As
@EyesOpening has said joining this site was the first step into the swinging world for us. Although we know many sexual adventurers - the alternative scene (in this context - goths, metallers and such likes) is full of people who have polyamorous and open relationships but we didn't know any swingers. I read some articles and then we came across this site - I read through a lot of the public forums to try to figure out what was going on... It looked good so we jumped in.
The thing that appealed was the concept of community - we didn't want to be on something similar to a dating site, we wanted to be part of a group of people that knew each other... And maybe, or maybe don't have sex.
My preconceptions of swinging came mainly from literotica and some articles I read and some of them were far out, as far as being on here has suggested to me in any case:
a) I wasn't expecting to be one of the younger ones - some stuff I'd read suggested an average age of late 30s. Looking back the article I read this in was written by someone whose main involvement in swinging was going to clubs with her partner rather than private meets - maybe the average age in clubs is less, as is the case in usual night clubs? I didn't feel particularly young at the VA.
b) I was expecting more of an emphasis on the body beautiful, I was worried about this in fact - I was concerned about not being attractive enough.
c) I wasn't expecting the single guys, I think single guys are brilliant, I just assumed it was a couples thing.
d) Something specific to this site is that I have got very used to the 'me and my friends in our bubble of opinion', there is a massive breadth of age and background here and there comes with that a huge variety of opinion. To be honest I massively disagree with a lot of people on here about a number of things, and them with me.... But for the most part that is cool cos the emphasis is finding the common ground, respect and friendship - not on picking people apart and flaming them. I like that the site builds people up, is friendly, is fun and funny. Unlike sites like Facebook where it can feel like to disagree is to start a fight and humour can be lost in trying to be everything to everyone.
e) I didn't realise there would be such variety in expectations and what swinging means to different people. I suppose I thought it was mainly couples playing with other couples but there are loads of variations. And then some want to have sex with friends, others want more detachment. And then there are the places where it crosses with BDSM, kinks and fetishes - so many permutations.
f) Something specific to the site is that I wasn't expecting to discover so many genuine, caring, funny and wonderful people - there are some truly brilliant people on here. I think it really helps that
@Admin and
@Pearls are two of the most caring people I have ever encountered, the passion they have for creating a wonderful space for swingers and the effort they put in, the detail and the attention creates an ethos that attracts great people and encourages considerate, friendly and respectful behaviour. Good environments bring out the best in the people that are in them - I think there are people here who may have behaved differently elsewhere but they adapt to the environment and are happier for it.
So yeah, i find it hard to separate the site out from swinging in general but those are some of my thoughts