When It Goes....

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D

Deleted member 11852

Last year when Hubby suggested joining this site I was like “are you for real “. But after sitting down and discussing it I agreed to give it a go. We had a bit of a wobble a couple of weeks in and started taking all our media down etc, but Admin intervened and helped us immensely to see that we had done nothing wrong and persuaded us to stay.
Since October we have met some lovely people and while you won’t have a connection with everyone it doesn’t matter. These people become friends. We have had a couple of liaisons ( as @Pearls ) says, different experiences from both. But again lovely genuine people.
I was even a little brave a couple of months ago and started a thread called Honesty. All we ask as a couple is that people are open and honest from the start. If we start chatting and then talking about a liaison but you change your mind that’s absolutely fine, but please tell us.
The last thing we want to do is to have anyone thinking we are pestering them. We know we are not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine, it can just be so frustrating if people don’t let you know what they really want.
I love being on this site and have grown so much in confidence since being here. That’s down to you lovely people and for that I thank you all.
Our lovely owners and Admin do so much to protect us all and we as a couple would hate to lose that.
Thanks for letting me waffle xxxx M
 
21 June 2019
135
246
City
Epping
Morning folks, hope you’ve all had your weetabix :D

Ok getting back to this.. :eek: Yes you know me, not to beat about the bush! Well maybe on some occasion :whistle:

So firstly and most importantly for us both is the site name, when we started this, we wanted to create something that was the complete opposite of drab mingers (and yes, drab and mingers is what it is) after spending years on there. We love the scene but we loved making friends and socialising but that site just couldn’t give us what we were looking for, yes we made friends but we just never felt the site was a fun place to be and lack of security played hugely on our minds, especially everything being so public.

So Social Swingers began and we still do feel it was the best thing we've ever done but going back to the name.. Social!
If I were to take you guys back 5 years then you wouldn't recognise the place, being social is what it was all about, fun was the name of the game and the swingers that were on the same wave length as us had a damn good time here, now you’re thinking what’s changed?

Sadly not us.
What’s changed is the scene and people which I've tried emphasising in other threads.
Swingers five years ago are not the same now and that’s down to simply and sadly, no understanding fully on how it works and basic etiquette, yes it’s true, also swinging back then was still very much underground, due to other places, dating apps and press it’s been ruined. Long gone are the days of pampas grass and keys in a bowl.

Swinging isn't dating or looking to date or looking for love, swinging isn't about being unfaithful with meets and I mean meets not personal circumstances, yes it happens, swinging isn't about “fancy a shag tonight”

Going back again to this site.
Social is in the name and swingers we are but if this isn't you then jog on and this is why..
We only want social people here and if you want any tips on being social online then it’s simple, interact or acknowledge.
Negativity is breeding and it’s all down to a select few but others are following suit.
If you look below you will all see what we see, who has viewed the thread, now you may not like the thread and have no intention of replying in it, fair enough.. Is it fair though to ignore it? What is the problem in acknowledging it with a like. Let’s be honest do you think as staff we would allow a thread to stay if it were in extreme poor taste?
We delete regularly for your protection.
By a simply like on a post or thread you are not only being social but creating content and as the boss says, content is king. That simple alert to someone shows interaction.

We have sat back for a little while and watched, watched our once fun and honest site turn into a place that isn't what we thought would ever become,
The same people interacting but only with each other, god forbid a new person tries to get involved, remember what we created and remember we wanted a site that is social for swingers.

So for us personally, people who are ignorant and rude, we will not interact with you and I say ignorant because there are many that are.
If people want to view our threads and our posts especially pic of the day where we choose to add our personal photos and they simply view and walk by then you should choose a site that isn’t socially interactive
I have mentioned before, if someone tries to chat to you in public, maybe at an event, would you look at them and say nothing?
Would we meet people personally or at an event that chooses to ignore us here online? Hell no.
Our pet hate is pure ignorance and bad manners.

Oh and to all the haters that want to argue that they have the choice or right to like or not, ask yourself this, if you are a swinger and enjoy being social online then there is your answer.

One last thing, we get plonkas join daily, some are banned before they get through the door, some we give the benefit of the doubt, I had a message Tuesday morning off a young man, you may have seen on my profile, the message read,
“Hi gorgeous, nice legs, I would love to get to know you better so can you give me your number so we can ******”
We as a couple exchange numbers with who ever we meet, yet we have never chatted apart from the odd message here and there and still only do so here, how can we keep activity here when people get dragged away?
You may say that’s what most do! If we were a big site then it can take it but we are small so the damage will hit us sadly, if a newbie joins and goes straight into messaging offering numbers then what chance to we have eh?

So when it’s gone..
It will be gone sadly because it’s not the socially fun place we created, we are still the fun social swingers we were when we started and we will carry on to be with or with out the site, just remember folks we started this for personal fun as we couldn't cope with other sites.
We provide you with a platform For you, we give you the opportunity to meet people, if it wasn't for this site you wouldn't have the group of friends you have.
As staff we moderate daily and put up with crap from people that you have no idea about but we do it to supply you all with a safe haven, all we ask in return is activity.

If you don’t want to be a social swinger then when it’s gone all you’ll have is the group of friends you have.

As owners and human beings we will focus on people who enjoy what we offer and nothing less. As for the future of the site, remember folks it’s you who make or break it and we can’t carry it. You have the tools to create content and show interaction, don’t wait for us to do it. If you want to be a part of this then you can run the show without us.

Our advertising when we first started was
Social swinging, a site designed for swingers by swingers.. A welcoming community!

We still go by that motto and will carry on to do so but you guys are the ones that need to understand being unsociable isn't going to help this site evolve.

I hope I've given a little insight into what we are about and what we tried to achieve here.
Lots of love
Admin and me :love:xx
Aloha..
Hope you guys okay..bit confusing what happened?
Make most of every second, life is beautiful...
Doing something the right way will always win!
Nico
 
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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
Last year when Hubby suggested joining this site I was like “are you for real “. But after sitting down and discussing it I agreed to give it a go. We had a bit of a wobble a couple of weeks in and started taking all our media down etc, but Admin intervened and helped us immensely to see that we had done nothing wrong and persuaded us to stay.
Since October we have met some lovely people and while you won’t have a connection with everyone it doesn’t matter. These people become friends. We have had a couple of liaisons ( as @Pearls ) says, different experiences from both. But again lovely genuine people.
I was even a little brave a couple of months ago and started a thread called Honesty. All we ask as a couple is that people are open and honest from the start. If we start chatting and then talking about a liaison but you change your mind that’s absolutely fine, but please tell us.
The last thing we want to do is to have anyone thinking we are pestering them. We know we are not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine, it can just be so frustrating if people don’t let you know what they really want.
I love being on this site and have grown so much in confidence since being here. That’s down to you lovely people and for that I thank you all.
Our lovely owners and Admin do so much to protect us all and we as a couple would hate to lose that.
Thanks for letting me waffle xxxx M
You’ve done amazing, I remember how shy you were when you joined. :D It didn’t take long though:eek: more thread starters from members is what we need. Don’t be nervous, you can waffle and chat about anything as long as it’s legal :whistle:
 
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MP386

MOTM

9 November 2015
28,458
66,016
58
I’ve been reading through this for a while now still not totally understanding it :palm: maybe I’m just thick ... don’t answer that :p ... I don’t like every post and I’m not going too , I won’t do that normally I don’t wholesale agree with everything that’s said if that makes me rude , so be it I’ve been recently called worse on here ....
When I can I spend ages on here , more time than I should it’s part of daily routine would I miss it ... yes probably....have to find some other way to occupy my hands :rofl::p
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
I’ve been reading through this for a while now still not totally understanding it :palm: maybe I’m just thick ... don’t answer that :p ... I don’t like every post and I’m not going too , I won’t do that normally I don’t wholesale agree with everything that’s said if that makes me rude , so be it I’ve been recently called worse on here ....
When I can I spend ages on here , more time than I should it’s part of daily routine would I miss it ... yes probably....have to find some other way to occupy my hands :rofl::p
Shush will you, you interact and acknowledge posts, this is about people who do nothing at all but look (y)
 
D

Deleted member 11852

I’ve been reading through this for a while now still not totally understanding it :palm: maybe I’m just thick ... don’t answer that :p ... I don’t like every post and I’m not going too , I won’t do that normally I don’t wholesale agree with everything that’s said if that makes me rude , so be it I’ve been recently called worse on here ....
When I can I spend ages on here , more time than I should it’s part of daily routine would I miss it ... yes probably....have to find some other way to occupy my hands :rofl::p
You do make me giggle sometimes xx M
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
I didn't want to say too much after my initial posts, but have to say kudos to @Pearls for an exemplary post, which encapsulates our feelings, in a collective and mutually respective way. Mine in particular. A really, really well written post. She has brought up to attention, things we've spotted over a long period of time - without saying anything. An observation if you will.
Yes, she can scare me at times too! :eek: :whistle: :D xx


Also I want to say that the responses and posts have been refreshing to read and see.
Imagine you build a community centre with your own skills, hands and talent. Then you get a willing volunteer of a team to help you with the whole thing.

This centre gives everything you need from support, to real sitting down and talking situations. It fills, naturally and healthily on its own, great!
Soon, groups start forming (which is normal... check forming, storming, norming if you are unsure.) and now, instead of greeting other centre attendees, they sit and stare.
Watching. Eyeing you up & down without saying a word. Every now and again they approach you, but say nothing whatsoever and then simply walk away.
They often do, acknowledge others from within their own table and ignore everyone else around them, but still walk over to other people, not just you either, eyeball them, don't speak, don't respond, but walk away from them also too!

Ask yourself this; would you stay in that community centre or leave? Knowing some people, look, eyeball you, walk over to your single square metre of personal space, then walk away without saying a word.
Would you stay?
That is what's happened and it's not healthy for you, not healthy for us, but most of all not healthy at all for the community centre.

So, let's hope that things can go back to previous times - where everyone was your friend or a friend of a friend, regardless of the clique you may belong to.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met. (y) :sneaky: ;) x
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
I didn't want to say too much after my initial posts, but have to say kudos to @Pearls for an exemplary post, which encapsulates our feelings, in a collective and mutually respective way. Mine in particular. A really, really well written post. She has brought up to attention, things we've spotted over a long period of time - without saying anything. An observation if you will.
Yes, she can scare me at times too! :eek: :whistle: :D xx


Also I want to say that the responses and posts have been refreshing to read and see.
Imagine you build a community centre with your own skills, hands and talent. Then you get a willing volunteer of a team to help you with the whole thing.

This centre gives everything you need from support, to real sitting down and talking situations. It fills, naturally and healthily on its own, great!
Soon, groups start forming (which is normal... check forming, storming, norming if you are unsure.) and now, instead of greeting other centre attendees, they sit and stare.
Watching. Eyeing you up & down without saying a word. Every now and again they approach you, but say nothing whatsoever and then simply walk away.
They often do, acknowledge others from within their own table and ignore everyone else around them, but still walk over to other people, not just you either, eyeball them, don't speak, don't respond, but walk away from them also too!

Ask yourself this; would you stay in that community centre or leave? Knowing some people, look, eyeball you, walk over to your single square metre of personal space, then walk away without saying a word.
Would you stay?
That is what's happened and it's not healthy for you, not healthy for us, but most of all not healthy at all for the community centre.

So, let's hope that things can go back to previous times - where everyone was your friend or a friend of a friend, regardless of the clique you may belong to.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met. (y) :sneaky: ;) x
Was I scary then? :whistle:Xx
 
MP386

MOTM

9 November 2015
28,458
66,016
58
I didn't want to say too much after my initial posts, but have to say kudos to @Pearls for an exemplary post, which encapsulates our feelings, in a collective and mutually respective way. Mine in particular. A really, really well written post. She has brought up to attention, things we've spotted over a long period of time - without saying anything. An observation if you will.
Yes, she can scare me at times too! :eek: :whistle: :D xx


Also I want to say that the responses and posts have been refreshing to read and see.
Imagine you build a community centre with your own skills, hands and talent. Then you get a willing volunteer of a team to help you with the whole thing.

This centre gives everything you need from support, to real sitting down and talking situations. It fills, naturally and healthily on its own, great!
Soon, groups start forming (which is normal... check forming, storming, norming if you are unsure.) and now, instead of greeting other centre attendees, they sit and stare.
Watching. Eyeing you up & down without saying a word. Every now and again they approach you, but say nothing whatsoever and then simply walk away.
They often do, acknowledge others from within their own table and ignore everyone else around them, but still walk over to other people, not just you either, eyeball them, don't speak, don't respond, but walk away from them also too!

Ask yourself this; would you stay in that community centre or leave? Knowing some people, look, eyeball you, walk over to your single square metre of personal space, then walk away without saying a word.
Would you stay?
That is what's happened and it's not healthy for you, not healthy for us, but most of all not healthy at all for the community centre.

So, let's hope that things can go back to previous times - where everyone was your friend or a friend of a friend, regardless of the clique you may belong to.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met. (y) :sneaky: ;) x
Have you been on the London Underground.....personal space means nothing,smile or say hello your likely to get stabbed these days .... that would be an exciting social trips around and around the Central Line body armour and riot shields optional ...opps wrong thread ...
:palm:
 
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26 October 2018
3,746
8,083
70
I didn't want to say too much after my initial posts, but have to say kudos to @Pearls for an exemplary post, which encapsulates our feelings, in a collective and mutually respective way. Mine in particular. A really, really well written post. She has brought up to attention, things we've spotted over a long period of time - without saying anything. An observation if you will.
Yes, she can scare me at times too! :eek: :whistle: :D xx


Also I want to say that the responses and posts have been refreshing to read and see.
Imagine you build a community centre with your own skills, hands and talent. Then you get a willing volunteer of a team to help you with the whole thing.

This centre gives everything you need from support, to real sitting down and talking situations. It fills, naturally and healthily on its own, great!
Soon, groups start forming (which is normal... check forming, storming, norming if you are unsure.) and now, instead of greeting other centre attendees, they sit and stare.
Watching. Eyeing you up & down without saying a word. Every now and again they approach you, but say nothing whatsoever and then simply walk away.
They often do, acknowledge others from within their own table and ignore everyone else around them, but still walk over to other people, not just you either, eyeball them, don't speak, don't respond, but walk away from them also too!

Ask yourself this; would you stay in that community centre or leave? Knowing some people, look, eyeball you, walk over to your single square metre of personal space, then walk away without saying a word.
Would you stay?
That is what's happened and it's not healthy for you, not healthy for us, but most of all not healthy at all for the community centre.

So, let's hope that things can go back to previous times - where everyone was your friend or a friend of a friend, regardless of the clique you may belong to.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met. (y) :sneaky: ;) x
I often interact with newcomers some ignore (their choice) others chat (again their choice) but it costs nothing to acknowledge and have a little interaction even if there is no physical attraction , just saying ! :tiphat:
 
30 March 2017
1,644
4,037
City
High Wycombe
Have you been on the London Underground.....personal space means nothing,smile or say hello your likely to get stabbed these days .... that would be an exciting social trips around and around the Central Line body armour and riot shields optional ...opps wrong thread ...
:palm:

So true! I use it regularly unfortunately!
No one ever smiles or speaks :(
 
TherLegs

MOTM

11 December 2016
3,664
9,270
So my personal thoughts on this thread and it is a general overview of what I see. We have some interesting responses but I have to agree with all @Pearls has said.
This site is nothing without the members but those members need to contribute to make the site what it is. Some do, many don't they just view media and threads but add nothing, well some might comment on media.
Some think the site is quiet, some want to see more media but if that is what you want then lead by example, create threads, add photo's. We all have real lives, we don't all have lots of spare time however adding media, adding a reply to a thread takes minutes and it also helps other members get an idea about you.
And again from one of @Pearls comments
#Contentisking

Use it or lose it.
 
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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
So my personal thoughts on this thread and it is a general overview of what I see. We have some interesting responses but I have to agree with all @Pearls has said.
This site is nothing without the members but those members need to contribute to make the site what it is. Some do, many don't they just view media and threads but add nothing, well some might comment on media.
Some think the site is quiet, some want to see more media but if that is what you want then lead by example, create threads, add photo's. We all have real lives, we don't all have lots of spare time however adding media, adding a reply to a thread takes minutes and it also helps other members get an idea about you.
And again from one of @Pearls comments
#Contentisking

Use it or lose it.
Thanks both and bang on, we can’t keep carrying the site, it should be now a place where members are in control and creating content.
Use it or lose it (y)xx
 
D

Deleted member 6127

Another great thread...

As our site says it’s Social Swinging...
Social...we are here because other sites are meat markets and are a place that can be intimidating, reduce your self confidence and behaviour that in a face to face to situation would end up with facial reconstruction.
Here we are safe and have the chance to interact with other like minded people in the knowledge that the staff here are covering our backs.
So it’s only polite that if we are viewing and reading threads, messages or pictures we acknowledge that people have taken the time to do something that maybe be outside their comfort zone and by not taking the time to acknowledge we can in turn foster their insecurities.
Swinging...hell thats why we are here to enjoy our lifestyle, meet people, expand our experiences and most of all ENJOY the time....get them knickers off you sexy bunch.

Ramblings of a ......

Xxxx :0)) T