As part of a Couple, Do you play alone ???
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peakcouple
Agree you miss being with and seeing your partner, which is very exciting, but when you're in a separate room it seems even 'naughtier' - like having an affair but without the deceit. Its even more like that if you sleep swapped in different beds.
Mr @2ofus and myself play 'same room' and 'seperate room' about the same amount of times.
There are also times when brcause of his health issues or mine, or the medications were on that one of us is unable to play, or doesn't feel like it that if were at a party one of us may go upstairs to play while the other one socialises.
We still consider eachother to always 'be there" though, (after all, Mr @2ofus is the only one who can drive and he never goes to a party on his own so we're both 'at the party'.
Also if we're entertainng at home, somtimes we might entertain a couple in the aame room (bedroom or other hehe) and somtims in seperate bedrooms.
There are some areas of sex we enjoy equally and some we like to diffrent degrees and seperate room sex somtims allows us the time to explore thos other areas a little.
also, with a same room, we get the enjoyment of actually seeing (and maybe joining in) with eachother is doing, whereas seperate room we get pleasure afterwards from discussing what we did and all the details ....... has led to some very pleasant 'after play' moments of our own
Just another way of looking at it I guess
xx
There are also times when brcause of his health issues or mine, or the medications were on that one of us is unable to play, or doesn't feel like it that if were at a party one of us may go upstairs to play while the other one socialises.
We still consider eachother to always 'be there" though, (after all, Mr @2ofus is the only one who can drive and he never goes to a party on his own so we're both 'at the party'.
Also if we're entertainng at home, somtimes we might entertain a couple in the aame room (bedroom or other hehe) and somtims in seperate bedrooms.
There are some areas of sex we enjoy equally and some we like to diffrent degrees and seperate room sex somtims allows us the time to explore thos other areas a little.
also, with a same room, we get the enjoyment of actually seeing (and maybe joining in) with eachother is doing, whereas seperate room we get pleasure afterwards from discussing what we did and all the details ....... has led to some very pleasant 'after play' moments of our own
Just another way of looking at it I guess
xx
M
meet_the_fockers
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meet_the_fockers
Lol at earlier posts.. Where did @RobbieFutuo go?... Trolloping on twatter that's where hmmm
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XX
No but yes 
No we wouldn't really say we would play alone as we would always both be involved in the social side, decision making, etc. But it is possible that we don't always both have to 'play' with another couple or very rarely single.
We'd both have had to have met and approved the other(s) though and it would be a fairly rare occurrence as we'd usually prefer to both be involved
At the end of the day we're both of the opinion that it's just sex and fun and we both like each other to have fun so don't really rule much out
No we wouldn't really say we would play alone as we would always both be involved in the social side, decision making, etc. But it is possible that we don't always both have to 'play' with another couple or very rarely single.
We'd both have had to have met and approved the other(s) though and it would be a fairly rare occurrence as we'd usually prefer to both be involved
At the end of the day we're both of the opinion that it's just sex and fun and we both like each other to have fun so don't really rule much out
I must admit having read this thread that I'm a little disappointed at some of the responses.
I read it after Mrs @2ofus asked me yesterday if I thought she had ever cheated on me since we started swinging (cheating having being a major reason for the failure of my 1st marriage. (My 1st wife had several boyfrends behind my back - every time we 'sorted it out' another miraculously appeared on the scene).
When I said no and asked why, she said "according to most of the peoples opnions on ss, thats what we're doing" - so I read the thread, assuming it was a thread on peoples preferences and she'd misinterpreted some responses ....
I can totally understand some people PREFERRING same room, but to suggest in any way that those that ONLY swing same room are 'true' swingers whilst anyone that does so in seperate rooms (or as Laura said occasionally one of us has swung at a party whilst the other has continued socialising), is is a CHEAT not a swinger is (in MY humble opinion only) not just unfair, but at best borderline offensive!
It's like trying to rationalise swinging in the "my way is the right way, any other way is wrong" way that religion does (catholic v protestant v baptist v methodist or sunni v shi'ite, I mean, rather than Christian v Islam v Hindu etc etc)
... we all agree swingng is acceptable, but how WE swing is more acceptable than the way YOU do it.
Let's be 100% accurate here ... ALL of us here, who swore to "forsake all others" at our weddings, have, in the eyes of the church at least (amd in the eyes of anyone outside the lifestyle), cheated on our spouses. The REAL difference is how WE each assess it.
My 1st wife DID cheat on me because
(1) she did so behind my back, and
(2) when I asked her to stop she continued doing so.
Mrs @2ofus HASN'T cheated on me because
(1) we discussed everything before we started swinging and
(2) she's never exceeded those boundaries
(The same applies to me as well)
Different people have different boundaries with their partners - we've come across loads in the short time we've been involved, so im sure there are plenty more
(No anal with anyone else, no bareback with anyone else ( one of ours), and even no kissing) exceeding one of their boundaries may constitute "cheating" in their partners eyes (I know if one of my neighbours (a non-swinger) found his wife kissing someone "inappropriately" under the mistletoe at Xmas he would consider it cheating. (No it wasn't with me or Mrs @2ofus lol)
We have always found SS to be a site that allows (even encourages) people to be themselves, but I hate to think how a new member would feel if they practiced "hotwifery" and read this thread (Not our thing at all, but we've met a couple for whom it works perfectly)
I'm sorry for the essay, but Mrs @2ofus took some of the phraseology used incredibly personally, and I just wanted to explain that sometimes the phrasing of an answer can turn that answer from what may well just be the poster's honest opinion, to an apparent (and hostile) judgement on someone else.
I read it after Mrs @2ofus asked me yesterday if I thought she had ever cheated on me since we started swinging (cheating having being a major reason for the failure of my 1st marriage. (My 1st wife had several boyfrends behind my back - every time we 'sorted it out' another miraculously appeared on the scene).
When I said no and asked why, she said "according to most of the peoples opnions on ss, thats what we're doing" - so I read the thread, assuming it was a thread on peoples preferences and she'd misinterpreted some responses ....
I can totally understand some people PREFERRING same room, but to suggest in any way that those that ONLY swing same room are 'true' swingers whilst anyone that does so in seperate rooms (or as Laura said occasionally one of us has swung at a party whilst the other has continued socialising), is is a CHEAT not a swinger is (in MY humble opinion only) not just unfair, but at best borderline offensive!
It's like trying to rationalise swinging in the "my way is the right way, any other way is wrong" way that religion does (catholic v protestant v baptist v methodist or sunni v shi'ite, I mean, rather than Christian v Islam v Hindu etc etc)
... we all agree swingng is acceptable, but how WE swing is more acceptable than the way YOU do it.
Let's be 100% accurate here ... ALL of us here, who swore to "forsake all others" at our weddings, have, in the eyes of the church at least (amd in the eyes of anyone outside the lifestyle), cheated on our spouses. The REAL difference is how WE each assess it.
My 1st wife DID cheat on me because
(1) she did so behind my back, and
(2) when I asked her to stop she continued doing so.
Mrs @2ofus HASN'T cheated on me because
(1) we discussed everything before we started swinging and
(2) she's never exceeded those boundaries
(The same applies to me as well)
Different people have different boundaries with their partners - we've come across loads in the short time we've been involved, so im sure there are plenty more
(No anal with anyone else, no bareback with anyone else ( one of ours), and even no kissing) exceeding one of their boundaries may constitute "cheating" in their partners eyes (I know if one of my neighbours (a non-swinger) found his wife kissing someone "inappropriately" under the mistletoe at Xmas he would consider it cheating. (No it wasn't with me or Mrs @2ofus lol)
We have always found SS to be a site that allows (even encourages) people to be themselves, but I hate to think how a new member would feel if they practiced "hotwifery" and read this thread (Not our thing at all, but we've met a couple for whom it works perfectly)
I'm sorry for the essay, but Mrs @2ofus took some of the phraseology used incredibly personally, and I just wanted to explain that sometimes the phrasing of an answer can turn that answer from what may well just be the poster's honest opinion, to an apparent (and hostile) judgement on someone else.
The first post by TGBS2015 suggests yhat if one member of the couple isnt there then they consider it cheating.
The A-Team make the point that "a couple playing alone away from their partner (like if bob is downstairs at a party and im playing alone upstairs) is something that would feel like an affair and "not in the spirit of swinging".
Even the post by RobbieFutuo points out that there are posts from people "defining what swinging is".
I did get upset by some of those posts, because the definition some people put on swinging made me feel that their definition of me would be I was cheating.
I know the comments weren't aimed at me, some of thwm were made before Me and Mr @2ofus even joined the site.
Im also sorry that Mr's post seems to have caused upset of its own, I only asked him to explain how some of them were making me feel in case they had the same effect on anyone else. I know he'll be sorry too when he reads the replies, he wrote it between meds earlier and it looks a lot stroppier in black and white than it soundwd when he read it to me. I guess the way I read the posts made them sound stroppier in my head than they were intended when they were posted, too, its justy interpretation I suppose, but the term playing alone I took to include separate rooms, or playing with one half of a couple or a single man/lady at a party rathwr than Mr and me both playing in the same room at the same time, and there does seem to be a lot of statements suggesting people see that as not in the spirit of swinging and more of a personal indulgance.
hopefully by now you all know how Mr and me both feel about thw site and all of you, nand know I geniunley mean it when I say that if we have upset any of you we really do apologise
Mrs @2ofus xx
The A-Team make the point that "a couple playing alone away from their partner (like if bob is downstairs at a party and im playing alone upstairs) is something that would feel like an affair and "not in the spirit of swinging".
Even the post by RobbieFutuo points out that there are posts from people "defining what swinging is".
I did get upset by some of those posts, because the definition some people put on swinging made me feel that their definition of me would be I was cheating.
I know the comments weren't aimed at me, some of thwm were made before Me and Mr @2ofus even joined the site.
Im also sorry that Mr's post seems to have caused upset of its own, I only asked him to explain how some of them were making me feel in case they had the same effect on anyone else. I know he'll be sorry too when he reads the replies, he wrote it between meds earlier and it looks a lot stroppier in black and white than it soundwd when he read it to me. I guess the way I read the posts made them sound stroppier in my head than they were intended when they were posted, too, its justy interpretation I suppose, but the term playing alone I took to include separate rooms, or playing with one half of a couple or a single man/lady at a party rathwr than Mr and me both playing in the same room at the same time, and there does seem to be a lot of statements suggesting people see that as not in the spirit of swinging and more of a personal indulgance.
hopefully by now you all know how Mr and me both feel about thw site and all of you, nand know I geniunley mean it when I say that if we have upset any of you we really do apologise
Mrs @2ofus xx
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XX
I don't think anyone should be upset by others definition of what Swinging is or isn't, we're all different and all have our own thoughts on what is the definition.
I doubt either of your posts have upset anyone, I think there was more concern that you have been upset.
We as a couple tend to think of swinging as having sexual activities with others with full knowledge and consent of your partner, I guess that isn't a great definition as there are also singles who swing, but it's our thoughts as a couple.
If there is full knowledge and consent then that's fine with us and not an issue, whether that's playing together or apart makes no difference it's the trust and honesty that matters.
If one of us was going behind the others back to arrange a meet or even to flirt with others whilst hiding it that would be an issue and considered cheating in our view. I'm not saying that neither of us can chat to others individually or flirt a bit but we wouldn't conceal that from each other and would tell each other what we are up to if that makes sense?
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xx
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peakcouple
Yes, that's a good short definition!
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Scrunchy&Muffet
We play with other couples/singles but in the same room. We dont play seperatly in seperate rooms. Thats just our preference. Xxx
I wonder how many people have changed their dynamics since starting swinging and who know can play separately/alone..
MOTM
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Deleted member 6485
MOTM
I just couldn't, I understand the whole swap thing as that is how swinging started, it's simply not something we could consider ever, for us there are some things sacred between usWe wouldn't want you to!
xx
If Vanessa wanted to go for a solo meet I would be surprised but I would never stop her.Ha.. more than many realise
I sometimes think about pickups but wouldn't do that to V because I love her more than I love my own life.
N xxx
Aye cherish what you have. After all, we never how long we have it for.
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MOTM
Everything we do, we do together, from messaging someone we are interested in to meeting, if you want to do things separately then I don't see how that is swinging, I can only imagine @Lips_Pearls waving me off to go and meet someone and vice versa 
Interesting discussion.
My husband and I are polyamorus, and whilst we love each other very much, we are also capable of having loving relationships with others.
He has another partner who he sees regularly, and I have recently started seeing someone else too, and am enjoying every minute.
Our "other" relationships do not detract at all from our relationship with each other, as they are completely different. Nothing is ever done in secret, and we enjoy giving each other this freedom.
My husband and I are polyamorus, and whilst we love each other very much, we are also capable of having loving relationships with others.
He has another partner who he sees regularly, and I have recently started seeing someone else too, and am enjoying every minute.
Our "other" relationships do not detract at all from our relationship with each other, as they are completely different. Nothing is ever done in secret, and we enjoy giving each other this freedom.
We would never play alone. To us swinging is about the two of us sharing the experiences as they happen. Playing alone would be adultery to us. We started this journey together and will always take what that journey gives us, together.
MOTM
Ours certainly has, we were both single when we joined. Would we play alone now, No.
Not sure if to post this,... sod it.
My (ex) and I were together for 9 years, visited various clubs and parties all over the country, and in that time mostly played as singles (considering we met as singles). Were we interested in playing with couples as a couple? Yes, of course, sadly due to our individual tastes/preferences, we struggled to find couples who matched what we (individually) looked for. In the 9 years, we only found 3 couples.
On realizing early on this challenge ahead of us, we decided to not stop playing as singles: however, she chose not to meet couples on her own, whereas I had no issue with this (like I said, individual preferences). It was also a challenge as I work 9-5 Mon-Fri, while she worked shifts, patterns all over the place, sometimes a work shift only gave 2 weeks notice. As such it was always difficult to arrange meets with her present if she hadn't booked the time off.
In hindsight, I'm glad we kept to playing as couples, otherwise, it would have been a very inactive 9 years if we chose to only play with couples as a couple.
My (ex) and I were together for 9 years, visited various clubs and parties all over the country, and in that time mostly played as singles (considering we met as singles). Were we interested in playing with couples as a couple? Yes, of course, sadly due to our individual tastes/preferences, we struggled to find couples who matched what we (individually) looked for. In the 9 years, we only found 3 couples.
On realizing early on this challenge ahead of us, we decided to not stop playing as singles: however, she chose not to meet couples on her own, whereas I had no issue with this (like I said, individual preferences). It was also a challenge as I work 9-5 Mon-Fri, while she worked shifts, patterns all over the place, sometimes a work shift only gave 2 weeks notice. As such it was always difficult to arrange meets with her present if she hadn't booked the time off.
In hindsight, I'm glad we kept to playing as couples, otherwise, it would have been a very inactive 9 years if we chose to only play with couples as a couple.
From very early on we've been perfectly happy playing separately and these days we do so more often tham not.
We both have our own paramours/comets of various levels of seriousness, the odd one we share together and/or separately, as well as the odd opportunistic one-offs and "test drives".
The flexibility this gives us is tremendous, and I can honestly say its done nothing to our own relationship but bring us closer.
We both have our own paramours/comets of various levels of seriousness, the odd one we share together and/or separately, as well as the odd opportunistic one-offs and "test drives".
The flexibility this gives us is tremendous, and I can honestly say its done nothing to our own relationship but bring us closer.
Just had to edit that one word ^^^