As pearls said above hun.. think long and hard, the hormonal inplant worked fine for me, for years.. no side effects, its a fairly long term solution..
On the otherhand it made my daughter have 3wks of bleeding out of 4.
Mr F had the snip after his our/his first child at 28!! Way to young in my eyes.. his Dr tried in vain to put him off... but he was adamant.. difference being we had, had a child.. x
I'm going to say some things which may offend parents, but this is how I truly feel about children.
The thing is, I'm 30 this year. I've been having the child argument with myself since I was 18. So it's not as if in the past two weeks I've thought "nah, can't be arsed". I've been thinking about this and discussing this with my parents for 12 years. Parents are completely on board, and they support me and tell me that "having kids is not the be all and end all".
I see children and families out and about and it makes me feel physically sick. I cannot imagine myself being tied down for x amount of years with a kid, let alone two or three. I don't want the responsibility of being "the grown up". I like my freedom. I like being able to book a weekend in Iceland and pissing off without thinking "right, I need the baby bag, pushchair, will I have enough nappies? I'll need to take 8 change of clothes, is the hotel child friendly, can I take the kids out to see the Northern Lights...well actually, that's going to be late at night and they're going to be tired and crabby in the morning. What about whale watching? Will they appreciate that? Probably not or they might vomit everywhere. I need to book a child seat on the flight, I need to take the moses basket, toys, colouring books...can we go out for a meal? is the place child friendly? Will they have a child's menu? My child is a fussy eater, they won't eat any of that. How much will that cost me? What if they show me up? I want to explore on the evening, I can't leave child in the hotel room asleep unsupervised, can I? What about going backpacking 6 months in Australia? Can I carry my gear and child's stuff at the same time? What happens when they get blisters? Will they appreciate seeing the countryside? The exploring side of it? "Moooom, I'm tired, my feet hurt, I want to go home, why can't I touch this snake? I'm thirsty? I'm too hot, I'm too cold, I'm bored, why are we looking at some rock?" etc etc blah blah blah...." I don't want that responsbility and thinking of "the extras" that come with children. I like my freedom and not thinking of someone else, constantly.
And I don't think that it's fair, I have to pawn off said child onto mother who is unwell herself, can do without the extra stress and strain of having to look after baby, or toddler, or child whilst I go to work or uni or gym or weekend away.
I've been thinking about the reason why I would ever want a child and the only thing I can come up with....is so that my mom can hold her grandchild. That's not an excuse, is it? Surely not?
Who actually likes children in public places anyway? When you go out shopping, you really don't want a child having a tantrum in the middle of the shop because it can't have a toy. Do I want that embarassment? No. I just want to get my bread and milk and get out. What about the cinema? I want to go and enjoy and have a bit of time to myself without some berk who thinks that punching out a couple of kids makes them seem all high and mighty, allows their children to talk throughout the film, climb all over the chairs, disturb everyone else and they don't do a damn thing. Same on a plane. Same in a restaurant. Same at Alton Towers, a zoo, a museum, an airport, a shopping centre, the park, motorway services, McDonalds, the duck ponds...even sat in my own bloody garden! The neighbours both sides have kids and grandkids, and every 16 or 17 years, there's a new baby. For the past 15 years I've lived in my house, I've been unable to sit in my own garden throughout the summer. Why? Because I don't want to hear babies, toddlers, children, teenagers screaming from 8am until 10pm. Do I want that? No I fucking well don't!
There's a couple of groups of FB and plenty of websites, news articles etc. in which parents describe how they regret having children. I'll clarify and say, it's not the child themselves which they regret, it's the
decision to have the child. I read all these stories and they more or less say or express the same which I've said here. They miss their freedom. The love out of the relationship has gone. The attention they used to put on each other has gone. They have no time to themselves. They can't afford to do anything or go anywhere. They haven't been able to spend time together since baby came along. He's out at work, she's in with baby all day and she's lonely. She needs proper adult conversation and talk to an adult instead of chatting baby shit all day. He's not supportive, he doesn't understand how she feels. He didn't want the baby originally, she was desperate, now she's left him and he's left holding the baby....the list goes on and on and it all resonates with me. Everything that all these parents are describing, are the things that I don't want.
I do not want children.
...
