The thing is, it can feel incredibly awkward to know that you've developed certain needs, preferences and desires, and have no idea how to find the kind of people you can fulfil them with - and that's true of anything that isn't strictly 'normal' or vanilla. That's not to say there's anything wrong with those with vanilla tastes - to each their own!
Usually, the next step is to find some sort of website where you can chat to and potentially meet people with similar interests. Be wary though that kinksters tend not to want hook-ups. The nature of BDSM is such that it requires a greater extent of communication and trust, so although not impossible, it's far more likely they'll suggest meeting at a munch and having a chat.
"What the heck is a munch?" I hear you ask. Well, the term 'munch' derived, so I'm told, from when kink was far less accepted and really an underground activity. Kinksters would get together for a 'meeting at lunch' and the term eventually shortened to 'munch'. It's a regular, social event where kinksters get together and talk. When I say social, I mean just that - the convention is that play does not happen at these events. The dress code varies, but unless it's taking place at a specialist venue, the dress code is usually "streetwear" - wear whatever you like as long as you would normally wear it out and about. Some venues encourage "fetish wear" - this will include wearing leather, latex, PVC, collars, leads, sexy outfits, pretty much anything you can think of. More often than not, the dress code isn't mandatory - the event listing will specify all of this.
So, you turn up to this munch you've heard about. Kudos to you, for starters. It takes some real confidence to walk in to a venue, unsure of what to expect. You made it!
There will be organisers there - someone in charge - whether it's obvious or not. I certainly didn't look obvious. I'm only 5'4 and I look pretty normal most of the time! That said, at all the munches I've been to, there's always an organiser with their eye on the door ready to greet newcomers. They'll come over, introduce themselves and put you at ease by chatting and/ or asking any questions that you've got. From there, you'll be able to talk to everyone at the munch and get to know about what the community has to offer. You're a kinkster now, buddy!
Usually, the next step is to find some sort of website where you can chat to and potentially meet people with similar interests. Be wary though that kinksters tend not to want hook-ups. The nature of BDSM is such that it requires a greater extent of communication and trust, so although not impossible, it's far more likely they'll suggest meeting at a munch and having a chat.
"What the heck is a munch?" I hear you ask. Well, the term 'munch' derived, so I'm told, from when kink was far less accepted and really an underground activity. Kinksters would get together for a 'meeting at lunch' and the term eventually shortened to 'munch'. It's a regular, social event where kinksters get together and talk. When I say social, I mean just that - the convention is that play does not happen at these events. The dress code varies, but unless it's taking place at a specialist venue, the dress code is usually "streetwear" - wear whatever you like as long as you would normally wear it out and about. Some venues encourage "fetish wear" - this will include wearing leather, latex, PVC, collars, leads, sexy outfits, pretty much anything you can think of. More often than not, the dress code isn't mandatory - the event listing will specify all of this.
So, you turn up to this munch you've heard about. Kudos to you, for starters. It takes some real confidence to walk in to a venue, unsure of what to expect. You made it!
There will be organisers there - someone in charge - whether it's obvious or not. I certainly didn't look obvious. I'm only 5'4 and I look pretty normal most of the time! That said, at all the munches I've been to, there's always an organiser with their eye on the door ready to greet newcomers. They'll come over, introduce themselves and put you at ease by chatting and/ or asking any questions that you've got. From there, you'll be able to talk to everyone at the munch and get to know about what the community has to offer. You're a kinkster now, buddy!
