You had to ask didn't you? Well let me introduce you to the new vibrating Dildo penWhere do I put me pen
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Room 101
- Thread starter Lips_Pearls
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MOTM
I'm not putting that in my doodah thankyou very muchYou had to ask didn't you? Well let me introduce you to the new vibrating Dildo pen
View attachment 59277
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I has style mun 
But can you just imagine the looks of horror when somebody asks "Can you lend me a pen?" and you go for a rummage.I'm not putting that in my doodah thankyou very much
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MOTM
OmgBut can you just imagine the looks of horror when somebody asks "Can you lend me a pen?" and you go for a rummage.
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Deleted member 1030
I'd like to put people who hijack threads into Room 101 
OK, first up....
etc. so that's definitely going into Room 101
Now, young Balders....
Balders, Balders, Balders.........
When will you learn that women do these things to remain the mysterious and enigmatic creatures that we know and love. More to the point, they've got a bloody answer for everything - one which always turns the focus onto what weak, pathetic specimens us men are
Why have they got handbags? Because a man once asked a woman if she would put his keys in her bag. It's certainly not because they feel the need to carry half the house around with them (including three tonne of paper hankies. So, so many hankies!). Also, those receptacles have to have a designer's name on them, because... well, y'know, £300+ for something in which to carry your keys around is normal, isn't it?
If I put women's handbags into Room 101, I'd have to carry my own keys - and that would totally ruin the line of my suit, so...
OK, first up....
I must admit, I've never seen people parking in electric car spaces. At all. Ever. I mean no-one, not even electric car owners! I know they're out there, I've seen the cars, but never seen anyone charging one. Saying that, I get annoyed at anyone parking anywhere they're not supposed to; charging points, mother and baby spaces, disabled parking bays, outside the front of my houseYou've got me started now. ...This is today's challenge ....
People who park in electric car spaces because they can't be bothered to walk across the road to give blood at my place of work. It's a good job they are not donating brain cells as they clearly do not have any to spare. Not only that, when you've been an idiot what you do next is truly unexpected....You've been parked in by me now because there is nowhere else to park and after all that was my space. However I'm not mean and tell the blood donation service that this is what I have done and if they let me know when they're ready to leave I will move my car. What do they do? They sit in their car hoping that the haze in my crystal ball will clear so that I know they are waiting.... they are truly not right in the head. The other driver wouldn't even own up to having parked there but I saw him and he saw me but he absolutely refused to make eye contact
etc. so that's definitely going into Room 101 Now, young Balders....
*rubs bridge of nose with finger and thumb*Let's see how controversial this is. I have an argument both for and against this:
Handbags (Portable Hand Skips)
Now a handbag once gave me the hope of a threesome with a gorgeous stripper. One drunken evening (how a good tale always starts), an ex and I stumbled into a strip club, ordered a drink, realised our mistake but sat down anyway at the side of the stage.
A stripper came from the side door and asked us to watch her handbag while she stripped on stage. When she returned (after her act) in the nuddy she sat with us and had a few drinks. Now all of a sudden I had hope, and hope is all it ended up being but still I had hope of taking this stripper home and having a fabulous threesome.
Now on the flip side, handbags have given me so much day to day grief, from having to hold the other halfs handbag on a stumble home, or get stuck holding the damn thing in shops while she tries on outfits, or being stood queuing in a shop while the old dear in front empties the entire contents of the portable skip looking for the elusive 7 pence she swears was in there yesterday.
Ladies have you ever heard of the invention of pockets?
And don't justify the handbag as being somewhere to hold your purse when you're wearing a dress....... because all men know that if there is an occasion to wear the said dress, we're going to be the ones paying for the evening and that that purse is never going to make an appearance throughout the night.
Too much?
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Balders, Balders, Balders.........
When will you learn that women do these things to remain the mysterious and enigmatic creatures that we know and love. More to the point, they've got a bloody answer for everything - one which always turns the focus onto what weak, pathetic specimens us men are
Why have they got handbags? Because a man once asked a woman if she would put his keys in her bag. It's certainly not because they feel the need to carry half the house around with them (including three tonne of paper hankies. So, so many hankies!). Also, those receptacles have to have a designer's name on them, because... well, y'know, £300+ for something in which to carry your keys around is normal, isn't it? If I put women's handbags into Room 101, I'd have to carry my own keys - and that would totally ruin the line of my suit, so...
Hahaha So funny and soooo true*rubs bridge of nose with finger and thumb*
Balders, Balders, Balders.........
When will you learn that women do these things to remain the mysterious and enigmatic creatures that we know and love. More to the point, they've got a bloody answer for everything - one which always turns the focus onto what weak, pathetic specimens us men are
If I put women's handbags into Room 101, I'd have to carry my own keys - and that would totally ruin the line of my suit, so...
:grin:Fair play to you.
I'd like to put people who hijack threads into Room 101
OK, first up....
I must admit, I've never seen people parking in electric car spaces. At all. Ever. I mean no-one, not even electric car owners! I know they're out there, I've seen the cars, but never seen anyone charging one. Saying that, I get annoyed at anyone parking anywhere they're not supposed to; charging points, mother and baby spaces, disabled parking bays, outside the front of my house
View attachment 59278
Now, young Balders....
*rubs bridge of nose with finger and thumb*
Balders, Balders, Balders.........
When will you learn that women do these things to remain the mysterious and enigmatic creatures that we know and love. More to the point, they've got a bloody answer for everything - one which always turns the focus onto what weak, pathetic specimens us men are
If I put women's handbags into Room 101, I'd have to carry my own keys - and that would totally ruin the line of my suit, so...
View attachment 59281
I had a feeling it might get denied access. Brilliantly funny post X
I'd like to put people who hijack threads into Room 101
OK, first up....
I must admit, I've never seen people parking in electric car spaces. At all. Ever. I mean no-one, not even electric car owners! I know they're out there, I've seen the cars, but never seen anyone charging one. Saying that, I get annoyed at anyone parking anywhere they're not supposed to; charging points, mother and baby spaces, disabled parking bays, outside the front of my house
View attachment 59278
Now, young Balders....
*rubs bridge of nose with finger and thumb*
Balders, Balders, Balders.........
When will you learn that women do these things to remain the mysterious and enigmatic creatures that we know and love. More to the point, they've got a bloody answer for everything - one which always turns the focus onto what weak, pathetic specimens us men are
If I put women's handbags into Room 101, I'd have to carry my own keys - and that would totally ruin the line of my suit, so...
View attachment 59281
Ever been battered by a handbag??? Those feckers hurt you know.......Gives you a whole new perspective
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MOTM
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Deleted member 1030
Yes. Several times.Ever been battered by a handbag??? Those feckers hurt you know.......Gives you a whole new perspective
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That's why I'm too scared to put them in the Room
Ya better take bloody good care of it to
Oooer missisI daren't not. I've seen the cross....... And all the hotels are closed
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Yeah neither of us can stand that. Ugh. X
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Deleted member 1030
Hmmm, seems a perfectly normal thing to do. After all, people get rid of other bodily fluids in public all the time, don't they? Not a day goes by where I don't see a fella unzip, get the old boy out, piss on the pavement and say "get out and walk, yer bastard" or a young lady casually squirts love juice out of a car window, caring not a jot for wind direction or passers-by.
Oh wait. That doesn't happen, does it?
Why, then, do people think that public - and, quite often, loudly announced - expectoration is acceptable? It can carry all sorts of diseases, such as TB and MRSA.
Ych y fi. Into Room 101 it goes
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People who fill up at a petrol station and then go do their weekly shop before paying at the kiosk.
15 bloody minutes I was waiting this morning. If you've got that much stuff to buy go to the fecking supermarkets, and why do petrol stations even sell more than petrol, papers, fags, drinks and snacks. Throw the lot into Room 101 please
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15 bloody minutes I was waiting this morning. If you've got that much stuff to buy go to the fecking supermarkets, and why do petrol stations even sell more than petrol, papers, fags, drinks and snacks. Throw the lot into Room 101 please
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Deleted member 1030
That's my wife you're talking aboutPeople who fill up at a petrol station and then go do their weekly shop before paying at the kiosk.
15 bloody minutes I was waiting this morning. If you've got that much stuff to buy go to the fecking supermarkets, and why do petrol stations even sell more than petrol, papers, fags, drinks and snacks. Throw the lot into Room 101 please
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You're right though - if I go to the petrol station I expect to be able to buy petrol, fags, last-minute anniversary flowers and er, barbecue coals Not only do they sell half the stock of Fortnum & Mason's, but the weird specials that they do as well - I can see why they offer bluetooth headsets, for example but a cinema-style lightbox? Seriously, WTAF?
The problem is if I put this into Room 101, it would involve putting Lisa in too. That means, for me, there'd be no more sitting in the car, thinking "where the feck is she? She's been in there 20 minutes and she's taken the keys with her, leaving the wind and stench of petrol blowing in through her open window and no bloody radio to listen to while I wait!"
I think I've just convinced myself
- into the Room it goes!
That's my wife you're talking about
Not only do they sell half the stock of Fortnum & Mason's, but the weird specials that they do as well - I can see why they offer bluetooth headsets, for example but a cinema-style lightbox? Seriously, WTAF?
The problem is if I put this into Room 101, it would involve putting Lisa in too. That means, for me, there'd be no more sitting in the car, thinking "where the feck is she? She's been in there 20 minutes and she's taken the keys with her, leaving the wind and stench of petrol blowing in through her open window and no bloody radio to listen to while I wait!"
I think I've just convinced myself
View attachment 59389
You know in America where someone comes to you, fills up your car, takes your money and you drive away?
I would happily pay a small premium to get that service...... *starts dreaming if a new business venture*....... If I charge £1 per customer by the end of the week I could be a millionaire
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Deleted member 1030
I'm guessing you haven't done a productivity study (0.6 seconds per customer, working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in case you're interested )
I may have rounded up a pound here or there for Mathmatical ease
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Deleted member 1030
I may have rounded up a pound here or there for Mathmatical ease
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I'd give yourself a fortnight, just to be on the safe side
OK, here are two that drive me nuts (and be fair, it’s a short drive); I suspect the reason for both is I’m a snob about language, and because I’m a writer:
1/ People who always confuse “I don’t like it” with “it is bad”. Sometimes, sure, something is both. But in the main, someone ‘not liking something’ just means it’s not to their taste, not that ‘it’ - whatever ‘it’ is - is objectively ‘bad’.
2/ People who conflate “not liking” something with “actively disliking” it. There’s lots of things I don’t like, as in I don’t overtly enjoy watching or doing; there’s also stuff I actively dislike, that I would prefer did not exist. (To use an example elsewhere in the site: I don’t like, don’t enjoy, tv soap operas, whereas I actively dislike, loathe in fact, so-called ‘reality tv’.)
None of which means that you shouldn’t stick anything into Room 101; anything can go in, if you dislike it, if you don’t like it, if it’s a bad habit, just for shits and giggles.
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(This list originally had six items in it but I cut the final four before hitting ‘post reply’ because even to me, they were esoteric and purely me screaming into the void: ‘WHY do people use the wrong words?!?!? WHY?!?!?!’)
1/ People who always confuse “I don’t like it” with “it is bad”. Sometimes, sure, something is both. But in the main, someone ‘not liking something’ just means it’s not to their taste, not that ‘it’ - whatever ‘it’ is - is objectively ‘bad’.
2/ People who conflate “not liking” something with “actively disliking” it. There’s lots of things I don’t like, as in I don’t overtly enjoy watching or doing; there’s also stuff I actively dislike, that I would prefer did not exist. (To use an example elsewhere in the site: I don’t like, don’t enjoy, tv soap operas, whereas I actively dislike, loathe in fact, so-called ‘reality tv’.)
None of which means that you shouldn’t stick anything into Room 101; anything can go in, if you dislike it, if you don’t like it, if it’s a bad habit, just for shits and giggles.
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(This list originally had six items in it but I cut the final four before hitting ‘post reply’ because even to me, they were esoteric and purely me screaming into the void: ‘WHY do people use the wrong words?!?!? WHY?!?!?!’)