Ok so here's a secret.
In my youth I did a lot of clubbing and to be honest I wasn't a ladies man. Infact I was quite awkward around women.
Anyway this one night I pulled a stunner and all was going well, doing the horizontal dance.
The door slammed and I get shooed under the bed with my clothes. FFS I cant believe it. She didn't tell me she had a fella. He's falling all over the place, plonks himself on the bed and assumes the position I was in mere moments ago.
Gawd then there at it, proper at it. I very slowly and quietly got dressed under the bed shimmying into my clothes and at the point they started getting loud, I cammando roll from under the bed, stand up, say 'excuse me' (if I had a hat I think I'd have tipped it), and did my road runner act. I thanked my lucky stars the door was unlocked. I heard banging and shouts that didn't sound like the fella wanted to make friends with me and I didn't look back.
I've never ran so fast in my life. I think there was a Baldrick shaped cloud of dust when I took off.
Unfulfilled but unscathed
B x