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The Contraception Thread

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
Okay, alright...but before you all moan and click somewhere else, we need to talk about this.
We are all responsible adults (almost!) and we have an active lifestyle where we need to take care of ourselves.

Now, I'd like to think that as responsible adults we take the necessary precautions to prevent pregancies, infections and marmite lovers being with marmite haters (the kids would be freaks I tells ya!)

But I've come across this webite which sells condoms at a waaaay cheaper price than in the shops and in bulk too: Condoms, Lube & Home STI Test Retailer | Freedoms Shop
But there's also lube, STI test kits, sex health blog....the works. It's actually, quite a good site.

But I'd also like to know what other methods of contraception people have used and the pros and cons. I'm asking this because I don't want children. Never have done. I've thought about it since I was 18 and I cannot come up with a decent excuse to have children. Bottom line, I like my freedom.

Now, today I was talking to the nurse at my GP and she suggested I have the implant. I've never read up about the implant and I'd like to know if anyone uses it, how are they? Does it lower sex drive? Does it work? Does it hurt? Likewise with the UID, pill, diaphragm, vasectomy, vaginal ring.

I'm interested! Let's talk about sex, baby!
 
T

Tigress

If it's difficult to talk about then I apologise, but did you voluntarily get your tubes done?
I want to be sterilised myself, but I don't think they'll do it because I'm too young :(
I was about 38 I think. I'd already had three children and was certain I didn't want any more. I'm more than happy to talk about it xxx
 
T

Tigress

If it's difficult to talk about then I apologise, but did you voluntarily get your tubes done?
I want to be sterilised myself, but I don't think they'll do it because I'm too young :(
I can see why they could be worried. You could try the copper coil as it doesn't have hormones and is easy to have fitted and taken out (if it doesn't agree with you)

You may change your mind about children. It happens...
 
M

meet_the_fockers

I used to use a hormonal implant.. never had any side effects for me.
I know this isnt always the case. My periods ceased ful stop.
Funny thing is the implant i left in place for years.
Went to the drs over something totally un-related...mentioned it had been inplace for 9yrs.
Dr said it may aswell come out.. cleary not working after so many years.. figured i must have been past child bearing years. Yep you got it, a week later i was pregnant.
 

Pearls

#PearlsTechSupport
Posts
40,604
Location
Swansea UK
I don't do anything hormonal and now I don't have to worry at my age, had my children and now its all about fun. I have heard about the implants and heard good and bad things, as with everything I guess. I used the coil many years ago and after the first few months got on with it until i kept catching Mr A with the strings, put him off a bit.
If you are fine with hormone contraceptive then try it.
I wouldn't be rushing into anything more permanent just yet though. :)
 

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
I used to use a hormonal implant.. never had any side effects for me.
I know this isnt always the case. My periods ceased ful stop.
Funny thing is the implant i left in place for years.
Went to the drs over something totally un-related...mentioned it had been inplace for 9yrs.
Dr said it may aswell come out.. cleary not working after so many years.. figured i must have been past child bearing years. Yep you got it, a week later i was pregnant.
 
M

meet_the_fockers

As pearls said above hun.. think long and hard, the hormonal inplant worked fine for me, for years.. no side effects, its a fairly long term solution..
On the otherhand it made my daughter have 3wks of bleeding out of 4.
Mr F had the snip after his our first child at 28!! Way to young in my eyes.. his Dr tried in vain to put him off... but he was adamant.. difference being we had, had a child.. x
 

Pearls

#PearlsTechSupport
Posts
40,604
Location
Swansea UK
As pearls said above hun.. think long and hard, the hormonal inplant worked fine for me, for years.. no side effects, its a fairly long term solution..
On the otherhand it made my daughter have 3wks of bleeding out of 4.
Mr F had the snip after his our/his first child at 28!! Way to young in my eyes.. his Dr tried in vain to put him off... but he was adamant.. difference being we had, had a child.. x
Yes same here and of course Mr A has now had the snip and at the same age as Mr F but like you said we had a child xx
 

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
As pearls said above hun.. think long and hard, the hormonal inplant worked fine for me, for years.. no side effects, its a fairly long term solution..
On the otherhand it made my daughter have 3wks of bleeding out of 4.
Mr F had the snip after his our/his first child at 28!! Way to young in my eyes.. his Dr tried in vain to put him off... but he was adamant.. difference being we had, had a child.. x
I'm going to say some things which may offend parents, but this is how I truly feel about children.

The thing is, I'm 30 this year. I've been having the child argument with myself since I was 18. So it's not as if in the past two weeks I've thought "nah, can't be arsed". I've been thinking about this and discussing this with my parents for 12 years. Parents are completely on board, and they support me and tell me that "having kids is not the be all and end all".

I see children and families out and about and it makes me feel physically sick. I cannot imagine myself being tied down for x amount of years with a kid, let alone two or three. I don't want the responsibility of being "the grown up". I like my freedom. I like being able to book a weekend in Iceland and pissing off without thinking "right, I need the baby bag, pushchair, will I have enough nappies? I'll need to take 8 change of clothes, is the hotel child friendly, can I take the kids out to see the Northern Lights...well actually, that's going to be late at night and they're going to be tired and crabby in the morning. What about whale watching? Will they appreciate that? Probably not or they might vomit everywhere. I need to book a child seat on the flight, I need to take the moses basket, toys, colouring books...can we go out for a meal? is the place child friendly? Will they have a child's menu? My child is a fussy eater, they won't eat any of that. How much will that cost me? What if they show me up? I want to explore on the evening, I can't leave child in the hotel room asleep unsupervised, can I? What about going backpacking 6 months in Australia? Can I carry my gear and child's stuff at the same time? What happens when they get blisters? Will they appreciate seeing the countryside? The exploring side of it? "Moooom, I'm tired, my feet hurt, I want to go home, why can't I touch this snake? I'm thirsty? I'm too hot, I'm too cold, I'm bored, why are we looking at some rock?" etc etc blah blah blah...." I don't want that responsbility and thinking of "the extras" that come with children. I like my freedom and not thinking of someone else, constantly.

And I don't think that it's fair, I have to pawn off said child onto mother who is unwell herself, can do without the extra stress and strain of having to look after baby, or toddler, or child whilst I go to work or uni or gym or weekend away.

I've been thinking about the reason why I would ever want a child and the only thing I can come up with....is so that my mom can hold her grandchild. That's not an excuse, is it? Surely not?

Who actually likes children in public places anyway? When you go out shopping, you really don't want a child having a tantrum in the middle of the shop because it can't have a toy. Do I want that embarassment? No. I just want to get my bread and milk and get out. What about the cinema? I want to go and enjoy and have a bit of time to myself without some berk who thinks that punching out a couple of kids makes them seem all high and mighty, allows their children to talk throughout the film, climb all over the chairs, disturb everyone else and they don't do a damn thing. Same on a plane. Same in a restaurant. Same at Alton Towers, a zoo, a museum, an airport, a shopping centre, the park, motorway services, McDonalds, the duck ponds...even sat in my own bloody garden! The neighbours both sides have kids and grandkids, and every 16 or 17 years, there's a new baby. For the past 15 years I've lived in my house, I've been unable to sit in my own garden throughout the summer. Why? Because I don't want to hear babies, toddlers, children, teenagers screaming from 8am until 10pm. Do I want that? No I fucking well don't!

There's a couple of groups of FB and plenty of websites, news articles etc. in which parents describe how they regret having children. I'll clarify and say, it's not the child themselves which they regret, it's the decision to have the child. I read all these stories and they more or less say or express the same which I've said here. They miss their freedom. The love out of the relationship has gone. The attention they used to put on each other has gone. They have no time to themselves. They can't afford to do anything or go anywhere. They haven't been able to spend time together since baby came along. He's out at work, she's in with baby all day and she's lonely. She needs proper adult conversation and talk to an adult instead of chatting baby shit all day. He's not supportive, he doesn't understand how she feels. He didn't want the baby originally, she was desperate, now she's left him and he's left holding the baby....the list goes on and on and it all resonates with me. Everything that all these parents are describing, are the things that I don't want.

I do not want children.
 

Pearls

#PearlsTechSupport
Posts
40,604
Location
Swansea UK
I'm going to say some things which may offend parents, but this is how I truly feel about children.

The thing is, I'm 30 this year. I've been having the child argument with myself since I was 18. So it's not as if in the past two weeks I've thought "nah, can't be arsed". I've been thinking about this and discussing this with my parents for 12 years. Parents are completely on board, and they support me and tell me that "having kids is not the be all and end all".

I see children and families out and about and it makes me feel physically sick. I cannot imagine myself being tied down for x amount of years with a kid, let alone two or three. I don't want the responsibility of being "the grown up". I like my freedom. I like being able to book a weekend in Iceland and pissing off without thinking "right, I need the baby bag, pushchair, will I have enough nappies? I'll need to take 8 change of clothes, is the hotel child friendly, can I take the kids out to see the Northern Lights...well actually, that's going to be late at night and they're going to be tired and crabby in the morning. What about whale watching? Will they appreciate that? Probably not or they might vomit everywhere. I need to book a child seat on the flight, I need to take the moses basket, toys, colouring books...can we go out for a meal? is the place child friendly? Will they have a child's menu? My child is a fussy eater, they won't eat any of that. How much will that cost me? What if they show me up? I want to explore on the evening, I can't leave child in the hotel room asleep unsupervised, can I? What about going backpacking 6 months in Australia? Can I carry my gear and child's stuff at the same time? What happens when they get blisters? Will they appreciate seeing the countryside? The exploring side of it? "Moooom, I'm tired, my feet hurt, I want to go home, why can't I touch this snake? I'm thirsty? I'm too hot, I'm too cold, I'm bored, why are we looking at some rock?" etc etc blah blah blah...." I don't want that responsbility and thinking of "the extras" that come with children. I like my freedom and not thinking of someone else, constantly.

And I don't think that it's fair, I have to pawn off said child onto mother who is unwell herself, can do without the extra stress and strain of having to look after baby, or toddler, or child whilst I go to work or uni or gym or weekend away.

I've been thinking about the reason why I would ever want a child and the only thing I can come up with....is so that my mom can hold her grandchild. That's not an excuse, is it? Surely not?

Who actually likes children in public places anyway? When you go out shopping, you really don't want a child having a tantrum in the middle of the shop because it can't have a toy. Do I want that embarassment? No. I just want to get my bread and milk and get out. What about the cinema? I want to go and enjoy and have a bit of time to myself without some berk who thinks that punching out a couple of kids makes them seem all high and mighty, allows their children to talk throughout the film, climb all over the chairs, disturb everyone else and they don't do a damn thing. Same on a plane. Same in a restaurant. Same at Alton Towers, a zoo, a museum, an airport, a shopping centre, the park, motorway services, McDonalds, the duck ponds...even sat in my own bloody garden! The neighbours both sides have kids and grandkids, and every 16 or 17 years, there's a new baby. For the past 15 years I've lived in my house, I've been unable to sit in my own garden throughout the summer. Why? Because I don't want to hear babies, toddlers, children, teenagers screaming from 8am until 10pm. Do I want that? No I fucking well don't!

There's a couple of groups of FB and plenty of websites, news articles etc. in which parents describe how they regret having children. I'll clarify and say, it's not the child themselves which they regret, it's the decision to have the child. I read all these stories and they more or less say or express the same which I've said here. They miss their freedom. The love out of the relationship has gone. The attention they used to put on each other has gone. They have no time to themselves. They can't afford to do anything or go anywhere. They haven't been able to spend time together since baby came along. He's out at work, she's in with baby all day and she's lonely. She needs proper adult conversation and talk to an adult instead of chatting baby shit all day. He's not supportive, he doesn't understand how she feels. He didn't want the baby originally, she was desperate, now she's left him and he's left holding the baby....the list goes on and on and it all resonates with me. Everything that all these parents are describing, are the things that I don't want.

I do not want children.
Without going too much into this and it seems you have made your choice hun but saying couples who have kids are berks... Mmmm not so. Perhaps if you are not happy where you live then think of moving to a child free area. x
 

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
Without going too much into this and it seems you have made your choice hun but saying couples who have kids are berks... Mmmm not so. Perhaps if you are not happy where you live then think of moving to a child free area. x
I don't mean all people who have kids are berks, I meant those parents who allow their child to run riot.

We can't move due to all sorts of reasons unfortunately. But we've just put up with them.
 

Pearls

#PearlsTechSupport
Posts
40,604
Location
Swansea UK
Did you allow them to run riot, or did you make some kind of effort to quiet them down or take them away from the situation as to not disturb anyone else?
Parenting is just beautiful, no one is perfect but all we can do is our best, I/we are very proud of the young adults our children have turned into and that's all we can do is simply our best. We are extremely lucky. x
 

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
Parenting is just beautiful, no one is perfect but all we can do is our best, I/we are very proud of the young adults our children have turned into and that's all we can do is simply our best. We are extremely lucky. x
And that's fine. I haven't got a problem with parents, and I can see how hard it is. I really can.
It's just not something that I would like or enjoy.




....like marmite :p
 
M

meet_the_fockers

You are of course entitled to your opinion.
Some people just are not maternal.. you are cleary not.. it doesnt make you an odd bod in society.. At least your honest.

I am maternal
..I had my son, when i had grown up children.. i angst about it believe me " but this is my time now, my other children are grown up" I was in turmoil.. my eldest is 30 my youngest 8!!
They are not an embarrasment.. im proud to take my youngest out..hes a joy.. i enjoy his company.. as i do my older children..
I do have freinds who throw their kids on their backs and go backpacking.
Life doesnt end when you have children.. for me, it began it was complete.. They are my life.
PS I'm not a berk! Well I don't think i am ;) ... :D ...
 
Okay, alright...but before you all moan and click somewhere else, we need to talk about this.
We are all responsible adults (almost!) and we have an active lifestyle where we need to take care of ourselves.

Now, I'd like to think that as responsible adults we take the necessary precautions to prevent pregancies, infections and marmite lovers being with marmite haters (the kids would be freaks I tells ya!)

But I've come across this webite which sells condoms at a waaaay cheaper price than in the shops and in bulk too: Condoms, Lube & Home STI Test Retailer | Freedoms Shop
But there's also lube, STI test kits, sex health blog....the works. It's actually, quite a good site.

But I'd also like to know what other methods of contraception people have used and the pros and cons. I'm asking this because I don't want children. Never have done. I've thought about it since I was 18 and I cannot come up with a decent excuse to have children. Bottom line, I like my freedom.

Now, today I was talking to the nurse at my GP and she suggested I have the implant. I've never read up about the implant and I'd like to know if anyone uses it, how are they? Does it lower sex drive? Does it work? Does it hurt? Likewise with the UID, pill, diaphragm, vasectomy, vaginal ring.

I'm interested! Let's talk about sex, baby!
I have the implant, well I'm on my 2nd. They last 3 years. The first one was uncomfortable but not painful when put in but the 2nd was completely painless.
I think they are great, no periods, no bloating, even my moods have improved.
I gained a lot of weight with the depo injection but haven't gained any through having the implant.
To me it's a win win situation, no babies, no periods and no forgetting to take a pill! xx
 

AutumnH

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,196
Location
England
I have the implant, well I'm on my 2nd. They last 3 years. The first one was uncomfortable but not painful when put in but the 2nd was completely painless.
I think they are great, no periods, no bloating, even my moods have improved.
I gained a lot of weight with the depo injection but haven't gained any through having the implant.
To me it's a win win situation, no babies, no periods and no forgetting to take a pill! xx
Do you still use a condom or no?
I'm thinking about the implant but I need to get opinions and experiences. So far, so good! (y)
 
I have the implant, well I'm on my 2nd. They last 3 years. The first one was uncomfortable but not painful when put in but the 2nd was completely painless.
I think they are great, no periods, no bloating, even my moods have improved.
I gained a lot of weight with the depo injection but haven't gained any through having the implant.
To me it's a win win situation, no babies, no periods and no forgetting to take a pill! xx
I should have added that I have 3 grown up children, my partner has 2, we don't want anymore. But I do agree with your views on 'modern' parenting. I bought mine up very differently to kids now. They simply would not have got away with the behaviours I constantly see every day.
 
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