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Deleted member 1030
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Deleted member 3411
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Deleted member 1030
Excellent, glad you enjoyed - and showed yourselves to be contenders
Look forward to seeing you next week 
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Deleted member 1030
Good men of the rebel forces had fallen. @Admin had been the latest, brought down by an error of calculation. QM touched the trusty Bonus Blaster at his side. It was all he had left now..... well, that and a monkey in a gold lamé bikini, the result of a transporter pod SNAFU. How could they hope to defeat the evil Kwizza empire under these circumstances? It was that time of the evening when the twin suns of planet ANSSCRQ started to set and the Kwizza troopers began to gather for their attack. QM could hear their chilling battle cry "YOU SHOULD DO A ROUND ABOUT.......!" and he wondered if he'd ever see 9.30 again.
A new Kwizza, @Corfu_Connie_john came first with a blistering attack that seemed to fizzle out quickly, due to a general confusion as to what the hell was going on. Another new trooper, @Horny_Essex_Pair with their answer-cannons blazing, looked deadly, despite pretending to be dumb. It didn't make any sense until QM saw that they were in tandem with the devilish @debE droid, an innocent-looking but very dangerous siren. The onslaught continued with @Vanezza and @Baldricknkaz firing mistimed answers and outrageous guesses. The monkey began firing bananas and screaming insults at the Balderbot 3000.
"we can't let the Kwizzas win," thought QM, "half of them think ivory is a wood!"
The lead Kwizza @Nigel&Julie hovered into view. This was the moment he had dreaded. Could he defeat the double-headed Kwizza supreme? As he resolved to make his last stand, something moved in the undergrowth, right under his nose. It was the Kwizza black ops, @Biofilm who quietly got on with the job with a steely determination.
"Quick! Use the Bonus Blaster!" shouted the monkey ("Hmmm," thought QM, "that monkey looks damned good in a bikini. Maybe when all this is over.......").
Booom! The bonus question dropped. The Kwizzas went into meltdown.... "18th century poets!" they cried. "American football teams!" "Episodes of Prisoner: Cell Block H!" came the confused buzzing as the frustration set in. "Kill him with fire!" they called, but it was too late....... the minute was up. QM laughed and opened his chest panel to reveal a monitor that read;
"You were lucky they didn't bleedin' lynch you," said the monkey in a Cockney accent.
A new Kwizza, @Corfu_Connie_john came first with a blistering attack that seemed to fizzle out quickly, due to a general confusion as to what the hell was going on. Another new trooper, @Horny_Essex_Pair with their answer-cannons blazing, looked deadly, despite pretending to be dumb. It didn't make any sense until QM saw that they were in tandem with the devilish @debE droid, an innocent-looking but very dangerous siren. The onslaught continued with @Vanezza and @Baldricknkaz firing mistimed answers and outrageous guesses. The monkey began firing bananas and screaming insults at the Balderbot 3000.
"we can't let the Kwizzas win," thought QM, "half of them think ivory is a wood!"
The lead Kwizza @Nigel&Julie hovered into view. This was the moment he had dreaded. Could he defeat the double-headed Kwizza supreme? As he resolved to make his last stand, something moved in the undergrowth, right under his nose. It was the Kwizza black ops, @Biofilm who quietly got on with the job with a steely determination.
"Quick! Use the Bonus Blaster!" shouted the monkey ("Hmmm," thought QM, "that monkey looks damned good in a bikini. Maybe when all this is over.......").
Booom! The bonus question dropped. The Kwizzas went into meltdown.... "18th century poets!" they cried. "American football teams!" "Episodes of Prisoner: Cell Block H!" came the confused buzzing as the frustration set in. "Kill him with fire!" they called, but it was too late....... the minute was up. QM laughed and opened his chest panel to reveal a monitor that read;
"You were lucky they didn't bleedin' lynch you," said the monkey in a Cockney accent.
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Deleted member 6485
Aww...once again, a superbly written quiz write up. But innocent looking dangerous siten??
....(spot on)
xx
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Deleted member 1030
Ah, you know what a smooth-talker I amAww...once again, a superbly written quiz write up. But innocent looking dangerous siten??
Chemical symbols?!! I think you enjoy confuddling us too much QM :spank:
Thank you so much, brilliant quiz, fabulous write up and the first time I have smiled in 24 hours
N xxx
Looks like I missed a good one (apologies, I was indisposed), well done @Biofilm
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Deleted member 8095
Fantastic quiz, if this is the measure of what's to come, we're looking forward to being part of it, thank you QM and everyone else x
Epic write up. You Sir are actually either a bit of a genius or you have far too much time on your hands
. mocking the Kwizzas. Think of the poor elephants with two trees on either side of their face 
. It's alot of pressure on quiz night you know 
. Did you by chance end up sleeping on the couch last night?B x
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Deleted member 1030
I read her the write up. She stared at me blankly for a few minutes, then sniffed, "I suppose other people will find it funny!"
Then she flung her poo at me and went to swing on her tyre
hi all, and many thanks for the quiz night.. will need to sharpen our response time..
Then she flung her poo at me and went to swing on her tyre
OMG I nearly choked on my sarnie when I read that. I'd be sleeping with one eye open tonight......close to an exit......with your running shoes on.....and the emergency services predialled into your phone if I were you 
B x
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Deleted member 1030
**Dodgy heavy metal riff**
The bloke who used to do the footy on Channel 5: Welcome to Quizbot Wars, where brilliant amateurs set their fighting quizzing machines against each other in the arena - where they will encounter thrilling hazards, maths questions and the deadly house quizzers, @meandlis and @Admin **crowd cheers**
Current laddish-yet-geeky TV presenter: What a battle we've got for you tonight! Some of the best quiz teams from the current series go head-to-head to win the crown of Quizbot Wars!
Didn't she used to do the superbikes or something?: ...and I'll be down here in the pits to see what the teams are doing to turn their bits of knowledge in the ultimate quizzing machine!
**more heavy metal music. Scenes of geeks tinkering with Wikipedia, filling brown envelopes with jelly babies etc.**
TBWUTDTFOC5: Let battle commence!
**klaxon sounds, strobes flash, more metal riffage**
First up we have @TherLegs veterans of the arena, who seem to be zooming around looking for a fight - and they've found one with @Corfu_Connie_john whose team keep mentioning the age of the model, claiming the joints aren't what they used to be! And here comes @Baldricknkaz and they've driven straight into the CPZ, whatever the holy fuck that is, and into the clutches of the house robot @Admin who repels the you-got-my-points-wrong attack of the BalderTron! Oh dear! I think he's got the 60s mixed up with the 80s there!!
Wait! What's this? A latecomer into the arena! It's @Ahabs making a late dash for glory! And he's driven straight into the flame pit!!
Here comes the quizbot with the two lovely rear-ends, @Vanezza who are putting up a brave, but ultimately futile, fight! And once again, @debE has locked herself in with another robot, this time it's @Biofilm with his stormtrooper-style armour plating!!
**Sirens sound**
Here comes The Quizmaster!! With his 400 lb hammer nicknamed The Bonus!!! He smashes it into the side of @Nigel&Julie whose team is at half-strength tonight!! But the bonus is batted away like it wasn't even hard!!!! The Julinator wins!!!!!
CL-Y-GTVP: So lets take a look at the league table......
The bloke who used to do the footy on Channel 5: Welcome to Quizbot Wars, where brilliant amateurs set their fighting quizzing machines against each other in the arena - where they will encounter thrilling hazards, maths questions and the deadly house quizzers, @meandlis and @Admin **crowd cheers**
Current laddish-yet-geeky TV presenter: What a battle we've got for you tonight! Some of the best quiz teams from the current series go head-to-head to win the crown of Quizbot Wars!
Didn't she used to do the superbikes or something?: ...and I'll be down here in the pits to see what the teams are doing to turn their bits of knowledge in the ultimate quizzing machine!
**more heavy metal music. Scenes of geeks tinkering with Wikipedia, filling brown envelopes with jelly babies etc.**
TBWUTDTFOC5: Let battle commence!
**klaxon sounds, strobes flash, more metal riffage**
First up we have @TherLegs veterans of the arena, who seem to be zooming around looking for a fight - and they've found one with @Corfu_Connie_john whose team keep mentioning the age of the model, claiming the joints aren't what they used to be! And here comes @Baldricknkaz and they've driven straight into the CPZ, whatever the holy fuck that is, and into the clutches of the house robot @Admin who repels the you-got-my-points-wrong attack of the BalderTron! Oh dear! I think he's got the 60s mixed up with the 80s there!!
Wait! What's this? A latecomer into the arena! It's @Ahabs making a late dash for glory! And he's driven straight into the flame pit!!
Here comes the quizbot with the two lovely rear-ends, @Vanezza who are putting up a brave, but ultimately futile, fight! And once again, @debE has locked herself in with another robot, this time it's @Biofilm with his stormtrooper-style armour plating!!
**Sirens sound**
Here comes The Quizmaster!! With his 400 lb hammer nicknamed The Bonus!!! He smashes it into the side of @Nigel&Julie whose team is at half-strength tonight!! But the bonus is batted away like it wasn't even hard!!!! The Julinator wins!!!!!
CL-Y-GTVP: So lets take a look at the league table......
You beautiful mad man
Right we only need to pick up 8 extra right answers every week as we can never work out the link, bugger we are DOOMED!!!
Awesome as always and you do spend your time on us all, thank you so much
V&N xxx
Right we only need to pick up 8 extra right answers every week as we can never work out the link, bugger we are DOOMED!!!
Awesome as always and you do spend your time on us all, thank you so much
V&N xxx
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Deleted member 1030
The dark towers of Quiznor loomed as the Quiz Master stepped from the boat. His man-at-arms, @Admin , stared blackly at the sheer walls of ignorance before them. "It looks like whoever built this place didn't know an awl from an auger," he muttered.
"Let us begin," resolved the QM, "this battle must be won before the day is out!"
"Well, it's quarter-past eight already!" said Admin. At that very moment, one of the enemy quizzers stuck their head above the parapet.
"Look, can you give us five minutes? I forgot to have a wee, sorry!"
"Oh, go on then!" QM and Admin looked at each other, the sky, the ground, their fingernails, each other again. "Did you see th...."
"OK, we're ready now!"
"At last," muttered QM, then screamed "CHARGE!!!!!"
Admin and QM ran into the castle. They came to a dark corridor, with piped music playing in the background. It was Wham!, which could only mean their first adversary was @Pearls who put up a fierce fight, but suddenly left without warning. They weren't expecting a new tactic from their next attacker, but @debE was not tied to someone else for a change and this almost threw our brave heroes. The challenges came thick and fast now, with a two-pronged attack from @Horny_Essex_Pair and @Baldricknkaz raining blows down on them and @Corfu_Connie_john came rushing at them, almost hidden from view. They then had to face a new foe, a masked berserker from the eastern middle-lands, known only as @Antogs The Quite Pervy.
Knowing that they still had their strongest challengers yet to face, QM drew his Sword of Bonus. It gleamed in the torchlight. (He had been gifted the sword by an old man in a marketplace who had told him, "It is a sword of deceit - flash it one way and it looks like a Simpsons question, flash it another and it will seem like it's something to do with chocolate bars. None shall guess its true nature! Hahahahahahahaha!!" and vanished in a puff of smoke. He was probably a vape user.)
@Nigel&Julie came at them with their usual ferociousness but were beaten back for once, while @Vanezza managed to steal the crown but were pole-axed by the Sword of Bonus.
QM and Admin surveyed the carnage, brave quizzers who had died with their quiz on and would go to Quizhalla to get questions wrong with the gods. They made to leave when, suddenly, a hand grabbed QM's ankle - Julie was down but not out! "Curse you, QM, the man in the marketplace was none other than Nigel" she croaked, "The bonus is Months!"
The Sword of Bonus shattered into a thousand pieces.
As they walked away from the castle, Admin stopped to read a warning that was posted on the gate. It simply read;
"Let us begin," resolved the QM, "this battle must be won before the day is out!"
"Well, it's quarter-past eight already!" said Admin. At that very moment, one of the enemy quizzers stuck their head above the parapet.
"Look, can you give us five minutes? I forgot to have a wee, sorry!"
"Oh, go on then!" QM and Admin looked at each other, the sky, the ground, their fingernails, each other again. "Did you see th...."
"OK, we're ready now!"
"At last," muttered QM, then screamed "CHARGE!!!!!"
Admin and QM ran into the castle. They came to a dark corridor, with piped music playing in the background. It was Wham!, which could only mean their first adversary was @Pearls who put up a fierce fight, but suddenly left without warning. They weren't expecting a new tactic from their next attacker, but @debE was not tied to someone else for a change and this almost threw our brave heroes. The challenges came thick and fast now, with a two-pronged attack from @Horny_Essex_Pair and @Baldricknkaz raining blows down on them and @Corfu_Connie_john came rushing at them, almost hidden from view. They then had to face a new foe, a masked berserker from the eastern middle-lands, known only as @Antogs The Quite Pervy.
Knowing that they still had their strongest challengers yet to face, QM drew his Sword of Bonus. It gleamed in the torchlight. (He had been gifted the sword by an old man in a marketplace who had told him, "It is a sword of deceit - flash it one way and it looks like a Simpsons question, flash it another and it will seem like it's something to do with chocolate bars. None shall guess its true nature! Hahahahahahahaha!!" and vanished in a puff of smoke. He was probably a vape user.)
@Nigel&Julie came at them with their usual ferociousness but were beaten back for once, while @Vanezza managed to steal the crown but were pole-axed by the Sword of Bonus.
QM and Admin surveyed the carnage, brave quizzers who had died with their quiz on and would go to Quizhalla to get questions wrong with the gods. They made to leave when, suddenly, a hand grabbed QM's ankle - Julie was down but not out! "Curse you, QM, the man in the marketplace was none other than Nigel" she croaked, "The bonus is Months!"
The Sword of Bonus shattered into a thousand pieces.
As they walked away from the castle, Admin stopped to read a warning that was posted on the gate. It simply read;
Oh my God...
Like something out of Dungeons and Dragons.
Epic...
From an awl to an auger, Sword of Bonus and lo and behold the - vape user
Pure, pure brilliance. Bravo!