Sending out that do you fancy meeting up message

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

So what is it thats stopping you sending out that do you fancy meeting up for a drink message.

We have a feeling this will drop into 2 sections.

1 Total fear of rejection by whoever you send it to

2 Like the idea of a swinging lifestyle but too scared to actually do it.

We suspect most folks will read this and not reply, If you fall into either of the above then why are you here.

 

[Lovernotfighter]

I can only speak for myself (and perhaps slightly for other male swingles) as one of things that holds me back in expressing interest and taking that step is a fear (maybe worry is a better description) of being labelled as one of those men that are slight sex pests that just wants a quick shag.

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

I can only speak for myself (and perhaps slightly for other male swingles) as one of things that holds me back in expressing interest and taking that step is a fear (maybe worry is a better description) of being labelled as one of those men that are slight sex pests that just wants a quick shag.

But surely its better to send out a polite please have a look at my profile and message me back if interested mail than to not send anything. We would not be offended in the slightest to get a message like that off anyone and the quick shag part is crackers its a swinging site so that should be the whole reason for being here. Do it i bet you will be shocked by the replies you get

 

[Lovernotfighter]

But surely its better to send out a polite please have a look at my profile and message me back if interested mail than to not send anything. We would not be offended in the slightest to get a message like that off anyone and the quick shag part is crackers its a swinging site so that should be the whole reason for being here. Do it i bet you will be shocked by the replies you get

You're right of course but such fears inhabit the deep parts of a man's minds the parts that are rarely sensible or logical.

 

[Sammy]

So what is it thats stopping you sending out that do you fancy meeting up for a drink message.

We have a feeling this will drop into 2 sections.

1 Total fear of rejection by whoever you send it to

2 Like the idea of a swinging lifestyle but too scared to actually do it.

We suspect most folks will read this and not reply, If you fall into either of the above then why are you here.

So do I fall into any of these categories maybe the first but who doesn't in fairness ... nobody like rejection ... I spoken to lots n lots of folk onsite and be them experienced or not lots struggle with idea of rejection

It's easy to say if your in lifestyle years just do

I also agree with MrLNF on few points

I'm not as active as I could or would like to because of distance and location and issues around childcare etc ...

certainly If lived down south there's aleast 3-4 Couples and 2-3 swingles I would love to meet ... many more I'd like to meet socially after having great craic on forum

I'm 90 mins away from nearest active member ... that's a single guy

Asking people why they are here if they fall into a category why are they here ... it's bit strange when on another post you say

We are giving serious thought to chucking the towel in too as it seems that now we need to devote most of our lives to chatting to even stand a chance of a meet. We really dont have that sort of time to invest. It's really quite sad but we dont even bother looking at anyone elses profile on here with a view to meeting up, its become more of a social chat site tbh.

Folk could ask you same question
Sx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

So do I fall into any of these categories maybe the first but who doesn't in fairness ... nobody like rejection ... I spoken to lots n lots of folk onsite and be them experienced or not lots struggle with idea of rejection

It's easy to say if your in lifestyle years just do

I also agree with MrLNF on few points

I'm not as active as I could or would like to because of distance and location and issues around childcare etc ...

certainly If lived down south there's aleast 3-4 Couples and 2-3 swingles I would love to meet ... many more I'd like to meet socially after having great craic on forum

I'm 90 mins away from nearest active member ... that's a single guy

Asking people why they are here if they fall into a category why are they here ... it's bit strange when on another post you say
I am asking why folks are here as it seems to fall flat as a swingers site and wondered why so asking - If you read it again we clearly say we are active but just not on here so the question remains why are folks not active on this site



Folk could ask you same question
Sx

 

[MP386]

So what is it thats stopping you sending out that do you fancy meeting up for a drink message.

We have a feeling this will drop into 2 sections.

1 Total fear of rejection by whoever you send it to

2 Like the idea of a swinging lifestyle but too scared to actually do it.

We suspect most folks will read this and not reply, If you fall into either of the above then why are you here.

I have never just sent a fancy a drink /meet message without interacting with anyone here first .... you can get a little idea if there will be something in common ...
Always had a fear of rejection something that I have lived with all my life and probably stopped me asking many people out in the past and still does even here ...
I don’t ask couples for meets I have always left that to them to ask that way I feel they both want too .. probably the wrong approach but it’s my way ...
I have actually met people from here I am not afraid to do it there wouldn’t be any point being here if I was ..
There are people I want to meet and those I want to meet again....life ,distance is always a problem as @Sammy mentioned not so many active members down here .. so it has to be planned to happen...

 

[Sammy]

"I am asking why folks are here as it seems to fall flat as a swingers site and wondered why so asking - If you read it again we clearly say we are active but just not on here so the question remains why are folks not active on this site"

-------------------------------
I think that a huge statement to make that the site falls flat as a swingers site.. don't you think ... what are you basing that on ... your own personal experience

I think there are lots and lots of folk are active in lifestyle
I think it's a community that works for many...

if it's not working for you .. you gotta ask yourself why and not blame the site

We all need to take personal responsibility for how active we are or not ... myself included
It's nothing to do with site

The site presents many opportunities either on site or at social to meet folk

Sx

 

[Terryg]

I sure there are meets being organised thro the site all the while, some clearly advertised and others who keep it to themselves, me included.
If people choose to be here for other reasons then that's really there business and who knows in the future where they could be led.

 

[TherLegs]

For us neither of the above reasons although like most others being rejected isn't our preferred option.
For those that know us this is our couples profile on the site, we have our own separate accounts that refer back to this account but they are for our mod duties here.
As a couple we often spend weeks together but our main issue is simply that it is difficult for @Miss-Sexy-Legs to get time off work and when she does we normaly only know a day or two in advance. Add to that our location then planning a meeting is not easy, yes we have transport but the reality is mid week meets at short notice are not the easiest thing to arrange. It would be great if anyone is on holiday in the area, then a meeting shouldn't be that difficult but sending someone a message to ask if they are available one day next week, not sure when but we will let you know the day before, isn't helpful.

 

[Deleted member 3657]

So what is it thats stopping you sending out that do you fancy meeting up for a drink message.

We have a feeling this will drop into 2 sections.

1 Total fear of rejection by whoever you send it to

2 Like the idea of a swinging lifestyle but too scared to actually do it.

We suspect most folks will read this and not reply, If you fall into either of the above then why are you here.

You've missed out option 3; Had so many rejections, as in every single one and can only take so much.

 

[No longer with us..]

Whats stopping me sending it..

The fact that I really dont have to.. as with most swingers sites single females really dont have to put in any work at all if you dont want too and im not that fussed so i dont.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Whats stopping me sending it..

The fact that I really dont have to.. as with most swingers sites single females really dont have to put in any work at all if you dont want too and im not that fussed so i dont.

And this statement right here is why most single gents and couples feel unsure as to whether they send that first message to a single female tbh I hope not a lot of the single females take this kind of attitude

 

[Sammy]

Whats stopping me sending it..

The fact that I really dont have to.. as with most swingers sites single females really dont have to put in any work at all if you dont want too and im not that fussed so i dont.

And it a response like that give single females bad reputations on site .. I think you'll find that's there's quite a few reg single female on site , that interact and "put in the work "

Hopefully we won't be all tarred to the same brush following that response
Sx

 

[No longer with us..]

And this statement right here is why most single gents and couples feel unsure as to whether they send that first message to a single female tbh I hope not a lot of the single females take this kind of attitude

Well some people just dont like when someone is honest.. cant really do much about it, this is quite frankly more a social site than a meet site and I think people are getting their backs up, the way most do when they hear something they dont want to!

 

[No longer with us..]

And it a response like that give single females bad reputations on site .. I think you'll find that's there's quite a few reg single female on site , that interact and "put in the work "

Hopefully we won't be all tarred to the same brush following that response
Sx

I interact just dont make the first interaction and I think honestly some people fib a whole lot about how much they do tbh!

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Well some people just dont like when someone is honest.. cant really do much about it, this is quite frankly more a social site than a meet site and I think people are getting their backs up, the way most do when they hear something they dont want to!

And yet if you are whom I think you are you came back and this is only perceived to be a social site by those who see it that way ,lots of people meet on here they just don't shout about it

 

[Sammy]

I interact just dont make the first interaction and I think honestly some people fib a whole lot about how much they do tbh!

Lots of folk won't make the first move I agree.... I can't argue .. I rarely do but .....

In my opinion it came across very arrogant and condescending

We are a welcoming community last thing we want is reluctance to send any female a message for fear of the kinda response

Sx

 

[No longer with us..]

And yet if you are whom I think you are you came back and this is only perceived to be a social site by those who see it that way ,lots of people meet on here they just don't shout about it

Or some people can actually have a laugh about meets! Seems you have an issue with people who are excited about a first meet and enjoy talking about it (which is part of the process and run up to it)

Yeah well people can think something might improve over time and see that its actually decreased and got even cliquer and just full of bitter haggard old people who need to get a fucking life you sad old bitch

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Or some people can actually have a laugh about meets! Seems you have an issue with people who are excited about a first meet and enjoy talking about it (which is part of the process and run up to it)

Yeah well people can think something might improve over time and see that its actually decreased and got even cliquer and just full of bitter haggard old people who need to get a fucking life you sad old bitch

Awe how kind of you

 

[Sammy]

Well some people just dont like when someone is honest.. cant really do much about it, this is quite frankly more a social site than a meet site and I think people are getting their backs up, the way most do when they hear something they dont want to!

Lots of people use the site in lots of ways which is allowed

Lots of people have meets from site ... some more regular than others

I believe in yer short time back you've had one meet already .. so maybe just not as social as you say

So you yourself can promote it is indeed more than a social site
Sx

 

[Sammy]

Or some people can actually have a laugh about meets! Seems you have an issue with people who are excited about a first meet and enjoy talking about it (which is part of the process and run up to it)

Yeah well people can think something might improve over time and see that its actually decreased and got even cliquer and just full of bitter haggard old people who need to get a fucking life you sad old bitch

There's no need for that kinda of attitude towards any member let alone staff because you feel challenged ... manners n politeness cost nothing
Sx

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

There's no need for that kinda of attitude towards any member let alone staff because you feel challenged ... manners n politeness cost nothing
Sx

She is free to say what she wants hun water off a ducks back

 

[Sammy]

She is free to say what she wants hun water off a ducks back

Yes we are entitled to opinions I do often lol

but name calling and verbal abuse is not acceptable by any standard
Sx

 

[Admin]

Cleaned this thread, abuse towards staff won't be tolerated either.