Getting back to the original question... For me S, it's about sharing my man and seeing him having a good time whether that's giving or receiving. I love watching him/his face/his actions. I am bias but I think he has a perfect cock and right from the start when we first met (after going through the minefield of regular dating in the jungle out there) and before any thought of swinging thought to myself 'I'm not letting this one go'! Before we were properly together I said to my best friend "you have to experience this" and we did together but not since, she was too close and anything else once we were together properly would have impacted our friendship.
For him (M) it's about letting go and doing something privately 'naughty' and pleasuring a woman, giving her an orgasm is his favourite. Blow jobs he finds can be very hit and miss, some hurt, some use their teeth and some sloppy so when he is on the receiving end of one that suits him I love seeing his face. The memory sex is frantic and wonderful but not something we consider at the time.
On the subject that took over, we have met many people through going to clubs that rolls into being invited to house parties and inviting those people to our own parties. We never invite someone to ours without having met them before at a party or club as it can be strained, virtual meeting isn't enough in our experience and if you don't know whether there will be a connection at a club or party you can go off and mingle. We have never met anyone simply through being on a site...unless it's be a connection via a friend, the chatting at clubs leads to the question 'are you on ...' and we keep connected that way. Through camping at the VA Festival of Fun we have met a lot of people some of whom we have their numbers and consider friends as well as play mates. Hopefully Swingfields this year will widen that circle. 2 of the people we met at FOF hold parties every month so that's a great introduction to a wider circle.
We have had 2 awful meets at a club where a friend has introduced us to their friends virtually via a site. Through messaging you can have a laugh, banter, flirt, exchange photo's to see if there's a physical attraction and assume that because your friends have become friends with them and you share similar interests and values you will get on. Oh no, we are all so different and one time we had got to know a couple who seemed great...we walked up to them in the club all excited to finally meet and were greeted with a really bad breath kiss. There's no going back from that.
Some friends were saying the other day that they would like to set up a site for swingers that actually meet and if you have not met in say 6 months you are removed. That down to time wasters for those who are genuine swingers. Be interesting for that to happen.
First time M took me to a club I didn't know where we were going and I cried all the way home because the club wasn't the nicest and I had been touched and grabbed against my will. We live and learn and thankfully none since have been like that.
People are very shy understandably so I say go to a club to get some confidence and verifications. We put a post on here about a party at our house but the timing was tricky for lots as it was Easter weekend and nobody enquired further. However we had invited people we've met from the FOF, VA & Jaydees and had a fantastic, relaxed, memorable evening. A few of our friends are not comfortable being on any sites at all so we are privileged to have been at a club on a night they are there otherwise life would be less horny. Everyone is human and we are very chilled and realistic, it's hard to remember that when you are nervous but bite the bullet and you will never look back!
Sorry for rambling!
Sxx