First club visit? Are you unsure? What to expect.

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J

jonyandjaney

thanks for the info, we are looking at visiting VA early next year, it will be the first time for both of us and janey is looking forward to some xtra male attention, shes a tad nervous but im sure once i get her warmed up she will relax and get into the swing x
 
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M

meet_the_fockers

thanks for the info, we are looking at visiting VA early next year, it will be the first time for both of us and janey is looking forward to some xtra male attention, shes a tad nervous but im sure once i get her warmed up she will relax and get into the swing x
Im sure you will have a brilliant time, ive heard nothing but good re:- the V.A.
Discus your bounderies before you go.. as im sure you will. Enjoy the visit.. relax and go with the flow.
There is i believe a social coming up, at the V.A, arranged by this site, for the users of this site, around March next year.. just a thought guys. X
 
B

Bump-n-Grind

Ive been messaged on a couple of occasions, asking for advice from people, hoping to visit a club for the first time. So i thought id throw a few words together.. I am by no means an expert. Although.. we have been to a fair few clubs/socials. These have been Manchester/Wirral N.West based clubs. Clubs in other parts of the country maybe slightly different?

I will try to give some of the answers to some of the questions ive been asked...Everyone is different everyone has different expectations.. but here are some of mine.
Take a deep breathe before you go in.. This is sometimes the hardest part.
If you tell the owners/ management its your first time, they will more than likely give you the option of a guided tour, explaining the rules as you stroll around.
Some clubs are immediate dress down, some ask that you dress down by say 22.00 23.00?
Some only ask that you dress down, when you leave the lounge area..
Its not polite to wander around amongst play rooms in your wellies and parker. :D when others are scantily clad.
Right drinks..
some have liquor licenses but... the drinks are usually very cheap. In some venues a bar tab is set in place and you pay your bill before leaving.
Some dont have a liquor license... they all sell soft drinks and coffee.
You are usually permitted to take your own alcohol, to unlicensed venues.
It will be kept behind the bar for you.. your locker key usually has a number on which will correspond, with the drinks you placed behind the bar complicated? its not.
Watch your alchol intake, tipsy is fun, paralletic is not.. and maybe very annoying for other visitors.. plus may/will greatly cloud your judgement re- play and previously discussed bounderies..
Etiquette.
.. Much like your usual night out.. smile.
If someone makes a bee-line for you drop it into the conversation, what it is your looking for.
They may only be looking to chat?
You will know the difference.
Mingle.. remember the other club goers are just like YOU. They are like minded.
You dont have to run round naked all night waving your hands in the air.. ;D
you may prefer to sit and chat in the lounge area and solialise all night..
Its up to YOU.
Finally only do what you are comfortable doing..DISCUS before your visit your bounderies between you and stick to them, if you have a change of heart whilst there, again mull it over between yourselves... I cant stress this enough.
A polite no thankyou is all it takes.. if the advice isnt heeded speak to the owner/manager.
theres a misconception re clubs being full of writhing bodies..
In some of the play rooms? Maybe so?... in the lounge/bar area not so.
Above all enjoy.
treat it like a fun night out..
towels are provided for dress down/jacuzi/pool use.
Gents can take their own shorts.
Ladies dress down..
basques tiny skirts.. lacey see through dresses, underwear. Depends what you feel comfortable in.
Lockers are provided in the changing areas, usually for a deposit. Think locker ..wristband ..swimming..

No photography!!
☆☆☆☆☆ important☆☆☆☆☆
Please check the clubs website, before heading out..
whats on, on the night before you visit.
prices
licensed or unlicensed.
ID TAKE SOME FORM OF ID..
We have had some of the best crazy social nights ever in clubs.. danced laughed, chilled in a jacuzzi or swimming pool with a drink. Even played pool all night.
Relax enjoy.
Go with no expectations..
Hope this helps elivate some of your fears, and answers a few, of the questions ive been asked.
Happy Clubbing♡♡♡ :D

The only thing we could add to this is that everyone gets nervous before they go but as far as swinging goes it was without doubt the best step we ever took.
Clubs gave us the best opportunity to speak to other swingers & a very safe environment to play.
We've been to many clubs now & made friends in pretty much all of them, but as the OP says the more you mingle the better it is, don't be afraid to chat at the bar, 9 times out of 10 it's worked for us & we really have had some of the most amazing nights. We hear so many people say they want to get a few private meets under their belt before they venture to a club & although it's each to their own, we'd recommend a club first because at he end of the day it's the safest environment to swing.
Hope our additional advice helps xx
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,127
95,504
The only thing we could add to this is that everyone gets nervous before they go but as far as swinging goes it was without doubt the best step we ever took.
Clubs gave us the best opportunity to speak to other swingers & a very safe environment to play.
We've been to many clubs now & made friends in pretty much all of them, but as the OP says the more you mingle the better it is, don't be afraid to chat at the bar, 9 times out of 10 it's worked for us & we really have had some of the most amazing nights. We hear so many people say they want to get a few private meets under their belt before they venture to a club & although it's each to their own, we'd recommend a club first because at he end of the day it's the safest environment to swing.
Hope our additional advice helps xx
This is genuinely some excellent advice.. I totally agree, the more you mingle the better it is.
The same for this site too.

And I also agree it's a safe environment for swinging. Not always, but mostly. :) (y) x
 
C

cazbella69

Brilliant advice. I have been to a few clubs and have never had any problems. The atmosphere is relaxed and I have met couples who just want to relax and not play which there is no pressure to do otherwise. Hopefully after reading this I might be able to persuade my husband to finally come along too. At the end of the day, its all about having fun, (whether you join in it is up to you) with like minded people.
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Brilliant advice. I have been to a few clubs and have never had any problems. The atmosphere is relaxed and I have met couples who just want to relax and not play which there is no pressure to do otherwise. Hopefully after reading this I might be able to persuade my husband to finally come along too. At the end of the day, its all about having fun, (whether you join in it is up to you) with like minded people.
Glad you found it a little useful.
In all honesty we rarely play in clubs, we have done but its rare.
We find ourselves more comfortable in clubs, on the whole than we do in town on a Saturday night. We are surrounded by like minded individuals.. who are a lot more repectful than the occasional yob in town.
We treat it like our local with benefits :D
Mr F took some persuading to try the club scene.. but has now never looked back hmm the veiws maybe :eek:
Where else can you chill with a drink in a pool on a saturday night... X
 
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B

Bump-n-Grind

The beauty of arranging a first meet with a couple in a club too is that if for whatever reason, maybe a late cancellation or a lack of chemistry between you all, then the night is not a complete loss. The opportunity to meet new people or reacquaint yourselves with old friends is still there.
A meet outside of a club with the same issues can leave you a little more disappointed, especially if your play time is hard to come by, eg shifts, babysitters etc.
The club meet also allows you keep a degree of anonymity if you're not comfortable with a home meet & the security of it being in a place with set rules (no always means no in a club).
If any couples want to chat to us about the club scene don't hesitate to ask. We've been to quite a lot in the North & the Midlands & hopefully what we've experienced can you out :)

Mr Bump & Mrs Grind
 
M

Mootje

Ive been messaged on a couple of occasions, asking for advice from people, hoping to visit a club for the first time. So i thought id throw a few words together.. I am by no means an expert. Although.. we have been to a fair few clubs/socials. These have been Manchester/Wirral N.West based clubs. Clubs in other parts of the country maybe slightly different?

I will try to give some of the answers to some of the questions ive been asked...Everyone is different everyone has different expectations.. but here are some of mine.
Take a deep breathe before you go in.. This is sometimes the hardest part.
If you tell the owners/ management its your first time, they will more than likely give you the option of a guided tour, explaining the rules as you stroll around.
Some clubs are immediate dress down, some ask that you dress down by say 22.00 23.00?
Some only ask that you dress down, when you leave the lounge area..
Its not polite to wander around amongst play rooms in your wellies and parker. :D when others are scantily clad.
Right drinks..
some have liquor licenses but... the drinks are usually very cheap. In some venues a bar tab is set in place and you pay your bill before leaving.
Some dont have a liquor license... they all sell soft drinks and coffee.
You are usually permitted to take your own alcohol, to unlicensed venues.
It will be kept behind the bar for you.. your locker key usually has a number on which will correspond, with the drinks you placed behind the bar complicated? its not.
Watch your alchol intake, tipsy is fun, paralletic is not.. and maybe very annoying for other visitors.. plus may/will greatly cloud your judgement re- play and previously discussed bounderies..
Etiquette.
.. Much like your usual night out.. smile.
If someone makes a bee-line for you drop it into the conversation, what it is your looking for.
They may only be looking to chat?
You will know the difference.
Mingle.. remember the other club goers are just like YOU. They are like minded.
You dont have to run round naked all night waving your hands in the air.. ;D
you may prefer to sit and chat in the lounge area and solialise all night..
Its up to YOU.
Finally only do what you are comfortable doing..DISCUS before your visit your bounderies between you and stick to them, if you have a change of heart whilst there, again mull it over between yourselves... I cant stress this enough.
A polite no thankyou is all it takes.. if the advice isnt heeded speak to the owner/manager.
theres a misconception re clubs being full of writhing bodies..
In some of the play rooms? Maybe so?... in the lounge/bar area not so.
Above all enjoy.
treat it like a fun night out..
towels are provided for dress down/jacuzi/pool use.
Gents can take their own shorts.
Ladies dress down..
basques tiny skirts.. lacey see through dresses, underwear. Depends what you feel comfortable in.
Lockers are provided in the changing areas, usually for a deposit. Think locker ..wristband ..swimming..

No photography!!
☆☆☆☆☆ important☆☆☆☆☆
Please check the clubs website, before heading out..
whats on, on the night before you visit.
prices
licensed or unlicensed.
ID TAKE SOME FORM OF ID..
We have had some of the best crazy social nights ever in clubs.. danced laughed, chilled in a jacuzzi or swimming pool with a drink. Even played pool all night.
Relax enjoy.
Go with no expectations..
Hope this helps elivate some of your fears, and answers a few, of the questions ive been asked.
Happy Clubbing♡♡♡ :D
Very well said info, thanks, useful, to the point and sounds more than enough thanks @meet_the_fockers xx
 
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9 January 2016
481
1,417
City
Reading
Seems like a good place to share the story of my first (and until next Friday, only) visit to a club - from the perspective of a single guy (apologies in advance, i got to the end and realised it was quite long, so grab a coffee and make yourself comfy)

So i arrived at the club, and headed straight to the bar ;) standard ! Only a soft drink for me, as prefer to have my wits about me, and getting pissed would inevitably backfire. I then went for a wander around the club, it was still quiet, noone 'playing', a few others milling around, some sitting in the bar. There was a mix of private play rooms, glory hole rooms, an S&M room, open standing cinema area with porn playing and a large bed in the middle of the room, another room with a large bed and viewing area - sufficed to say i hadnt been in a place like this before :eek:
I was thinking a cross between 'what have i let myself in for' and 'when does the party get started' - it was quite an adrenalin rush.

I headed back to the bar, nothing particularly exciting going on, went for another wander, and so it continued for another 30 mins. What am i supposed to do I wondered - I hadnt had the benefit of searching out advice from a site like this, I hadnt had any advice at all really.

Eventually i casually saltered over to where a couple were standing talking, made eye contact and just said "hello". They were both really friendly and we got talking and unsurprisingly we got talking about swinging. I fessed up that this was my first time, and as they had been clubbing for a few years, just asked a few 'newbie' questions around how it all worked.
They talked about their experiences, clubs they had been to, how they approached swinging (sometimes together, sometimes apart), whilst I listened intently. I was initially shocked how open they were, and even more shocked how open I was in return, but soon came to realise (and this site has only confirmed this for me) that these environments are so safe to be within where you can just be yourself, with no judgement, and that as long as you behave like a decent human being, it can be an incredibly relaxing place.

Now I had no pre-conceptions where this conversation would lead, I was just proud of myself having overcome my first hurdle, and fully expected to then hunt out other people for a chat, when the lady asked if i wanted to go and play.
At that point, a little part of my brain exploded - it was almost surreal. Anyway, i quickly got over the shock and said "absolutely". This was not the lady's first visit here, so I let her lead me to one of the private rooms, which she locked behind us.
Seconds later she was literally clawing at my clothes, trying to unbutton my shirt and get my trousers off at the same time, whilst snogging and groping throughout - it was fair to say my first trip to a swingers club was going ok (y)
She wasnt in to long drawn sessions and i think we both came away from our time in the room very satisfied, as we returned to the bar, where she went back to her husband, and i grabbed another J20.

Feeling quite chuffed with myself, I went for another little wander.

By this time, a number of people had gathered in the large cinema room, and at the centre of it all, was a lady lying on the bed, with several guys ensuring she was enjoying herself.
I ended up being one of these guys, as this lady clearly liked a ton of attention.
For some reason, i must have left my inhibitions in the car, because I proceeded to have sex with this lady with around 15 onlookers.

You know sometimes when you go into something with high expectations but they always fall short - well this wasnt one of those occasions. In fact, the most embarrased I felt was when some guy came up to me in the bar a little later, patted me on the back and said "well done" for the show he had just watched lol

The rest of the evening was spent watching more cinema-antics, 2 women pleasuring each other in a room with 10 peope watching on, and just chilling in the bar with yet another cool couple happy to chat about their history in the swinging game.

All in all, a totally amazing night. I was blown away (no not like that, although a little bit like that :blowjob: ) by how lovely the people were that i met.
Ive put somewhere else on this site how im convinced that the freedom of spirit shown by the swinging community, and the complete absence of selfishness leads people to be so genuinely nice, and friendly - and whilst the sex antics were great just chatting with people in a way I would never dream of chatting with 'normal' friends left me with an enormous sense of well-being.

So for any newbie guys out there, I hope this helps give you a sense of my trip to a 'club', and give some reassurance should you have any reservations, and encourages you to give it a go - and good luck.
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Seems like a good place to share the story of my first (and until next Friday, only) visit to a club - from the perspective of a single guy (apologies in advance, i got to the end and realised it was quite long, so grab a coffee and make yourself comfy)

So i arrived at the club, and headed straight to the bar ;) standard ! Only a soft drink for me, as prefer to have my wits about me, and getting pissed would inevitably backfire. I then went for a wander around the club, it was still quiet, noone 'playing', a few others milling around, some sitting in the bar. There was a mix of private play rooms, glory hole rooms, an S&M room, open standing cinema area with porn playing and a large bed in the middle of the room, another room with a large bed and viewing area - sufficed to say i hadnt been in a place like this before :eek:
I was thinking a cross between 'what have i let myself in for' and 'when does the party get started' - it was quite an adrenalin rush.

I headed back to the bar, nothing particularly exciting going on, went for another wander, and so it continued for another 30 mins. What am i supposed to do I wondered - I hadnt had the benefit of searching out advice from a site like this, I hadnt had any advice at all really.

Eventually i casually saltered over to where a couple were standing talking, made eye contact and just said "hello". They were both really friendly and we got talking and unsurprisingly we got talking about swinging. I fessed up that this was my first time, and as they had been clubbing for a few years, just asked a few 'newbie' questions around how it all worked.
They talked about their experiences, clubs they had been to, how they approached swinging (sometimes together, sometimes apart), whilst I listened intently. I was initially shocked how open they were, and even more shocked how open I was in return, but soon came to realise (and this site has only confirmed this for me) that these environments are so safe to be within where you can just be yourself, with no judgement, and that as long as you behave like a decent human being, it can be an incredibly relaxing place.

Now I had no pre-conceptions where this conversation would lead, I was just proud of myself having overcome my first hurdle, and fully expected to then hunt out other people for a chat, when the lady asked if i wanted to go and play.
At that point, a little part of my brain exploded - it was almost surreal. Anyway, i quickly got over the shock and said "absolutely". This was not the lady's first visit here, so I let her lead me to one of the private rooms, which she locked behind us.
Seconds later she was literally clawing at my clothes, trying to unbutton my shirt and get my trousers off at the same time, whilst snogging and groping throughout - it was fair to say my first trip to a swingers club was going ok (y)
She wasnt in to long drawn sessions and i think we both came away from our time in the room very satisfied, as we returned to the bar, where she went back to her husband, and i grabbed another J20.

Feeling quite chuffed with myself, I went for another little wander.

By this time, a number of people had gathered in the large cinema room, and at the centre of it all, was a lady lying on the bed, with several guys ensuring she was enjoying herself.
I ended up being one of these guys, as this lady clearly liked a ton of attention.
For some reason, i must have left my inhibitions in the car, because I proceeded to have sex with this lady with around 15 onlookers.

You know sometimes when you go into something with high expectations but they always fall short - well this wasnt one of those occasions. In fact, the most embarrased I felt was when some guy came up to me in the bar a little later, patted me on the back and said "well done" for the show he had just watched lol

The rest of the evening was spent watching more cinema-antics, 2 women pleasuring each other in a room with 10 peope watching on, and just chilling in the bar with yet another cool couple happy to chat about their history in the swinging game.

All in all, a totally amazing night. I was blown away (no not like that, although a little bit like that :blowjob: ) by how lovely the people were that i met.
Ive put somewhere else on this site how im convinced that the freedom of spirit shown by the swinging community, and the complete absence of selfishness leads people to be so genuinely nice, and friendly - and whilst the sex antics were great just chatting with people in a way I would never dream of chatting with 'normal' friends left me with an enormous sense of well-being.

So for any newbie guys out there, I hope this helps give you a sense of my trip to a 'club', and give some reassurance should you have any reservations, and encourages you to give it a go - and good luck.
Brilliant thankyou for adding to this thread.. Another brilliant post. To help allay some fears of tentative first time club goers. Xx