Funny Sex Bloopers

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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
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meandlis said:
Not so much a sex blooper, per se, but when we were in Ibiza, a few years back, we decided to take advantage of the nearest nude beach. We got to the beach to find it packed with 'textiles' so, acting upon information received from Google, we walked to the northern end of the beach. After a good 20 minute's walk, we found a spot which was sparsely populated with a few naked folks. As we made camp with our towels and bags, Lis decided she wanted a drink and set back off down the beach to the bar that was near where we'd first arrived. As she disappeared, I bit the bullet and stripped off. Now, I'm no fool and the thought of the Balearic sun burning my, er, more sensitive areas made me search in the bags for some suntan lotion, which I found and applied liberally all over myself, paying special attention to my cock and balls. I then laid back to catch some rays, while the beach filled up. I heard a few sniggers from passers-by but I put that down to me being a fat, pink blob on a beach full of bronzed beauties. Eventually, Lis returned with beer - and tears rolling down her face from laughter! Now... I know that suntan lotion comes in different strengths - I never realised that some of it had gold glitter in it!!! I'd been bloody lying there looking like a melted Oscar :eek: Talk about Goldenballs :rolleyes:
The worst thing was that it was waterproof, so NO amount of dips in the sea would shift the bloody stuff :mad:
Naturally, Lis was not in the least bit sympathetic and spent the whole afternoon peeing herself laughing.
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That's fantastic :D Goldfinger badadadadaaa he's the man... the man with a midas touch..

legseleven said:
Haha you live with @Admin you cant be normal lol xx
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Well thanks! :p

True though :rofl: x
 
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M

meet_the_fockers

meandlis said:
Not so much a sex blooper, per se, but when we were in Ibiza, a few years back, we decided to take advantage of the nearest nude beach. We got to the beach to find it packed with 'textiles' so, acting upon information received from Google, we walked to the northern end of the beach. After a good 20 minute's walk, we found a spot which was sparsely populated with a few naked folks. As we made camp with our towels and bags, Lis decided she wanted a drink and set back off down the beach to the bar that was near where we'd first arrived. As she disappeared, I bit the bullet and stripped off. Now, I'm no fool and the thought of the Balearic sun burning my, er, more sensitive areas made me search in the bags for some suntan lotion, which I found and applied liberally all over myself, paying special attention to my cock and balls. I then laid back to catch some rays, while the beach filled up. I heard a few sniggers from passers-by but I put that down to me being a fat, pink blob on a beach full of bronzed beauties. Eventually, Lis returned with beer - and tears rolling down her face from laughter! Now... I know that suntan lotion comes in different strengths - I never realised that some of it had gold glitter in it!!! I'd been bloody lying there looking like a melted Oscar :eek: Talk about Goldenballs :rolleyes:
The worst thing was that it was waterproof, so NO amount of dips in the sea would shift the bloody stuff :mad:
Naturally, Lis was not in the least bit sympathetic and spent the whole afternoon peeing herself laughing.
Click to expand...
:rofl: oh bless ya.. :rofl:
 
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2ofus

2ofus

17 December 2015
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Aldington
meandlis said:
Not so much a sex blooper, per se, but when we were in Ibiza, a few years back, we decided to take advantage of the nearest nude beach. We got to the beach to find it packed with 'textiles' so, acting upon information received from Google, we walked to the northern end of the beach. After a good 20 minute's walk, we found a spot which was sparsely populated with a few naked folks. As we made camp with our towels and bags, Lis decided she wanted a drink and set back off down the beach to the bar that was near where we'd first arrived. As she disappeared, I bit the bullet and stripped off. Now, I'm no fool and the thought of the Balearic sun burning my, er, more sensitive areas made me search in the bags for some suntan lotion, which I found and applied liberally all over myself, paying special attention to my cock and balls. I then laid back to catch some rays, while the beach filled up. I heard a few sniggers from passers-by but I put that down to me being a fat, pink blob on a beach full of bronzed beauties. Eventually, Lis returned with beer - and tears rolling down her face from laughter! Now... I know that suntan lotion comes in different strengths - I never realised that some of it had gold glitter in it!!! I'd been bloody lying there looking like a melted Oscar :eek: Talk about Goldenballs :rolleyes:
The worst thing was that it was waterproof, so NO amount of dips in the sea would shift the bloody stuff :mad:
Naturally, Lis was not in the least bit sympathetic and spent the whole afternoon peeing herself laughing.
Click to expand...

Now THAT is funny!! Sorry .. I DO empathise, it's just that I'm empathising through eyes full of tears, and a mouthful of inane cackling right now!!! :D
 
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Mr_Ian2

scrunchymuffet said:
So I'm sure we've all had something go horribly wrong during sex that made you laugh so much you thought you might wee. Cmon don't be shy...tell Auntie Di xx

Our was me and Mr M just about to get jiggy. Mr M reached for the lube and proceeded to lube up the foo foo. I start thinking hmmmmm this feels a bit warm... which quickly went to shit my foo foo is on fire. He'd only gone and lubed me up with ibuleve gel. Once he'd stopped laughing he helped me, little swine. I do not recommend anti inflammatory gel on ones foo foo. Xxxx
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is that like Deep Heat??? :eek:
 
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H

Hollynys

scrunchymuffet said:
So I'm sure we've all had something go horribly wrong during sex that made you laugh so much you thought you might wee. Cmon don't be shy...tell Auntie Di xx

Our was me and Mr M just about to get jiggy. Mr M reached for the lube and proceeded to lube up the foo foo. I start thinking hmmmmm this feels a bit warm... which quickly went to shit my foo foo is on fire. He'd only gone and lubed me up with ibuleve gel. Once he'd stopped laughing he helped me, little swine. I do not recommend anti inflammatory gel on ones foo foo. Xxxx
Click to expand...


Had a similar situation with Durex Tingle....not sure why, it must have been a dodgy batch but I was literally on fire.....not pleasant.
 
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D

Deleted member 1402

on a meet, a guy put vicks vapour rub on my butt hole......talk about ring of fire! The whole meet was a disaster and I stopped seeing single guys for 2 years!
 
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