The way/way not to introduce yourself in a message

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The-A-Team

The-A-Team

27 April 2015
1,998
7,726
We have always understood a wink on other sites and this site too shows a more than informal interest, however, we much prefer the openness of being able to chat freely and get to know a person, Its so much more reassuring to be able to do that here !! and yes we know the etiquette of asking before a chat takes place, however, is that an etiquette that is here on SS ?? we have had a lot of newcomers ask us if they may chat, and have said of course as we are keen to meet people, but we ourselves to be honest, have never afforded that facility to others, and have jumped on to messaging and opened with a hello, without asking first if its OK to do so We apologise whole heartedly if we have offended anyone in any way !!!!
 
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The-A-Team

The-A-Team

27 April 2015
1,998
7,726
The-A-Team said:
We have always understood a wink on other sites and this site too shows a more than informal interest, however, we much prefer the openness of being able to chat freely and get to know a person, Its so much more reassuring to be able to do that here !! and yes we know the etiquette of asking before a chat takes place, however, is that an etiquette that is here on SS ?? we have had a lot of newcomers ask us if they may chat, and have said of course as we are keen to meet people, but we ourselves to be honest, have never afforded that facility to others, and have jumped on to messaging and opened with a hello, without asking first if its OK to do so We apologise whole heartedly if we have offended anyone in any way !!!!
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We will ask in future for members we do not know !!
 
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L

Lovestruckcpl

Admin said:
That's it, it takes time, rapport, building things up and getting to the point where you feel that it's apt to say; okay so fancy meeting?
You know? it takes time and effort.. We're all capable of it, but how you conduct yourself makes all the difference.

There is an emphasis on being social, correct.. That was and is the whole point.
To make it more sociable where you CAN have banter, you CAN chat and play around and have fun.. if you want it or want to.
Then, when ready - take it to the next level.. The whole site and emphasis is being more social with our fellow swingers. Not cold, callous and clinical. (?)
And yeah there's plenty of meets happening and people meeting up, socialising and more..
Mostly by the people who are respectful, polite and have well written profiles etc.

It's happening and peeps are meeting, but the 'fancy a fuck' crowd won't get anywhere.. That much I can tell you. :) x
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Hollynys said:
Plus if you are respectful it helps along with good manners. Also a little flirting online can increase the sexual tension but alleviate nerves when meeting for the first time (y)
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Pearls said:
I saw the word bounce in all that.....but it is true and I get the same but speak like that and you get no where in my book, have a brain and I will chat to you, its when you get the question "where you from" No hello first or good day...This is social swinging and not a meet greet and f... site like others and we have a genuine class of people here that are very interested in the scene.
All down to Sybilllll really hehe xx
Click to expand...

This is a brilliant thread..and I'm only half way through it!! To read comments and reasoning like the ones quoted here and many others on this thread is a real breath of fresh air to us :). One of the MAJOR set backs with our explorations over the past couple of years has been the complete lack of consideration from other 'members' on internet sites....'members' being the operative word there! ;). I would strongly agree that a large part of the problem does in deed lie in the fact that internet communication...as with text communication....can be largely so impersonal. (how many times have you taken a badly worded text message the wrong way, or a comment on Facebook/twitter etc.?) It is easy for some to forget that we ARE all human beings with thoughts and feelings, and that insensitive comments or arrogant and sexist remarks can really deter any further communication or, as has been our experience in the past, stop any further exploration into what could have been a tremendously sexy and rewarding event should it have come to fruition.
Yes of course Jen may want to get naked with you, and of course I want to see my beautiful wife flushed and excited and having tremendous quivering orgasms as you tenderly take her to knew heights.....but, like I would imagine is true of most women, she needs to feel respected....she needs to feel the warmth and affection of a friendly connection with somebody who is actually interested in her as a person....she needs to feel a sexual attraction and chemistry....and trust and understanding must be present at all times. Surely even the most submissive of people need this before they feel comfortable being a masters plaything? (please do correct me if I'm wrong here as I have no experience in the D/s side of things)
So far we have really felt comfortable here on SS, and it shines above all other sites we've been a part of including AFF, POF etc.
Well done to all the Admin, Moderators and Staff for making this a safe and welcoming place to explore :).
 
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Pearls

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
Lovestruckcpl said:
This is a brilliant thread..and I'm only half way through it!! To read comments and reasoning like the ones quoted here and many others on this thread is a real breath of fresh air to us :). One of the MAJOR set backs with our explorations over the past couple of years has been the complete lack of consideration from other 'members' on internet sites....'members' being the operative word there! ;). I would strongly agree that a large part of the problem does in deed lie in the fact that internet communication...as with text communication....can be largely so impersonal. (how many times have you taken a badly worded text message the wrong way, or a comment on Facebook/twitter etc.?) It is easy for some to forget that we ARE all human beings with thoughts and feelings, and that insensitive comments or arrogant and sexist remarks can really deter any further communication or, as has been our experience in the past, stop any further exploration into what could have been a tremendously sexy and rewarding event should it have come to fruition.
Yes of course Jen may want to get naked with you, and of course I want to see my beautiful wife flushed and excited and having tremendous quivering orgasms as you tenderly take her to knew heights.....but, like I would imagine is true of most women, she needs to feel respected....she needs to feel the warmth and affection of a friendly connection with somebody who is actually interested in her as a person....she needs to feel a sexual attraction and chemistry....and trust and understanding must be present at all times. Surely even the most submissive of people need this before they feel comfortable being a masters plaything? (please do correct me if I'm wrong here as I have no experience in the D/s side of things)
So far we have really felt comfortable here on SS, and it shines above all other sites we've been a part of including AFF, POF etc.
Well done to all the Admin, Moderators and Staff for making this a safe and welcoming place to explore :).
Click to expand...
Thankyou for the kind words, also may I add one of our pet hates is that people comment on photos of the lady in the partnership or in chat but forget there is a partner too, respect should be shown to both. We are very lucky here to have excellent members and also a fabulous reputation with the single men here, all are very well behaved xx
 
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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,136
95,613
Lovestruckcpl said:
This is a brilliant thread..and I'm only half way through it!! To read comments and reasoning like the ones quoted here and many others on this thread is a real breath of fresh air to us :). One of the MAJOR set backs with our explorations over the past couple of years has been the complete lack of consideration from other 'members' on internet sites....'members' being the operative word there! ;). I would strongly agree that a large part of the problem does in deed lie in the fact that internet communication...as with text communication....can be largely so impersonal. (how many times have you taken a badly worded text message the wrong way, or a comment on Facebook/twitter etc.?) It is easy for some to forget that we ARE all human beings with thoughts and feelings, and that insensitive comments or arrogant and sexist remarks can really deter any further communication or, as has been our experience in the past, stop any further exploration into what could have been a tremendously sexy and rewarding event should it have come to fruition.
Yes of course Jen may want to get naked with you, and of course I want to see my beautiful wife flushed and excited and having tremendous quivering orgasms as you tenderly take her to knew heights.....but, like I would imagine is true of most women, she needs to feel respected....she needs to feel the warmth and affection of a friendly connection with somebody who is actually interested in her as a person....she needs to feel a sexual attraction and chemistry....and trust and understanding must be present at all times. Surely even the most submissive of people need this before they feel comfortable being a masters plaything? (please do correct me if I'm wrong here as I have no experience in the D/s side of things)
So far we have really felt comfortable here on SS, and it shines above all other sites we've been a part of including AFF, POF etc.
Well done to all the Admin, Moderators and Staff for making this a safe and welcoming place to explore :).
Click to expand...
That is one seriously excellent reply.
Other members, on other sites - treat sites similar to this (bear with me on the similar) as nothing short of porn sites...
This is where we are different and unique. The ethos from day 1 is, swinging, comfortable, friendly, welcoming, relaxed and swinger orientated.
We strive to uphold this ethos and are very proud to have such a standard too. It is because of this mindset, we are attracting the right & correct members such as yourselves.
This is not a site where we encourage 'fancy a f**k' message from someone you've never spoken to.. No, we encourage and show people that you are more likely to get somewhere by speaking to someone correctly, having respect and dignity.
The saucy chats can follow once you've all got to know each other a bit better...

Respect and dignity I think being the most important things that are missing from other well known sites.
As others will know, we have almost a zero tolerance stance to a lot of things that no-one should put up with, and we do have a zero tolerance stance on abuse.
We take member privacy, security & safety - extremely seriously and we do all we can to help and protect members.
Threads such as this one, will hopefully help show members that derogatory and inflammatory remarks, or ignorant and crass messages, simply won't get anyone anywhere - and if reported we act, and we act swiftly too.

We did this for members such as yourselves, and obviously we are attracting the 'right sort' - if you know what I mean.
Long may it continue...
Thank you for the very kind words, it's fulfilling and rewarding to know when we're doing our jobs correctly. :)
 
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Pearls

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
Admin said:
That is one seriously excellent reply.
Other members, on other sites - treat sites similar to this (bear with me on the similar) as nothing short of porn sites...
This is where we are different and unique. The ethos from day 1 is, swinging, comfortable, friendly, welcoming, relaxed and swinger orientated.
We strive to uphold this ethos and are very proud to have such a standard too. It is because of this mindset, we are attracting the right & correct members such as yourselves.
This is not a site where we encourage 'fancy a f**k' message from someone you've never spoken to.. No, we encourage and show people that you are more likely to get somewhere by speaking to someone correctly, having respect and dignity.
The saucy chats can follow once you've all got to know each other a bit better...

Respect and dignity I think being the most important things that are missing from other well known sites.
As others will know, we have almost a zero tolerance stance to a lot of things that no-one should put up with, and we do have a zero tolerance stance on abuse.
We take member privacy, security & safety - extremely seriously and we do all we can to help and protect members.
Threads such as this one, will hopefully help show members that derogatory and inflammatory remarks, or ignorant and crass messages, simply won't get anyone anywhere - and if reported we act, and we act swiftly too.

We did this for members such as yourselves, and obviously we are attracting the 'right sort' - if you know what I mean.
Long may it continue...
Thank you for the very kind words, it's fulfilling and rewarding to know when we're doing our jobs correctly. :)
Click to expand...
Oi Mr A, fancy a fumble and a f...:whistle:;)
 
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Therapon

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,408
47,419
Another great post @Lovestruckcpl and what you say is true, good communications are the key especially when you are chatting over the internet and have never met the individual before because you cannot see their facial expressions or body language or hear the tone of voice. Too many people make flipant or crass remarks, or post before thinking, as they say read your message before you send it.
As for the d/s relationship, yes you need to feel comfortable in that relationship and it's critical that you have trust in each other, understand thier body language and if one partner say No it means exactly that.
 
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D

Deleted member 1030

AfroMale1986 said:
anymore tips peoples
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Yes.. this site is a little different to other swinging sites. Rather than a 'wham bam thank you ma'am' approach that you might find elsewhere, we're more into the social side, getting to know people first. The best way to do this is to join in with the madness on the forums, then, eventually this will lead to more personal chats, which will lead.... who knows where ;)
 
Therapon

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,408
47,419
AfroMale1986 said:
SO can someone tell me the best way to approach a lady you like or want to be with on a swinging site
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Pearls said:
Be yourself hun and always show respect, this is the best advice I can give x
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This ^^^^^^
There is no one way to approach anyone except by being polite and accepting that they may say no. All you can do is try, it may take time but you never know, good luck
 
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