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Exclusivity....

Discussion in 'All About Swinging' started by Lips_Pearls, 22 April 2018.

  1. There are some couples I have been meeting regularly, but I have never been exclusive with anyone. Exclusively and regulary are two different concept. In the swinging scene exclusivity can not exist or It's not Swinging.
     
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  2. Ahabs

    Ahabs PV Sprtr

    This reminds me of a "couple" I know elsewhere. By couple I mean:
    They attend socials together, and ONLY play with each other (no one else) and have done so for over 5 years, with no desire to introduce any other person or couple into the dynamic.
    Even though she lives in the midlands and he lives in South East of the country. So the location of the social determines who's travelling to who. However, they still insist they are swingers and this is their way of swinging.

    Don't get me wrong, I am happy for any two people who have found each other: but what they have or are doing isn't swinging.
     
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  3. The only time I would consider myself exclusive with anyone is if I was prepared to give up the lifestyle and be commited 100% in a one on one relationship. I class myself in an open relationship as I have been with someone a few years and we don’t live together. After breaking down every trust barrier between us we swing together, separately, 3 or more and one on one but we never do it without each other’s knowledge or consent xx
     
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  4. PaintedDreams

    PaintedDreams PV Sprtr

    The only thing I'm exclusive with is the Earth and that's not by choice, I'd happily stand on other planets and breathe in their air (dirty boy) I just don't have the spaceship to do it.

    I think being exclusive with someone is a sacrifice.. I believe as humans we are simply not built to be fully satisfied by just one person, we are always interested in/attracted to multiple people as we can't help but be governed by primal urges and be interested in new minds that stimulate our own minds (its not just about bodies) I think to deny this is to try and deny the cold reality (I did use to be an old romantic once)...

    So I think if one is to be exclusive to someone else then that person has to be one hell of a person, a true soul mate to yourself (not in a religious/supernatural made for each other way but just an incredible match in personalities) and I think that kind of thing is like lightning in a bottle, its rare and sadly for most people they will never find that (there might not even be anyone in the world who is that match to you never mind actually coming across them) so most will find someone to fall in love with and have intense feelings for them for around two years and then the love chemicals in the brain become less and that intense love that inspires so many songs goes away (as we are just basically organic machines, the 'love chemical' is a program there to bond two people together for enough time for them to plop out a child and stick around for a bit to protect it when its at its most vulnerable)...

    I think its why they say the best relationships are the ones where you partner is your best friend, because ultimately the heat will go so what are you left with after that, if its a strong friendship then you have something, if there's not then perhaps thats where some relationships break down...

    But then maybe I'm just a cynical broken hearted person who knows nothing.
    Anyway I'm rambling so I'll shut up now, and I've probably not made my point properly but hey ho
     
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  5. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    There is something about a learning curve with regular meets, something we found out recently :censored:
     
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  6. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Absolutely ;) xx
     
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  7. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    Looking forward to next time and trying new things :sneaky:
     
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  8. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    Has new things to try for next time :whistle:
     
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  9. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    One word; Oooooof :D xx
     
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  10. Ahabs

    Ahabs PV Sprtr

    I've been monogamous/exclusive (lasted 3 months), in a poly relationship (lasted a month), and full swinging. I know what I am and what I like.
    If anyone chooses to be exclusive to me, that is entirely their choice as I will never ask it nor seek it, but it's not something I can do ... Ever again.
     
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  11. sthwalescpl

    sthwalescpl Sprtr

    Nope, not for us.
    There are people we have become great friends with through swinging, and we love spending time with them.
    But part of the "buzz" for us is making new friends, and maybe having fun with them if we all get along.
    We don't deliberately "target" newbies or strangers, we just enjoy meeting new people during social events, and then seeing where it goes.
    Another wrinkle is, even if we wanted to, the chances of us being able to meet regularly enough to make it worth the other person(s) continuing exclusivity is slim. "Real life" tends to mean that matching up 3 or 4 diaries is hard, better that they have their fun and we may bump into them at some point.
     
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  12. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Yeah we’d perhaps consider this again, but with someone totally trusted by us and who trusts us too. X
     
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