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Where Do You Get Your Confidence From?
- Thread starter Nigel&Julie
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No longer with us
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Sammy
So glad someone else doesn't get itI really don't understand the winking business at all, am I meant to respond if people wink at me? Ooops, sorry
What's the options okay and something else ?
Would a wink back with message option button help
I've had a few winks n no idea how to respond... technophobe
When you receive a wink, you have the option to send a wink back.
The person who sent you the wink initially, will not be able to wink you again until/unless you send one back.
You have the option to PM anyway so adding something else wouldn't really serve a benefit.
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forest_pete
We too have always ignored winks as we feel if that's the sum total effort in trying to get our attention then you need to try a whole lot harder. Having said that I don't think we have ever had a wink from a couple on here so I think most feel the same way. I really do feel a nice message that we can reply to is the way forward. with reference to our earlier post re sending messages out. Not sent any yet even if we have found some very sexy folks we don't feel they would want to meet us so we will keep looking lolSo a bit like pokes on facebook but more loaded?
I think I have mainly ignored them because if memory serves me correctly they have mostly come from people I have had no other interaction with on the site. As you know I have had a few men PM me or chat to me on messenger without any other interaction on site beforehand, and it rarely goes brilliantly. I'm not going to initiate a conversation to apologise for not being interested (as has been suggested) here as I am concerned that it will invite that sort of conversation.
If it is an indication of interest then I think that them being sent by people that I have had no other interaction with is an extraordinarily lazy way to start contact... Also they don't know what I look like or anything, why would they hit on me? (that is a rhetorical question).
I think i will carry on ignoring winks from people I don't know, i'll be more polite from here on in if I do know them
Good point Stew, However I have read the profile and took my time to take in everything that they have put and also looked at the pictures and when you put all that together you either think a message would be well received or not as the case maybe. Our time is far better spent chasing people we have a reasonable chance of catching and not chasing pipe dreams don't you think. I am a great believer that we all have a level and chasing after a very good looking young woman who is clearly way above our level these days is a waste of time and potentially quite embarrassing too.
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Emmal
After reading this I kinda feel bad. I've ignored the winks I've recieved but not being ignorant with it, I just like others don't know what to respond to a wink...bit like the poke button on Facebook. Just don't get them and I'd rather have a message saying 'hi there' then be sent a wink.
So I apologise to all those who winked and I didn't respond I don't mean to offend xx
So I apologise to all those who winked and I didn't respond I don't mean to offend xx
Yes but I find the majority of people see winks as a lazy arse way of trying to contact someone.
Fact is, if I had interest in yourselves for example, I'd PM you not send a wink... but of course others do feel that sending a wink is the same as a simple hello = *waves* etc. Same as a poke on FB which is similarly what I based it on..
I wouldn't apologise though.
We did have a thread discussing winks... I'll have a look. x
There we go. It's a good vote and discussion started by @The-A-Team ;
https://socialswinging.com/threads/winks.3115/
Some interesting points of view in there. x
https://socialswinging.com/threads/winks.3115/
Some interesting points of view in there. x
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Emmal
Same here once I've got more confident I'll send messages. I just didn't want people to think I was ignorant that's all x
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Sammy
OK our view on this....
On here... we are all keyboard warriors, we can hide behind our screens and say things that may not come out in a real life meeting.
We are exactly the same, ok Mr Marms comes across as confident, but believe me, it's all a front due to the fact that you can't actually see me!
When we actually meet in the club iinvironment, it's different.... mainly because of the way the club is run... it's actually a non pressurised environment, just like a social club but a little bit sexy too.
We don't message people unless we know them, maybe we are losing out on making many friends, but Mrs Marms is shy, and very inward until you get to know her.... as has been mentioned already about the abusive site.... a message can lead to insults and nasty comments back.
Here its different, but we are still very cautious, probably frightened of the knock backs.... but we are unique and not for everyone's liking.... that damn marmite affect!
Well from reading this thread
It would appear so many of us have same concerns ...one of biggest is knock back n rejection.
But I would agree that's it's different strokes for different folks
In relation to profiles I agree to a point with Bolton that you can gauge by profile although
Some of us are pretty rubbish at writing then and probably have missed loads out
I don't have a problem with anyone say hi and asking
Now that ironic because I at moment I don't know if I could
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Deleted member 3175
I must admit I have the same issue! I'm confident ish in RL but wouldn't have a clue where to start asking what I would like!
Put me in a room full of people and I can talk to anyone, but when it comes to saying what I would like from a potential swap, think I would be tongue tied and rather shy! Xxxx
@Nigel&Julie an excellent thread that has really got everyone talking.
We are in the same predicament I think, having been to the VA twice and seeing everyone all having fun. It would almost seem as if they already have their playmates lined up and that we are just gate crashers!
I think the next time we go we will need to make it our mission to be a little more forward I think. I can chat til the cows come home but asking anything more I depth is difficult. I'm not sure if it's the fear of rejection or just me being down right embarrassed.
I have my reasons for being apprehensive in that I have scarring that I'm insecure about. I can get naked and go in the hot tub but the thought of someone starring at my bits just has me all in a panic!
But I'm sure with each and every time we go the confidence will grow and it will become easier xx
We are in the same predicament I think, having been to the VA twice and seeing everyone all having fun. It would almost seem as if they already have their playmates lined up and that we are just gate crashers!
I think the next time we go we will need to make it our mission to be a little more forward I think. I can chat til the cows come home but asking anything more I depth is difficult. I'm not sure if it's the fear of rejection or just me being down right embarrassed.
I have my reasons for being apprehensive in that I have scarring that I'm insecure about. I can get naked and go in the hot tub but the thought of someone starring at my bits just has me all in a panic!
But I'm sure with each and every time we go the confidence will grow and it will become easier xx
Yes I did see that, shall I edit it for you?Haha, wrote about someone being funny twice there...need to read through what i post before posting...important as funny is, it didn't need that level of emphasis
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Deleted member 1030
Blimey! I wouldn't post half of mine, if I stuck to that rule!
Oh, I'm alright there. I usually can
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No longer with us
Ur not on ur own sweetie ... there is a serious lack of confidence out there xxx
Yes this thread has sent a very clear message in honesty.... So many people are in the same boat and feel the same.
xBest way is to grab the bull by the horns and get chatting to everyone.
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No longer with us
It's made me feel a bit more normalYes this thread has sent a very clear message in honesty.... So many people are in the same boat and feel the same.
Best way is to grab the bull by the horns and get chatting to everyone.
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Deleted member 3175
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Deleted member 1030
I'm not too sure if that follows, though. One of the reasons I enjoy swinging is because, sometimes, I get to have sex with my friends.You know what has become very clear, and someone touched on it earlier, everyone is way too "in the comfort zone" on here, we've ceased to see each other as potential swingers, and treat each other as more as friends (which we are )
When was the last time you checked a friends profile ?
When was the last time you updated yours ?
Is everything still accurate, have your needs, wants and desires changed?
How many people bother to put up a nice or flirty status message, but are happy to comment on others !
Come on folks, spring clean yourselves, if you've got it flaunt it !