Having read much of this , it seems to me it comes back to the old argument if your single are you swinging ? On many occasions on here it’s been stated that your not it’s more a one night stand the whole dating issue is directed at singles here because it’s irrelevant to couples ...
People have been talking about distance unless you have a bottomless pit of time and money distance is an issue , I work my fair share of weekends being self employed I don’t get paid holidays to take so planning plays a big part I just can’t drop everything and drive half way across the country...others here have more problems than I do especially those with kids or pets ...
this is probably moving away from the original point of this thread....
While we are off topic going to clubs as a single can be quite daunting.... may be it’s just me !
I have been to clubs 4 times now and only once felt totally comfortable with everything.... couples going to clubs have each other to bounce off or attract potential play the point being having a partner ,friend to go with should make things easier not always I know .... clubs can sometimes be the loneliest places in the world if you feel isolated....happened to me on three occasions now ... due to various reasons..
Obviously I only see a small part but I don’t recall lots of people suddenly announcing we’re a couple and dating ...maybe you need a section specifically for potential dates to meet and mingle ...
the other thing we have couples saying I had no offers for this that or the other but isn’t it a two way street ... should it always be the single doing the chasing....
it’s early I am sitting in a dark carpark thinking random bullshit ...
You're talking a lot of sense.
I must admit, being a single guy, I sometimes struggle with the concept of calling myself a swinger. Not because I don't feel that I am a swinger but more I worry about swinging couples perception of me calling myself such. I like to think that what separates me as a swinger versus merely being a single guy looking for a one night stand is my understanding and appreciation of the swinging ethos.
Regarding your point about distance being an issue for some people. Of course it is. I know this from my recent experience. I have been without a car for some time now whilst I'm waiting for my financial situation to be resolved. It has drastically affected my ability to socially engage with anyone. My point was that if all other things being equal, ie: Money no object, time being available and transport being no issue I would be happy to make the effort to travel anywhere to have a good time.
Clubs. I totally get where you're coming from. I've yet to attend one but I'm planning to within the next month or so. Attending one alone as a single male is daunting. You're right in that it could be easy for a lone man to feel out of place and feel he's being looked at with suspicion. We've all read the advice to socialise, to chat with people and make yourself known. But WE know it's not always as easy as that, which can leave you feeling isolated and miserable. And as you said you can be surrounded by people having a great time but feel very alone. To try to negate my concerns I've contacted people who I have never met but are regulars at the club I'm intending to visit and asked if I could meet them there even if just to say hello to when I first arrive. It's a shame you live so far away from me otherwise we could have visited a club together.
And finally. Your point about couples bemoaning the fact they are not contacted by single guys but very rarely instigate the contact is a good one and not something that had occurred to me.
