Where Do You Get Your Confidence From?

[Tigress]

Yes but I want to know how I ask? xxjxx

I'm usually pretty direct. If there's a spark I usually just come out and say 'Would like to play?' Once you've done it a couple of times it gets easier.

I'm sure you'll find a lot of people more than happy to take you up on your offer. You're gorgeous xxx

 

[No longer with us]

Yes I think you come across as confident...you are chatty and witty xxjxx

I am probably one of the least confident people on this site
It's all an act because I can be who I want to be and walk away whenever I want
The few meets we have had only happened after lengthy chats , I need those we meet to understand my insecurities about myself and to like me for who I am on the inside and it's only then I will have confidence. I don't think you give ur self enough credit, at least you can make it to the socials , it's a step further than I have got xxx
What are u not confident about because from meeting u I saw a beautiful and extremely sexy lady !!

 

[Nigel&Julie]

I'm usually pretty direct. If there's a spark I usually just come out and say 'Would like to play?' Once you've done it a couple of times it gets easier.

I'm sure you'll find a lot of people more than happy to take you up on your offer. You're gorgeous xxx

Please don't take this the wrong way or offensive but having met you at the social and talking to you, you are young, attractive with a lovely figure, who in their right mind would refuse, but your situation is different to ours as in what you are looking for....would love to try the more direct approach but I don't have it in me. I have tried to answer this a honestly as I can so please don't take offence xxjxx

 

[Nigel&Julie]

I am probably one of the least confident people on this site
It's all an act because I can be who I want to be and walk away whenever I want
The few meets we have had only happened after lengthy chats , I need those we meet to understand my insecurities about myself and to like me for who I am on the inside and it's only then I will have confidence. I don't think you give ur self enough credit, at least you can make it to the socials , it's a step further than I have got xxx
What are u not confident about because from meeting u I saw a beautiful and extremely sexy lady !!

I can see what you are saying but going to a social and chatting to people we have chatted to on line is alot easier than going up to strangers in a club even though we are all there for the same reason I still lack the confidence to initialise contact. The meets we have had have been initalised by others after lengthy chats, there are people on here we have spoken to and would like to meet but haven't had the courage to ask them....yet xxjxx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

I would say that most folks that meet us would think we are very confident but trust me we are not. I would say people who are confident in new situations are very few and far between but loads are good at hiding the nerves.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

I have chatted to many people in chat rooms and in pm's all are polite and respectful not crossing boundaries, and that's what makes the people and site different !

Yes totally agree with you about this site, however could that also be a reason not to be direct and being seen as over stepping the mark? xxjxx

 

[No longer with us]

I can see what you are saying but going to a social and chatting to people we have chatted to on line is alot easier than going up to strangers in a club even though we are all there for the same reason I still lack the confidence to initialise contact. The meets we have had have been initalised by others after lengthy chats, there are people on here we have spoken to and would like to meet but haven't had the courage to ask them....yet xxjxx

Just bite the bullet, don't overthink it, what have u got to lose ??
If they are not interested for any reason at least u know
Only yesterday we were approached by two different couples (doesn't happen every day lol ) and I just kindly replied that we are seeing a couple regularly so not actively looking for more meets at the moment !!
They thanked us and we carried on chatting ... no harm done xx
Go for it... Your a gawgus couple xxxxx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

I would dearly like to think if someone was interested in getting to know us better would let us know in some way or another.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

I would dearly like to think if someone was interested in getting to know us better would let us know in some way or another.

May i ask if you are interested in someone do you let them know ? xxjxx

 

[Nigel&Julie]

Very good point julie but trust me once the chat moves private the "mark" will escalate at your own pace x

Agreed Stew but we were really thinking about a club situation and approaching strangers xxjxx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

May i ask if you are interested in someone do you let them know ? xxjxx

Generally I would say yes but so far we have not done on this site as we feel its far easier to sit back and keep our eye on folks we are interested to see if they are folks we would get along with. I have to admit we have more than likely sat on the fence here far too long and not messaged some people we maybe should have.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

Believe it or not I am shy too in spite of being the site gobby old bugger, and yes if I sense a level of flirting in profile posts or chat I will pluck up courage, it seems to be the right way because I have rarely had a woman contact me on any site xx

Ahh if there was a "bless him" button I would have pressed it xxjxx

 

[No longer with us]

Agreed Stew but we were really thinking about a club situation and approaching strangers xxjxx

Would that not be even easier as you don't have to ever see them again ?

 

[Nigel&Julie]

Maybe the wink button should be used more, just a thought xx

Good point we forget about the wink button xxjxx

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

Maybe the wink button should be used more, just a thought xx

Never been a lover of wink buttons myself as you can only have 3 ways of responding. Wink back, ignore, or message back. Now if you wink back is that saying yep we wanna know you better. Ignoring seems ignorant, or what do you put in the message.

 

[Admin]

I was going to make a direct and open response to @Nigel&Julie but, << and this is why I'm posting this and not that reply, can I just take a moment to say how amazing you all are and the help, support and openness from all on here is just brilliant. That's how communities work and support each other. So, kudos to you all. x

 

[MickeyBlueBalls]

Never been a lover of wink buttons myself as you can only have 3 ways of responding. Wink back, ignore, or message back. Now if you wink back is that saying yep we wanna know you better. Ignoring seems ignorant, or what do you put in the message.

I'm not really a winker but if I were to wink with no wink back I'd assume that the couple aren't interested and is far better than getting a "we think you're great but..." kinda message.

 

[No longer with us]

I don't know why I'm giving advise when I wouldn't have the confidence to make the first move in a million years

 

[BoltonBiFemCpl]

May i ask if you are interested in someone do you let them know ? xxjxx

Now this question from Nigel & Julie got a response from us earlier but now we have thought about the question it's thrown up something we never thought about till now. We have realised this site has changed how we use sites like this for the worse and for the better depending on how you look at it. The site is far more friendly and chatty than other sites but by being so we have some how slipped everyone into the position of " friends Zone" with all the regular posters and not this profile looks nice I wonder if we would all like to meet up for some sexy fun. I promise I will change this from now and will start looking at profiles and be sending some messages out and see who might like a chat about things.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

Now this question from Nigel & Julie got a response from us earlier but now we have thought about the question it's thrown up something we never thought about till now. We have realised this site has changed how we use sites like this for the worse and for the better depending on how you look at it. The site is far more friendly and chatty than other sites but by being so we have some how slipped everyone into the position of " friends Zone" with all the regular posters and not this profile looks nice I wonder if we would all like to meet up for some sexy fun. I promise I will change this from now and will start looking at profiles and be sending some messages out and see who might like a chat about things.

If nothing else has come from this thread at least it might have changed your perspective....totally agree with your comment xxjxx

 

[Nigel&Julie]

I really don't understand the winking business at all, am I meant to respond if people wink at me? Ooops, sorry

I think so lol xxjxx I always forget about it xxjxx

 

[No longer with us]

I think so lol xxjxx I always forget about it xxjxx

I only use the wink button for friends to let them know I'm thinking of them xxx

 

[Admin]

Now this question from Nigel & Julie got a response from us earlier but now we have thought about the question it's thrown up something we never thought about till now. We have realised this site has changed how we use sites like this for the worse and for the better depending on how you look at it. The site is far more friendly and chatty than other sites but by being so we have some how slipped everyone into the position of " friends Zone" with all the regular posters and not this profile looks nice I wonder if we would all like to meet up for some sexy fun. I promise I will change this from now and will start looking at profiles and be sending some messages out and see who might like a chat about things.

Interesting thoughts and perspective.. to a degree you're right.
yes get out there and move things up a gear! Good on you.

I really don't understand the winking business at all, am I meant to respond if people wink at me? Ooops, sorry

Yes the idea is basically and quite rudimentary - if you get a wink it means the person who's sent you the wink, is interested in you and has an interest/would like to meet etc x

I think so lol xxjxx I always forget about it xxjxx

What are you like

I only use the wink button for friends to let them know I'm thinking of them xxx

That's nice..
Ahhh hence all the winks you keeps sending then. Always thinking eh?

Winks are a funny thing. Some people rely on having the feature to show to others that they're interested. Whilst others just can't be bothered with the whole thing and to a degree may even find it lazy.

 

[No longer with us]

Interesting thoughts and perspective.. to a degree you're right.
yes get out there and move things up a gear! Good on you.

Yes the idea is basically and quite rudimentary - if you get a wink it means the person who's sent you the wink, is interested in you and has an interest/would like to meet etc x

What are you like


That's nice..
Ahhh hence all the winks you keeps sending then. Always thinking eh?

Winks are a funny thing. Some people rely on having the feature to show to others that they're interested. Whilst others just can't be bothered with the whole thing and to a degree may even find it lazy.

Instead of a wink button can we have a " come here, I want to bite ur bum button " ?

 

[Admin]

Instead of a wink button can we have a " come here, I want to bite ur bum button " ?

I can do that indeed!