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So How Far Is Too Far

Discussion in 'All About Swinging' started by BoltonBiFemCpl, 21 July 2017.

  1. Ambrosial

    Ambrosial PV Sprtr

    There was a time when I would not meet couples purely for this reason; it was about THEIR fantasy and I was just a bit part player (I hear it is worse for single femmes) but then there is paradox. If you are a swingle and desire no more, it can be difficult finding other swingles that do not form some kind of attachment (I think we have all seen the lamp post pissing in statuses of other sites), terms like fuck-buddies and fwb worry me, because they require an input or commitment and in the long-term lead to some kind of "ownership". Meeting couples has caused me less stress, although there have been times when I have "over-performed" which has led to muffled arguments later in the evening, in general, I know where I stand with couples. Yes there is the "performing seal" element, but we all have our reasons for being somewhere and I wouldn't take anything further if I felt that I wasn't getting my fantasy too.

    So yes travelling great distances is fraught with uncertainty but in that is a beauty, because that uncertainty, when managed, gives back some of the spontaneity and excitement that occurs from less organised gatherings xx
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Agreed and this irks me something terrible. I find it highly irritating to read/know that swingles are simply used to fulfil the couples' fantasies.
    Whether it's for him - to satisfy his wish of a 3sum with an MFF situation, her to do the same.. or even to try and repair a broken marriage/relationship etc. Which is of course another debate..
    But still, I don't (personally) like how some of this is handled. Let's face it - it's all too commonplace sadly too.
    See, performing seal element. I can't stand it. Even though it's prevalent/rife.
    Absolutely completely agreed. (y)
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Ambrosial

    Ambrosial PV Sprtr

    All this being said, fundamentally it is easier for singles, with arranging and choosing, we enter situations which we understand, knowingly and at any point we can walk away, without consulting anyone. I have walked out of obviously challenging situations, where for example, I have found a husband crying... believe me, it is difficult. Sometimes I have ended up counselling people re: the nature of their relationship and in ALL cases I have only one piece of advice "be together in all that you do", because only when a couple are truly together, can they let a single in.

    off to post a knob shot (it's been a while....)
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
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  4. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    People easily forget just how difficult it is, having a swingle in within your relationship or marriage. it's not always easy and we've recently had to explain this to someone just that! It's not easy and people have to understand that it takes a lot of trust and commitment to allow this to happen as there is everything at stake.
    :rofl: you just want more ratings and likes aimed at - Philip is it? :D
    have fun!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Distance hmmm.
    Communication.
    Bounderies discussed beforehand.. we open our home up.
    It is made clear if nothing happens.. because any of us chooses this..
    A bloody good day night is had anyway..
    We have a spare bed.. which they are welcome to use..
    Just because theres no spark there sexually.. doesnt mean theres no spark there socially..
    So sometimes the travel is worth a really good night.
    I guess its dependant on expectations.
    X
     
    • Like Like x 4
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