Confidence....

[fincon]

As isn’t uncommon, I’ll be the heretic; no. Has never made a material difference one way or the other.

If anything, if I had to come down on one side, rather than just saying ‘it’s never had that effect), I’d go further. I’d say that not only has being in the scene, swinging, not made me more confident, my experiences have been quite the reverse.

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Being honest yes I do have a lot more confidence since joining the site. When hubby wanted to put pics up I was like no way. Who would want to look at me. I am actually humbled and amazed by the amount of attention that my pics get. You guys and girls have made a massive impact in how I look at myself and I would like to thank you all for that. I would even go as far as to say I actually feel sexy, even though hubby has said this for years I have never let myself believe it, because as my hubby he is going to say that. Xx M

 

[Stew]

Being honest yes I do have a lot more confidence since joining the site. When hubby wanted to put pics up I was like no way. Who would want to look at me. I am actually humbled and amazed by the amount of attention that my pics get. You guys and girls have made a massive impact in how I look at myself and I would like to thank you all for that. I would even go as far as to say I actually feel sexy, even though hubby has said this for years I have never let myself believe it, because as my hubby he is going to say that. Xx M

Very well put Marion , why on earth shouldn’t everyone have the right to feel sexy , you rock, great pictures xx

 

[Louise94]

Not quite that old chestnut really.. but does swinging give you more confidence?
Even if you've not yet swung and just for now, having chats online, swapping pics, building up rapport - does it give you more confidence about yourself/yourselves?

Do you suddenly realise; well I am sexy, I am attractive - I can still pull!
Does it make you feel good when someone comments on your profile, status, photos... or do you still feel embarrassed maybe?

There is a definite fact here, at least in my humble opinion, that swinging and even chatting alone, boosts confidence like never before. You get a huge boost from having that attention and pleasantries.

Over to you.. x

I’ve been mulling this one over in my head quite a bit.

I think the profile/status/picture comments give you that dopamine hit, there’s a physiological response in the body. I’m sure I watched a Ted Talk that discussed how ‘likes’ and such on social media creates a release of happy hormones which I’m sure contributes to feeling more confident in yourself.

I am always grateful to receive attention, compliments etc. but I don’t find they make me feel more confident. If anything, I’m normally worried people are making an impression of me that I might not fulfill in person...the old expectation vs. reality thing.

Ultimately, I believe confidence is an inside job.
‘Confidence is not a fixed attribute; it's the outcome of the thoughts we think and the actions we take.’
I feel most confident when my self acceptance, self love and self worth are all top notch - which at times is a real struggle but I know external sources won’t fix it, I have to do the head work.
When I actually take the time to appreciate how awesome my body is, what it can do, what it enables me to do and experience. When I see the value in who I am as a person, that’s when I feel confident and it shows.

Xxx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

I’ve been mulling this one over in my head quite a bit.

I think the profile/status/picture comments give you that dopamine hit, there’s a physiological response in the body. I’m sure I watched a Ted Talk that discussed how ‘likes’ and such on social media creates a release of happy hormones which I’m sure contributes to feeling more confident in yourself.

I am always grateful to receive attention, compliments etc. but I don’t find they make me feel more confident. If anything, I’m normally worried people are making an impression of me that I might not fulfill in person...the old expectation vs. reality thing.

Ultimately, I believe confidence is an inside job.
‘Confidence is not a fixed attribute; it's the outcome of the thoughts we think and the actions we take.’
I feel most confident when my self acceptance, self love and self worth are all top notch - which at times is a real struggle but I know external sources won’t fix it, I have to do the head work.
When I actually take the time to appreciate how awesome my body is, what it can do, what it enables me to do and experience. When I see the value in who I am as a person, that’s when I feel confident and it shows.

Xxx

What a truly fantastic response, you've summed it up beautifully xx Paul xx

 

[Louise94]

What a truly fantastic response, you've summed it up beautifully xx Paul xx

Need a waffle iron for all the waffling that comes outta my brain!

But thank you xxx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Need a waffle iron for all the waffling that comes outta my brain!

But thank you xxx

No you hit the nail right on the head, once we value our true self and value our own worth and opinions over what others think or say, then and only then can our own true self belief come to the fore and from that our confidence grows and cannot be limited by others xxx Paul

 

[Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane]

There's nothing wrong with anything that comes out of your brain @Louise94 !

 

[Louise94]

Got this stuck in my head now! Xxx

 

[Deleted member 1030]

Got this stuck in my head now! Xxx

That is an unfortunate earworm!

 

[Ahabs]

Got this stuck in my head now! Xxx

I grey up with this. Seen it in Sing-a-longa since

 

[MyKinkyWorld]

It's a difficult question and I don't have an answer, but swinging certainly makes me feel better.

 

[ltj420]

Swinging can be very empowering and give confidence, it can give you the power over your own body, especially if you have had negative experiences when younger, it can made you feel less conscious about body image and stereotypes and make you a better communicator.

Swinging can also make some people feel less confided, especially in some couples, then power dynamic is not equal (I'm not talking about "Dom" "sub" relationships), I've seen people who had confidence lose it due to being forced/manipulated to do thing they don't want to.

Being over confidence in swinging can also be an issue, making you appear unapproachable and cold, confidences with kindness is the key but this is just my opinion x

 

[Stew]

It’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance as a very recent experience proved

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Ive never lacked confidence im very outgoing and can be outspoken at times but ive not been arrogant either in my confidence of myself

 

[Therapon]

Ive never lacked confidence im very outgoing and can be outspoken at times but ive not been arrogant either in my confidence of myself

I've never noticed

Confidence comes from knowing what you are doing or talking about.
Arrogance comes from thinking you know what you are doing or talking about.

Back to the thread, does swinging give you confidence ...... it can when you get chatting to others, getting likes on your profile, pics etc but then that confidence can also easily be dented by being rejected or by unhelpfull comments. It can be a double edged sword, we all get knocked back at times but if you are genuinely confident you take the knocks and move on.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I've never noticed

Confidence comes from knowing what you are doing or talking about.
Arrogance comes from thinking you know what you are doing or talking about.

Back to the thread, does swinging give you confidence ...... it can when you get chatting to others, getting likes on your profile, pics etc but then that confidence can also easily be dented by being rejected or by unhelpfull comments. It can be a double edged sword, we all get knocked back at times but if you are genuinely confident you take the knocks and move on.

Yeah it's the same in all walks of life though isn't it. Take the rough with the smooth.

Oh and as for that;

Confidence comes from knowing what you are doing or talking about.
Arrogance comes from thinking you know what you are doing or talking about.

It's like grammar and -
Knowing your shit
from
Knowing you're shit.

I think, and it's simply my open opinion; you can get too overconfident very easily in this lifestyle and when you then get a setback/knock, it hurts more because you are so overconfident, you don't expect a knock-back.

 

[Stesnaughtyangel]

Feeling confident for both of us is different- me I have the conversation confidence and I am confident with my body in the correct situation however the knock back sometimes can be really tough. Our know backs have come in the form of time wasters and no shows.
For him he’s always gaining body confidence and he is becoming less socially shy. He really dislikes me getting disappointed.
But generally we just take the rough with the smooth.
I say so long as we communicate about how we feel wether it be regarding knock backs or potential set ups, then that’s what’s important x

 

[Pearls]

I just love the forums, love the banter and fun, not interested in media or messaging or likes, for me confidence is just being myself, I get all the compliments I need off the person I want to get them off, I just love the giggles and fun we have on here