Bdsm and consent: how to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse

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What an interesting article I've found;


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When allegations of assault were made against New York's top prosecutor Eric Schneiderman this week, he denied them, saying engaging in non-consensual sex was a line he would not cross.

"In the privacy of intimate relationships, I have engaged in role-playing and other consensual sexual activity. I have not assaulted anyone," he told The New Yorker magazine, which broke the story.

Four women say he repeatedly slapped them and one said he insisted she call him "master" in non-consensual situations.

One former girlfriend, Michelle Manning Barish, said: "This was under no circumstances a sex game gone wrong... I did not consent to physical assault." New York prosecutors are investigating the allegations.

This is not the first time a man accused of assault has claimed he was consensually engaging in rough sex (in Mr Schneiderman's case, he was in a sexual relationship with three of his four accusers; a fourth woman said he hit her after she rebuffed him).


BDSM vocabulary
  • Kink - a broad term that usually encompasses sexual acts considered outside the norm
  • BDSM - this acronym is described as a pre-agreed power exchange, sometimes not explicitly sexual
  • Dominant and submissive - the names for the roles individuals enact during BDSM practice
  • Play and scene - BDSM participants describe themselves as playing in a scene
  • Munch - a casual social meet-up for people involved in or interested in BDSM
  • Vanilla - refers to someone, or sex, that is not kinky
  • Safe words - words or a gesture pre-agreed with your partner to alert them to your physical limits
  • Aftercare - argued to be just as important as the scene, this is personal to the individual but may involve blankets, cuddles, conversation and a cup of tea to ease participants back to normality


Source and to read more;
How to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse
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Lips_Pearls
Lips & Pearls. Just ordinary people, in a fun and entertaining lifestyle choice of Swinging.

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