While I kind of agree, I also disagree a little with this. It's almost as if swingles are used and abused as toys.
Although that's probably how it is for a lot of people?
I am sure you know what I mean even though I know you don't quite mean it like that..
There was a time when I would not meet couples purely for this reason; it was about THEIR fantasy and I was just a bit part player (I hear it is worse for single femmes) but then there is paradox. If you are a swingle and desire no more, it can be difficult finding other swingles that do not form some kind of attachment (I think we have all seen the lamp post pissing in statuses of other sites), terms like fuck-buddies and fwb worry me, because they require an input or commitment and in the long-term lead to some kind of "ownership". Meeting couples has caused me less stress, although there have been times when I have "over-performed" which has led to muffled arguments later in the evening, in general, I know where I stand with couples. Yes there is the "performing seal" element, but we all have our reasons for being somewhere and I wouldn't take anything further if I felt that I wasn't getting my fantasy too.
So yes travelling great distances is fraught with uncertainty but in that is a beauty, because that uncertainty, when managed, gives back some of the spontaneity and excitement that occurs from less organised gatherings xx