First impressions

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Deleted member 16044

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)
First impressions count first impressions last and some good impressions last a lot longer.
Judging people is not what a swinger does, well not in my swinging lifestyle
you can meet and look and judge on looks and say in your head fuck no, hell no or yes please based on looks
I do not give a two monkey's hoot, I can see through some people and just think to myself you know what
Do I dress to impress, no, I dress for myself and what makes me happy.
I had the whole wardrobe out Friday night finding co-ordinating clothes for me no one else

Guys will compliment women which is more said than women starting a message to a guy that is in generalisation, I am sure many of us here do, just general mind before you pounce
For me though, messages are messages come what may and we should accept people for who they are regardless of anything, fine the message is not what you like nor want so then politely tell them and leave alone. No need to fester upon a message, I think we do a lot of the time judge someone on a first impression message, to be honest with yourself don't let those unwanted messages fester.

SO, lets see maybe a new thread, How do you start a conversation? What kind of conversation starter are you and do you think out your starter conversation or is it just a simple Hi? What kind of impressive conversation starter do you think would impress? Bearing in mind we are all different here x
 
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D

Deleted member 8095

First impressions count first impressions last and some good impressions last a lot longer.
Judging people is not what a swinger does, well not in my swinging lifestyle
you can meet and look and judge on looks and say in your head fuck no, hell no or yes please based on looks
I do not give a two monkey's hoot, I can see through some people and just think to myself you know what
Do I dress to impress, no, I dress for myself and what makes me happy.
I had the whole wardrobe out Friday night finding co-ordinating clothes for me no one else

Guys will compliment women which is more said than women starting a message to a guy that is in generalisation, I am sure many of us here do, just general mind before you pounce
For me though, messages are messages come what may and we should accept people for who they are regardless of anything, fine the message is not what you like nor want so then politely tell them and leave alone. No need to fester upon a message, I think we do a lot of the time judge someone on a first impression message, to be honest with yourself don't let those unwanted messages fester.

SO, lets see maybe a new thread, How do you start a conversation? What kind of conversation starter are you and do you think out your starter conversation or is it just a simple Hi? What kind of impressive conversation starter do you think would impress? Bearing in mind we are all different here x
I am not judging anyone based on their opening message, my thing is this - we do not get many opportunities to get out and meet people, either for a social or the sexy stuff, hence first impressions do count!

The idea for a new thread is a good one, perhaps you would like to start that ?
 
L

LizandChris

I know we've been a bit quiet on here recently but we've not been.. Inactive?
When we get contacted sometimes it is the usual bland "hi wanna chat" or "how are you", and it was very tempting to dismiss, but I thought why not try and draw out who is behind that, so I almost always try to start a conversation, people very quickly either show themselves to be interesting or less than interesting and it's not always the ones you think
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)
I find it lazy yes. Yes there may be the odd exception to the rule, but I think a bit more effort could be afforded.
Will always make allowances too though.

I’ll tell you what I genuinely don’t like and I had one recently - is a PM, with no hello, no introduction, no manners but speaking to me in a demanding and rather rude way.
Whatever you may think of me, I’m still a human being. If you can’t speak to me politely, then I can only imagine what you’re like in real life.
Manners maketh the man. Manners cost nothing.
I would never dream of contacting someone out of the blue, who I had never ever spoken to before, and not only not introduce myself but not say hello or even ask how I am or how my day is going etc.
It’s just plain rudeness. X
 
D

Deleted member 8095

I find it lazy yes. Yes there may be the odd exception to the rule, but I think a bit more effort could be afforded.
Will always make allowances too though.

I’ll tell you what I genuinely don’t like and I had one recently - is a PM, with no hello, no introduction, no manners but speaking to me in a demanding and rather rude way.
Whatever you may think of me, I’m still a human being. If you can’t speak to me politely, then I can only imagine what you’re like in real life.
Manners maketh the man. Manners cost nothing.
I would never dream of contacting someone out of the blue, who I had never ever spoken to before, and not only not introduce myself but not say hello or even ask how I am or how my day is going etc.
It’s just plain rudeness. X

I think you have just hit the nail on the head, if we were in a club (one that's equal for everyone, even on Saturdays and charges everyone the same amount ?) I wouldn't dream of walking upto someone, anyone and saying "Hi wanna play?" Or walking upto a woman I didn't know and be like "nice tits, can I suck 'em?"
Just because we are not face to face does not mean that politeness goes out the window.

Nerves I understand, we are all human and we will all suffer them at some point in time, BUT bad manners.... that's it, it's the lack of manners that erks me!
 
DandDforfun

MOTM

24 August 2019
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We had someone message us like your pics wanna meet? So we replied saying we like to get to know people a little first and the reply was, ok no worries thanks for your time!
Oh er ok then bye! S xxx
Yep we had one too, like your pics do you want fun with me
Short reply, thanks so much, but not on this occasion ! ?
 
D

Deleted member 16044

I take myself off to meet others does not mean I want to get into anything
I love being social but having the ability to see straight through people means at first impressions NO
yet why is it then we always say ' First impression counts' or in a discussion say ' what was your first impression of her or him' are impressions also kind of judgements ? your thoughts
 
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D

Deleted member 16044

yet why is it then we always say ' First impression counts' or in a discussion say ' what was your first impression of her or him' are impressions also kind of judgements ? your thoughts
A well-known saying urges people to “not judge a book by its cover”.

But the latest university research in the US shows that people tend to do just that - even after they have skimmed a chapter or two.

Vivian Zayas, a professor of psychology at Cornell University In New York, and her colleagues found that people continue to be influenced by another person's appearance even after interacting with them face-to-face.

First impressions formed simply from looking at a photograph predicted how people felt six months later
 
D

Deleted member 16044

A well-known saying urges people to “not judge a book by its cover”.

But the latest university research in the US shows that people tend to do just that - even after they have skimmed a chapter or two.

Vivian Zayas, a professor of psychology at Cornell University In New York, and her colleagues found that people continue to be influenced by another person's appearance even after interacting with them face-to-face.

First impressions formed simply from looking at a photograph predicted how people felt six months later
 
D

Deleted member 8095

yet why is it then we always say ' First impression counts' or in a discussion say ' what was your first impression of her or him' are impressions also kind of judgements ? your thoughts
First impressions in my opinion are different to judgements or pre-judgements, if I were deciding not to interact with someone because they followed a certain football team, that had a bad reputation for violence amongst its fans, then that is me pre-judging that person, but if I got the impression that the same person was a bad egg because I got a gut feeling or that we wouldn't get on based on our interaction then that is something completely different.