Trust me meeting for a social first more than a quick drink might be the norm here but most sites meeting for a meal or whatever is far from the norm. We have tried both and meeting beforehand is great if you have plenty of free time on your hands but lets face it most folks dont have it.
Oh, I do trust you on that, certainly. And also, its probably worth noting that - as with so much - single M are the outliers, at least in my experience of listening to single F, in that there’s far more single M looking for quick drink/no drink before sex than either single F or MF.
Whilst i agree that more blokes than women are looking for such things. Personally thinking most blokes cant be arsed with putting in the leg work to get a meet to the point of not even trying to compose even a half decent message and then wonder why couples dont invite them around.
Yes mostly likely and I should imagine so!
Agreed and it's also the exact reason that social meets occur in the first place too. Better to be sure than not... for all parties concerned.
Thats why we always meet for a drink first, Just to make sureYes mostly likely and I should imagine so!
Agreed and it's also the exact reason that social meets occur in the first place too. Better to be sure than not... for all parties concerned.
Okay, where do I start... thoughts all over the place so I'll try to get some sense of order and finish at the start
Let me preface that most of my swinging experience over the years has been based on other sites I've used (and there have been quite a few - you should see my internet bookmarks!) so anything I say is almost not an SS experience.
When contacting people (single ladies, or couples), it is ALWAYS daunting for single guys to make the first move. And yet it is almost always expected of single guys to make the first move. Throw in the added complication of that first message being "original" (how many original openers can you get between any given site where half the population are single guys?) and this presents its own initial challenge.
Then there's the time-gap: I have to remember that there's a real life out there, so just cause I haven't received a reply after a week, doesn't necessarily mean they aren't interested... the recipient might just have stuff going on in the real world. The trick is to keep an eye on the "Sent items" folder. Once I see my message deleted without a reply, I make a note not to contact again, as I don't assume the recipient is prepared to send a "Thanks, but no thanks" to every single they wish not to pursue further.
Once over that hurdle and a reply is received, the key is to keep calm, and try (as I remind myself) to not to rush a "Wanna meet??" line. Get the person's attention, take interest in them as a person, see if can give them a reason to want to meet. I always tell myself "I am one in thousands of guys, they could pick any guy they want... so what do I have to offer to make them want to keep talking to me?"
Hopefully I make a decent impression online, with a view to a face to face. Whether that's at an upcoming organised social, or a private "coffee" meet. NB: Anytime I say "coffee" meet I usaully mean respective parties meeting maybe in town at a pub or starbucks over lunch/quiet drink, or literarily coffee. Anything that happens after that is purely incidental of the individual arrangement, but not necessarily the agenda.
When I meet new people, I'm ALWAYS nervous as hell with usually one of two results: I either clam up and sit by msyself quietly, giving the false impression I'm an antisocial odd-ball. Or I go all hyper and talk a-mile-a-minute. Sometimes, both.
I have found as a single guy, when typically meeting single ladies, the onus is on the guy to bring the entertainment, start, hold and keep the conversatino going, yet without hogging the conversation so letting the lady express herself: I'm still struggling to strike that balance. With couples, I've found engaging both hubby and wife causes the conversatin to "bounce" along between all 3, so less likelihood of freezing, even though still possible. Its an intentional strategy,... once I get over the initial "clam up".
Somewhere along the line with all the nerves, all the adrenaline, all the build up over time, the aim is to remember to be chill: we are already here. Hopefully a spark of interest has built up over time (assuming all the hurdles above have been successfully tackled) and everyone is keen to see if the online/social spark translates to the physical. This is where staying perfectly calm and in control of ones pulse, heart rate and breathing is probably most important. Months of engagement all leading up to this moment.
And then you blow your load in the first 10 seconds.
MOTM
That is a horribly accurate phrase and I’m kind of weirded out how well it applies.
MOTM
The verification system is crap there, you can get verified by using a body shot without a face, how can that show you are the person behind the account with super model pics, yet people believe this.
The number of photos I've seen and thought "Hang on, that's a porn vid still! I know cause I downloaded that porn vid!"The verification system is crap there, you can get verified by using a body shot without a face, how can that show you are the person behind the account with super model pics, yet people believe this.
MOTM
MOTM
Fan the dying embers of lust with a last ditch effort then if there is no hope of resuscitation move on and dont waste your or their time, as time is enjoying not trying. Xx G
Totally agreed. Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees aye
x
Usual caveat, but...
I would at least keep the lines of communication open before re-evaluating the situation and making it evidently clear you're moving on/have moved on etc.
xxx