “Fuck, oh shit, fuck me, fuck me hard, baby.” I had read up about only using my hips instead of my upper body, it was supposed to drive you deeper and as you used less energy, for longer. I hope I did it right. You orgasmed again somewhere in the middle of this. I felt you tighten around my cock, and felt the warm gush around it as you came hard. I wondered if you’d squirt but you didn’t

    I felt my own orgasm close. This time I was going to cum. I shouted as much. You pulled away, turning around. “In my mouth” you yelled. I wanked it hard as you opened your mouth. I hoped there would be a lot. Sometimes you just don’t know. It could be a blast or a dribble, As I came, I jerked my body putting all my effort into it. There was a lot. A jet hit the back of your throat and I jerked again, sending some over your lips and nose. You laughed and then took me in your hands and sucked me clean. You opened your mouth for me to show you had swallowed. I was impressed.

    I collapsed on the bed beside you as you came close and wrapping your legs over me. You lay in my arms. You’d kicked off your heels just after. We stayed like that for what seemed an eternity before we climbed under the covers. You pulled your stockings and garter belt off, lying naked curled up on my chest. We fell asleep that way.

    We had another session in the middle of the night such was our sexual appetites. We had a sixty-nine and tried numerous positions. We even did it on the chair and the floor. We both came again. Not much this time for me, but you gushed like the previous times. We fell asleep again about 4am.

    In the morning, you woke me up with a blow-job. I lifted the covers to watch you. I’m really hard in the mornings so we took advantage of it. I wondered if you’d like anal but I decided to save it for another time. After this short session, I took a shower. I half expected you to climb in with me but you never. I might suggest that next time. You had brought a change of clothes. You still looked fantastic in your tight jeans and even tighter top. I kissed you long and hard, as we knew we had to go. You said you’d be in touch and left. I left soon after.

    That was 3 weeks ago, I haven’t heard from you. I didn’t want to text you too many times. Just the odd “Hey” or “Hi babe” but you never got back to me. Was it not as good as you had hoped? You seemed to enjoy it, I know I did. Is that it? Have you moved onto another guy? If you have then that’s ok. Just tell me.

    My phone just bleeped. I look down on it, a large smile spreading across my face. She’s messaged me.

    “Hi baby” it read “Are you free at the weekend?

    The End
    Last edited by a moderator: 26 October 2015
  2. Admin

    Admin Admin

    An excellent read Mr Driftwood...
    The only criticism I have, is paragraphs. Or lack of :oops:
    Made it a bit tricky to read... sorry old chum

    But yeah a very worthy read indeed! I love the alarm clock in the morning :whistle: :D
  3. Yeah, I wasn't sure about the paragraphs, but it's supposed to be a stream of consiousness as he waits by his phone. You don't know that until the very end. So I left it the way it was, splitting it into two. With a small bit at the end. I might change the paragraph style. That's why I want feedback. More idea's put forward, the better a writer I become.

    Glad you enjoyed it though. Thanks. I'll be tidying up a few more I have in the coming weeks. One's set in a medieval setting.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Even line spacing would have been sufficient in this case, as a block of text that large without line spacing is challenging to read, but that's the only thing I can critique about it and again, that's probably a personal preference.
    Besides that, I found it quite hot to read to be fair.. ;)
  5. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    Brilliant but agree more paragraphs needed :love::love:xx
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Yep, that's a common theme. Can be fixed. :) Will repost it again with a better structure and the one Question mark I missed out. Lol
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    haha (y)(y)xx
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Very good, paragraphs yes. Doesn't make much difference to me though. I rarely come up for air!!
    • Like Like x 3
  9. Like I said in earlier post I was going for stream of consiousness while he sits waiting for the phone, running the things over in his mind. It looked better in Word. Lol. But I agree I'll change the structure, to make it easier to read. Thanks for liking it. Can't wait to get my favourite story on here for you all to read. But I want to get a few smaller ones first to gauge reaction. So far so good.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I've revised the story, placing it into paragraph's that are easier to read. As a result I have made some tiny tweaks to it as well so the structure is more sound. Not so much stream of consciousness now but proper sentences. I'll post it in a few minutes in a new thread, because I cant edit this one as the there is a time limit on it. Can you just hang fire posting because I'll probably have to post it in three bits instead of two and a message in between will be a bit jarring. Thanks. I'll also repost the poll again.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Admin

    Admin Admin

    I can adjust your permissions if you want Driftwood? Or, send me the edited version and I will copy/paste it for you?

    PS the restriction is there for a reason of course. If we left it open for always editable, can you imagine if a flame took place? ai ai ai!
    But let me know and I will help.
  12. There is a limit to number of characters, and I as I used two posts to get the story in last time, I may need three or four, so it might not be possible to edit the old thread, unless you have some way of doing it. Is it possible to merge the comments from this thread to the new one. I'll just hang fire from posting while you reply.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Of course, I can edit it and adjust it as needed.
    And yes we have limits to thread text for two reasons; 1, Mobile users and 2, spam..
    I can merge the comments yes no problem (y).
  14. Ok then I'll send you the story. Er....how do I do that? Do I PM it to you?
  15. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Yes by all means PM it to me if you wish...
    I may adjust your account and give you a custom permissions set if you are to write more and add more content here Mr Driftwood as it may be of huge benefit for you.

    So yeas by all means, PM it to me or add it here and tell me exactly what you want and how you want it edited and I'll do it for you..
    Many thanks
    Admin :)
  16. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Done, hope this is okay for you.? :)
  17. That was quick. Brilliant, thanks so much. :)
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Admin

    Admin Admin

    You are very welcome.. (y) Aye I don't mess around :D ;)
    • Like Like x 1
  19. No you certainly don't, well not here anyway. Haha.
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Meandlis

    Meandlis PV Sprtr

    Ah, that is much better.

    I tried to read it in its original format but it just gave me a headache.... I didn't realise that there was such a great bit of writing there! Well done @Driftwood70
    • Like Like x 2
  21. Ah, sorry about that it, it was a decision I toyed with as the ramblings of a stream of consciousness, it obviously didn't work that way but that's what comments are for and I'm glad you enjoyed it this time.
  22. Meandlis

    Meandlis PV Sprtr

    I think it reads much better as a stream-of-consciousness piece now tbh
    • Like Like x 1
  23. I agree, I also noticed a few things I could change too. Quite happy with it :cool:
    • Like Like x 2
  24. Admin

    Admin Admin

    And so you should be.. ;)
    • Like Like x 1
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