The way/way not to introduce yourself in a message

[BlancoGoGo]

So any chance of a shag... isn't the right approach then...

Unless you're Sian (I suppose a shag's out of the question) Lloyd....

 

[Lips_Pearls]

So any chance of a shag... isn't the right approach then...

With some I suppose so... They know who they are
Joking.. nah I doubt it

 

[Pearls]

Ah you saw my intro then

I remember the message well

 

[Deleted member 2610]

SO can someone tell me the best way to approach a lady you like or want to be with on a swinging site

Respect, do not be pushy, if a couple address them both, it takes time to build confidence with people here, get photo verified, go to socials, be yourself and of course don't forget respect at ALL times :0))

 

[Therapon]

I remember the message well

Well why didn't your reply uhmm

 

[Pearls]

Well why didn't your reply uhmm

I thought I did

 

[sthwalescpl]

I know I'm going to tar guys with the stereotype... but after 8 years I've seen enough of it to know that, despite what most will say, most "single"* guys (but not all), do tend to think these type of sites are an "Instashag" portal, a doorway to bacchanalian orgies and sexual free-for-alls, and that all ladies who are on here are "up for it" 24/7.
The hard truth is, to use an old army term, "if you wanna get fit, you got to do the hard yards"... or, in swinging terms, if you want to have fun, you've got to put time and effort into developing relationships.
We were out at an organised social last night, and there were a few single guys there. Those guys, the ones that took the time to chat, make friends, and have a giggle, will probably be successful further down the line.
I do accept that some couples, and ladies too, do act in a manner which is not appropriate.

*I've asterixed "single", as I get asked why I put " around it, simple truth is, lots of single guys... aren't!

 

[Mrniceguy]

Ok
We've all been there, eager and see someone we like...but please remember we are real people looking to have fun.
Turn off for me are: Using text talk in a message, instantly asking if I want to meet you/fuck you. Asking for information that is clearly on my profile.
Start off slow its not a race. Rule of thumb, unless you would say it in real life face to face, don't say it on here.
Sorry I might sound snobby but surely its a matter of showing respect?
Sounds like sound advice to me, and that really should be natural respect .....
So other tips?

 

[GeorgeK]

Why would you ask upfront, it's not like you're making a business transaction. There needs to be an ebb and flow of conversation, to begin to understand what the other party is looking for. Be a little subtle. You may as well hump a wall.
Even though keen to meet and enjoy the company of like minded you need to establish who you are and what you are about first...

 

[GeorgeK]

I know I'm going to tar guys with the stereotype... but after 8 years I've seen enough of it to know that, despite what most will say, most "single"* guys (but not all), do tend to think these type of sites are an "Instashag" portal, a doorway to bacchanalian orgies and sexual free-for-alls, and that all ladies who are on here are "up for it" 24/7.
The hard truth is, to use an old army term, "if you wanna get fit, you got to do the hard yards"... or, in swinging terms, if you want to have fun, you've got to put time and effort into developing relationships.
We were out at an organised social last night, and there were a few single guys there. Those guys, the ones that took the time to chat, make friends, and have a giggle, will probably be successful further down the line.
I do accept that some couples, and ladies too, do act in a manner which is not appropriate.

*I've asterixed "single", as I get asked why I put " around it, simple truth is, lots of single guys... aren't!

I know what you mean about 'singe guys', as someone who is clearly not, just because your wife's back is turned doesn't mean you can get together with the first woman you see.

 

[GeorgeK]

So.... Who's up for a shag on Friday night?

I've never done it in the fast lane, Friday night seems the best time for it?

 

[Max-the-3rd]

think this is very much a problem for the females on the site, never get females coming out with a fancy a fuck in messages. I have a couple of palls on gay-dar. some of the thing they show me on there are unbelievable. "in the area, want me to come suck your cock?" and they let them!

very much a male thing.
sorry lady's from us all.xx

 

[Pearls]

Sadly bad introductions give all men a bad name, Ive had "Hi" to "wher u from" to "id love 2 lick u"
So far I have never had messages like this off any female.
The guys here that I have spoken to are all lovely and respectful and I hope this reputation stays like this xx

 

[GeorgeK]

Good to know that not every one thinks we are all trolls with no skin on our knuckles!

 

[Admin]

Good to know that not every one thinks we are all trolls with no skin on our knuckles!

One thing we have always been strong advocates of, is the genuine, friendly respectful gents among us.

 

[Pearls]

Good to know that not every one thinks we are all trolls with no skin on our knuckles!

Not at all and I have always said single guys get a very hard time, yes the idiots let the others down but we support gents here, one of my pet hates is "single guys if we want you we'll look for you" It really gripes me with people, there are ways of wording things and if I was the single guy they came looking for then I know what I would be saying.
In my eyes it's all about respect and as said saying things differently.

 

[GeorgeK]

Not at all and I have always said single guys get a very hard time, yes the idiots let the others down but we support gents here, one of my pet hates is "single guys if we want you we'll look for you" It really gripes me with people, there are ways of wording things and if I was the single guy they came looking for then I know what I would be saying.
In my eyes it's all about respect and as said saying things differently.

Good to know. a little respect can go a long way. Perhaps I'm the feminist adulterer?

 

[Pearls]

Just a little bump
I had a member join and came straight into chat with me (now banned) yesterday and asked how I was, I replied very nicely asking how he was doing to which he replied, "I'm horny"
What is it with people that are horny 24/7 what a crock, do people really think they are going to get a meet because they want to share their fruitfulness? Not and it just turns me off, so when you want to send that message folks, think and remember we are normal people, some with children running around the place and not feeling horny, idiots.

 

[Deleted member 3657]

Just a little bump
I had a member join and came straight into chat with me (now banned) yesterday and asked how I was, I replied very nicely asking how he was doing to which he replied, "I'm horny"
What is it with people that are horny 24/7 what a crock, do people really think they are going to get a meet because they want to share their fruitfulness? Not and it just turns me off, so when you want to send that message folks, think and remember we are normal people, some with children running around the place and not feeling horny, idiots.

Bang goes my last hope......

 

[Lovernotfighter]

Just a little bump
I had a member join and came straight into chat with me (now banned) yesterday and asked how I was, I replied very nicely asking how he was doing to which he replied, "I'm horny"
What is it with people that are horny 24/7 what a crock, do people really think they are going to get a meet because they want to share their fruitfulness? Not and it just turns me off, so when you want to send that message folks, think and remember we are normal people, some with children running around the place and not feeling horny, idiots.

And some people wonder why a lot of men worry about how we come across

 

[mrclouse]

Just a little bump
I had a member join and came straight into chat with me (now banned) yesterday and asked how I was, I replied very nicely asking how he was doing to which he replied, "I'm horny"
What is it with people that are horny 24/7 what a crock, do people really think they are going to get a meet because they want to share their fruitfulness? Not and it just turns me off, so when you want to send that message folks, think and remember we are normal people, some with children running around the place and not feeling horny, idiots.

Cough cough, I've never said that before cough cough

 

[Deleted member 3657]

I can honestly say I've never said anything like that unless the chat eventually moved in that direction. If anything I'm never that direct and usually wait for them to initiate. Especially from now on.

 

[No longer with us]

I can honestly say I've never said anything like that unless the chat eventually moved in that direction. If anything I'm never that direct and usually wait for them to initiate. Especially from now on.

As a rule of thumb, in general, that's my 'policy'; let the other person guide the direction of the chat. As I mentioned the other day in another thread, that doesn't mean that I always get it right. I might think the chat is heading in that direction and get it wrong... but if I am, and I realise, it's unreserved apologies. I've never assumed nor accepted that the other person is at fault.

 

[The_Bibas]

Just had someone on here give me their mobile number...and we haven't really spoken
Another asking if they can cum on me..
Unfortunately I will not be meeting either of those..
It's about attraction.. That spark.. Humour..
Without face pics and that immediately connection peeps are wasting ink...
XxxBibaxxX

 

[Pearls]

Just had someone on here give me their mobile number...and we haven't really spoken
Another asking if they can cum on me..
Unfortunately I will not be meeting either of those..
It's about attraction.. That spark.. Humour..
Without face pics and that immediately connection peeps are wasting ink...
XxxBibaxxX

You have a report button hun xx